I think as parents we all want to see our children as adults that are capable of independently living on their own. I think with special needs children that becomes even more of a thought - though not all of these children will be capable of that.

I was recently talking with a friend of mine, she has five children and her oldest daughter is autistic. I asked her where she expected her child to be as an adult and if she will ever be capable of living on her own.

My friend actually has hopes that her daughter, with some assistance, will be capable of living on her own or, at least, in an apartment that will be attached to her parents home. She said they still had some critical years ahead of her but they would know for sure but that is a goal that they are working towards and they have made a lot of advancement with this child.

Where do you see your child in the future?

I should add, I know another family, with a child with Downs Syndrome, and the family realizes that he will never be able to live on his own. This family has a hard time especially because dad left, soon after the child was born, and Mom is a tiny woman with large son who is still growing. She has a lot of help but she does struggle to control him. I do not know what is in store for his future.

I see my son leading a normal life. Sure he has some issues, however, I truely believe that his are minimal and he will overcome them.

On a positive note for your friend, I have an older brother who is Austistic. He was quite severe, prompting my mother (and his dad) to have him institutionalized (something that was common years ago). He now lives in his own apartment in a supervised building, holds a job and regularly travels to my moms for visits (several states away).

Same thing with my dd who is at the less severe end of the spectrum. She has some issues coping with things but she is very bright and even the neurologist said she may still retain some of her quirks/strong interests but she will improve with the help she is getting. No one has a crystal ball but I am very hopeful for her future.

I do have concerns, but feel blessed that ds is where he is on the scale, compared to where he could be. I feel confident that he will live independently and successfully, which is why I think therapies and exposure will be key for him. He'll never "fit in" and be one of the pack, but he has always been, and will always be, a leader. I expect great things from him. One comment his ped. made is, "He may not be college material, but he will be just fine." I STRONGLY disagree. This is the Dr. that thought nothing was wrong in the first place. His school psych. disagrees, too. He probably will hate, and not be successful, sitting in class all day at a conventional college, but with all of the online opportunities and classes without walls, he'll be fine. I honestly picture him as another Steven Spielberg or someone along those lines and will help him find his own drum to beat. He may or may not be a Bill Gates, and that's OK. He's not ruthless like Gates.

I think he's just a guy that will need to be allowed to spread his wings and learn at his own pace. He thinks differently from others and has his own way of coming to correct conclusions. I'm OK with that. I also believe he'll find the right person and have a family, but I will let him live his own life.

His support structure now is what will help him develop those wings.

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I hope my son will be able to live independently. This is my goal, because unfortunately I'm not going to live forever

He needs a lot of adaptations to the environment, but I see that he can do things once the adaptations are made. So we shall see.

College I don't really care about. I think he has enough ability to work doing something. I would like him to go to college but it isn't a big deal for me.