I cant keep living this way - Page 4

Alana79 · 12-04-2006, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodriguezhr

I realize the purpose of this group is to stay home and offer your children the best lives possible, but I don't see pinching pennies until the state of misery or having bill collectors calling the house a very positive environment. I stayed home for two years and we did our share of budgeting and cutting back which is ok. But I feel that when you let yourselve get to the point of only buying when on sale and being bitter about it it's time to make more money.

I feel my children are no better or worse off now that I work. If anything they have become more responsible, more socialize and we can secure a much better future for them by putting large amounts of money in college accounts and trust accounts that they can use when they are older.

I'm not at all trying to bash the stay at home thing, because I did it too. My point is that there comes a point when you've got to look at the whole picture and make the best choice for your overall lifestyle. I was raised poor and believe me I don't respect my parents more becaue of it, if anything I wish they would have made some changes in their situation to make our lives more comfortable.

I do work. Full time, outside the home. My husband works 2 jobs. We pay for 2 sitters since our kids are 5.5 years apart in age.
"But I feel that when you let yourselve get to the point of only buying when on sale and being bitter about it it's time to make more money. "
I totally disagree with this statement. Buying on sale is never a bad thing, and I don't feel bitter about anything. I have a happy life, my kids are fed and clothed, I have gas in my car and my bills are paid. Just because I clip coupons and wait for sales does not mean I do not make enough money. I am frugal because I have to. I am paying off loans and saving for a house. We live in a tiny basement apt with 2 kids and 2 bedrooms.
Do not go around here painting us all with the same brush. I enjoy this site and I love the ladies that I call my friends. And believe me, given the choice, I would stay home with my babies in a heartbeat. Even if that meant never having new clothes.

Alana

vtmom · 12-04-2006, 08:33 PM

Have you thought about watching another child or two either at your house or the other family's? It could get you out of the house, or not, but it would mean time with your kids AND a little extra income, without having to pay for childcare. Just a thought.

Mommyof3 · 12-04-2006, 08:49 PM

I am so there with you! I am so tired of having to live on a budget and worry about every little penny, but I also love being with my kids and wouldn't give that up for anything. I also believe that I am teaching my kids that having "stuff" does not make you happy and that its okay to go without as long as you have what you truely need. I hope things look up for you and that you do start to feel a little more positive about your situation. One thing I do is every night I put all the spare change from the day into a piggy bank, and then once a month I wrap it and it is my "fun money" wether it is $2 or $20 I spend it on me. I may go to the local juice bar and buy myself a smoothie or if its a good month I may buy the makeup I like. It is something I can look forward to and I have found that I dont waste my change like I used to. I no longer buy newspapers, I either read online or get my MIL's the next day. I also have stopped going to convenience stores and wasting my change on junk food or sodas, I am amazed at how much change I can save up in a month and I really look forward to my little splurges.

3lynns · 12-04-2006, 09:11 PM

Ok. I totally understand where you are coming from. there are days that I have to count the miles till I have an empty tank of gas and figure out where I can and cannot go. We live out of our cupboards for days. Dh goes to work without a luch(mainly because he is picky) but because I cannot get peanut butter or sandwich meat. We also live in a 2 bedroom apartment with all 3 of the girls sharing a bedroom. Dh works 2 full time jobs and 1 parttime and goes to school part time. I am left to do everything. All of this and we just got done claiming Bankruptcy in October! We are supposed to be debt free and it still feels like we are living pay check to pay check. I can see the turn around but it sure is a slow one when you want a BIG change.

My advice is to keep doing what you are doing and never write down a budget plan. I was always writing down our budget and what our bills were and what we could spend. In thelong run I NEVER followed it because something always came up ie....new tires, forgotten medical bill, a whole month of birthday parties whatever it always happens that way. The good thing for us right now is that we do not own a house and do not have home repairs and can save what little it is for us to buy a house eventually. Even though our savings is still at zero I can see the (somewhat) end of the rainbow.

Well I just wanted to let you know that I (we) are all here for you. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to pm me anytime.

I hope this helps a little knowing that you are not the only one.

Sonja

gopher02 · 12-05-2006, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alana79

I do work. Full time, outside the home. My husband works 2 jobs. We pay for 2 sitters since our kids are 5.5 years apart in age.
"But I feel that when you let yourselve get to the point of only buying when on sale and being bitter about it it's time to make more money. "
I totally disagree with this statement. Buying on sale is never a bad thing, and I don't feel bitter about anything. I have a happy life, my kids are fed and clothed, I have gas in my car and my bills are paid. Just because I clip coupons and wait for sales does not mean I do not make enough money. I am frugal because I have to. I am paying off loans and saving for a house. We live in a tiny basement apt with 2 kids and 2 bedrooms.
Do not go around here painting us all with the same brush. I enjoy this site and I love the ladies that I call my friends. And believe me, given the choice, I would stay home with my babies in a heartbeat. Even if that meant never having new clothes.

Alana

I don't think that they were saying that buying on sale is a bad thing, but rather it is bad if you are bitter about. I know there are several people on this board who pride themselves on only buying on sale (me included). I actually get a high from a good deal and enjoy bargain shopping.

2littleladies · 12-05-2006, 09:16 AM

I totally get excited about A good deal and its like a hobby . I just dont want to feel like I have to do it. I dont want to feel like if I need cereal I cant have it if its not on sale. I'm really not as bitter as it sounds I was haveing a rough day and I get tired of feeling like I have cut every corner I can and still cant make the ends meet. I just dont see how people can live on such a tight budget for such a long time. I think its just so hard on me becuase I grew up with money. Or at least I thought I did. My mom never acted like she was on a budget but now she tells me about all the things she did without so that my brother and I could have. I dont think thats right, kids should see that their family has to make choices and do without the things they "want" but dont need sometimes.

Thanks for all your suport I am feeling better today.