I cant keep living this way - Page 3

mommytosa · 11-30-2006, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2littleladies

The kids cloths at my goodwill are never namebrands like that. I wonder if I go to the ritzey part of town if i could find better stuff.

Yes. My brother says that the clothes at the goodwills in nicer neighborhoods in Atlanta are really high price brands, althoug it sounds like they charge just a little more than mine (it sounds like maybe $1 or so).

2littleladies · 12-01-2006, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matameashmad

I am so with you I really do know how you feel. We at times dont even have $ for food there have been times where we eat eggs for a week its heartbreaking but good thing my Girls LOVE eggs LOL...But yes times are really hard for people in this age you cant even just get a house without have housepayments at $1,000+ and then on top of everything else. Matthew and I try really hard we are sad alot I live in COLD ASS WI and I dont have a dryer and let me tell ya my little fingers just FREEZE when i have to go hang the clothes outside =O( But we have other bills and stuff we need to spend our $$ on then a dryer right now and I dont work and I see its so hard for Matthew sometimes like when we dont have any $ for a week and i get mad at him I feel bad he tries SO hard to just make me and the Girls happy but we just TRY and tell ourselves that after Madison is in school (2 1/2 years) we can both be working and can get money back on track I actually was just going through all these bills I have that are in collections and it makes me wanna cry no we dont have C.Cards they are bills from the heat company gas company Dr bills I just sit and think WHY WHY WHY cant I just have like $20,000 thats all I ask for and just pay everything offf and sit living at 0 except for house bills. But things get better just try to not think about it I know thats hard but even just take a Friday/Saturday night and have a fun night at home and think NO $$$ THOUGHTS we try to have company visit and that helps to just take the $$$ Thoughts away for a bit but yes I know how you feel and if you ever wanna talk or vent the $$ problems I am here sometimes i think we need a $$$ buddy ya know how people have diet buddies well we need Money Matters Buddies. I know I just went on way lots just now so sorry for that but yes if you ever wanna talk contact me we can work on this togather.

i pm'd you. I need a buddy.

jmp2675 · **hang in there**

I don't know where you live but in chicago you can get health insurance for your family for free and I think other states are doing it, don't forget about angel food minisrties andfreecycle. I know how you feel we have been there but htese services helped us so we didin't have to feel so strapped. and sometimes the gas and electric companies hace programs to help also. trust me there is no shame to ask for help. cuz it's out there. the hardest part is getting the courage! Get free samples from dr'sif you gotta go in, just tell you can"t afford it they are more than happy to help! I 'll keep you in my prayers and good luck

jeninjersey · 12-04-2006, 09:38 AM

I understand how you feel, I have been there. One thing I started to do was ask for what I really wanted for the holidays/my birthday. I know women tend to ask for things for the household but sometimes you just need something for you. Tell people the make-up you want, it may seem a little strange at first but it will help you live in your budget and get a couple treats for yourself.

Check craigslist for stuff too.

gisele2828 · 12-04-2006, 10:08 AM

i haven't posted in so long that i had to re-register, but your post in my e-mail alert really got to me as i, too, am so sick of cutting back and cutting back and i look at all the nice things and feel so sad. it very often doesn't help that i know they are just "things" and we can't take them with us, after all. i'm so tired of struggling, we're 3 people including a toddler living in a 1-bedroom apartment in nyc.

i leased this apt when i was alone and it was barely room for me, never mind 3. we're in the process of moving our son onto the sofabed so maybe my husband and i can have some time, finally.we have so many issues, too many to go into, but i'm so tired of the daily crap and being cut off at every turn. like we were cut off WIC because my husband earns $12 too much, without any regard to the fact we're drowning in debt.

anyway, the whole point i was responding was to say that in the ny daily news a few sundays ago there was an article about famous moms and how even though they're famous they are also real people who give back. 2 of the moms were sarah jessica parker and angela bassett. i forgot the third. anyway, it was what angela bassett said that really struck me. she said that when she was growing up in the projects, they weren't allowed to think of themselves as poor. they were "temporarily broke" and it made all the difference in her attitude.

i often think of those words and i feel comfort that this situation will not last forever. g-d only knows it could be far worse, as i know in my heart as i lived thru 9/11. if i have to remind myself 24/7 then that's what i will do until it passes, however long it takes.

rodriguezhr · **Has anyone ever thought of getting a job?**

I realize the purpose of this group is to stay home and offer your children the best lives possible, but I don't see pinching pennies until the state of misery or having bill collectors calling the house a very positive environment. I stayed home for two years and we did our share of budgeting and cutting back which is ok. But I feel that when you let yourselve get to the point of only buying when on sale and being bitter about it it's time to make more money.

I feel my children are no better or worse off now that I work. If anything they have become more responsible, more socialize and we can secure a much better future for them by putting large amounts of money in college accounts and trust accounts that they can use when they are older.

I'm not at all trying to bash the stay at home thing, because I did it too. My point is that there comes a point when you've got to look at the whole picture and make the best choice for your overall lifestyle. I was raised poor and believe me I don't respect my parents more becaue of it, if anything I wish they would have made some changes in their situation to make our lives more comfortable.

2littleladies · 12-04-2006, 01:02 PM

I will get a job next fall when dd is in school and I will only have to pay for day care for one child. I did work and some weeks I had to borrow to pay day care and that was only putting me in the whole. When you make less than it cost its not an option.

daycaremom · 12-04-2006, 01:37 PM

I agree with the others. Wait it out. When the kids are younger, it always seems harder. We went through it and even lived in apartments for about 10 years before a house. Every year got better and better as time went on and with the kids getting older, the stress isn't as bad. We just keep working and looking for ways to make our lives easier. But don't forget to give yourselves, "you time", it's a necessity!

daycaremom · 12-04-2006, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodriguezhr

I realize the purpose of this group is to stay home and offer your children the best lives possible, but I don't see pinching pennies until the state of misery or having bill collectors calling the house a very positive environment. I stayed home for two years and we did our share of budgeting and cutting back which is ok. But I feel that when you let yourselve get to the point of only buying when on sale and being bitter about it it's time to make more money.

I feel my children are no better or worse off now that I work. If anything they have become more responsible, more socialize and we can secure a much better future for them by putting large amounts of money in college accounts and trust accounts that they can use when they are older.

I'm not at all trying to bash the stay at home thing, because I did it too. My point is that there comes a point when you've got to look at the whole picture and make the best choice for your overall lifestyle. I was raised poor and believe me I don't respect my parents more becaue of it, if anything I wish they would have made some changes in their situation to make our lives more comfortable.

I ditto this!

cau143 · 12-04-2006, 04:28 PM

Depending on how much you can make would be the deciding factor in getting a job. If your pay is only $8.oo an hour by the time you pay day care for 2 or 3 kids and work clothes you may actually be spending more than you make. I think a mind change is the answer, I tell myself I am frugal by choice and I am smart enough to beat the system. I would take advantage of any free entertainment for the kids as well as myself. Libraries usually offer story hours, drop off the kids and then go wonder in the adult section for books, movies etc. . I aways ask for things for myself for Christmas & birthdays. When I can I always give to food & clothes drives so if things are really rough I also go to the food bank to help tide us over. I use rummage sales and garage sales as ways to find nice clothes for low prices , my friends and I aos exchage clothes as the kids outgrow them so fast. Good Luck & I hope you feel better