Hi Friends,

We have potty down pat both 1 and 2 other than the wipe afterwards. Ok, I think it is cute when he comes out with pants at the ankles wobbling with paper in his hand but in fact it is not ok.

Questions, How do boys wipe? When are they old enough? How do you teach how to go thru the unders and fly to go? How old should they be? How much mess shoud I expect?

Thanks so much, just trying to get ready, April

It sounds like you're doing great! Here's what I did w/ds. As he has SID, I had learned long ago that during my period, the feminine wipes are much more comfortable than regular toilet paper. I got my son the Kandoo flushable wipes for kids. It helped in that it was also a similar feel to the baby wipes we'd used before. He still uses them, and I'm trying to teach him to use TP first, then clean up w/ the Kandoos.

I had his daddy teach him about the fly, but in truth, not until he was six. It's just easier and less messy to let him pull his pants down. I think a NT child can get the hang of it (no pun intended!) sooner, but ds is so meticulous that this works for him for now. I don't want him to get anxious about the bathroom. He's already anxious enough about other things.

It's funny, as in the above examples, and other things, a parent of a typical child would accuse me of coddling my child. I have always gone with my gut. Now I find out I was right all along - I had so much guilt because I did do so much for my son - helped him fasten his pants, put on his socks, etc. Now I find out he has motor difficulties;otherwise, he would have demanded he do it himself. Just go with your gut. If it doesn't work at first, don't force it. Back off and try later. Another example is in teeth brushing. Based on TV and other things, we tried to have ds brush his own teeth until both his ped and dentist said that most typical kids don't have the dexterity to brush their own teeth until they reach the age of 7. It's interesting: my sil forced her kids to brush their teeth at a young age and refused to breastfeed, and her kids both have had cavities. My son, knock on wood, has had no cavities, even though both his dad and I have soft teeth. Something is working. Because we only drink bottled or r/o water, we do give flouride supplements, which may have made the difference. Don't know.

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The only advice I can offer is not to have the boys wipe after they go pee. They just shake. I taught my oldest to wipe and when my dh saw him do it, he almost died. I didn't know, heck I am not a guy, kwim .

That's where I have to laugh, here I am a woman trying teach the little boy how to manly pee things. Truly, how would I even know?

We have the shake down now and I am going to start working on the bringing it thru the unders to start and work up from there.

I find it interesting how the Dad is in such denial that he can't even help with the things I feel he should.

Blessings, April

I still don't get why men just shake and don't wipe. It's just gross, and it turns me off in the intimacy area. I mean, why not just use a tissue and keep your underwear clean and yourself clean? Why not have a roll of t.p. next to the urinals? Who cleans up the sprinkles in our bathrooms from the "shaking"? I'll bet that in 90% of the households, it's not the men! I think there should be a social movement to change it!!!!!!!!!! Why don't men like privacy when they go to the bathroom? I'm so glad I'm not a guy! Then again, I haven't had bathroom privacy since I had kids.

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Carol,

I just laughed very hard! You are so right and very funny. I want to teach wipe but he needs to fit in with the rest of the slobs.

All the best, April