I am in need of some advice as far as wedding gifts are concerned.

Wedding #1: My sister. I am the MOH and have alreadybought my dress and paid for alterations, thrown her a shower, bought a shower gift, and will be attending her bachelorette party. The wedding is super fancy. I don't mean to be judgmental, but if they would have spent a third of what they have on the wedding, they could have bought all the gifts they are registered for a few times over.

Wedding #2: My cousin. We are planning on going to the wedding but it is in Canada. If we go, my husband and I will have to pay $15 each to get enhanced drivers licenses and will probably have to get a hotel for the evening.

Wedding #3: We are not going but it is one of my husband's old college friends who was the best man in our wedding.

Wedding #4: This is the second marriage for the bride and groom and we are actually only invited to the reception. We haven't decided if we are going or not.

I am just really not sure what to do. This many weddings in this short of a time frame would have been difficult already, but my husband was recently laid off indefinitely so we are extra concerned about money as the amount he gets on unemployment just covers our house payment. I make about $300 a month and he also has a little business that brings in a couple hundred a month. We have three kids. And let's top this all off with we bought a house in March that we spent most of our savings on because we fixed it up. (It was a dump and we HAD to spend the money to make it livable, this was not a luxury remodel.) So this isn't great timing. While I am really happy for all of them and I really want to show support for them, we just can't spend very much money. Has anyone else dealt with this? I honestly can't even afford to go out for he bachelorette party. Does anyone have any ideas, suggestions, cheap gift ideas, etc.? Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

Melissa

Wow ... that is tough.

Here is what I would do.

Wedding #1 - Your sister should understand that your DH has been laid off and that you already have paid quite a bit out on her wedding so far. If I was her, I would not expect a gift.

Wedding #2 - There is no way I could be traveling at this point, of course I'm not real close to any of my cousins. A card and a small gift card is probably what I would do as well.

Wedding #3 - A card and perhaps a bit more of a gift card.

Wedding #4 - I probably wouldn't go but I would send a card.

Good luck. 4 weddings in such a short period of time is tough even when you do have the income.

First of all, you have to remember that it is okay to send a gift before or UP TO A YEAR AFTER the actual wedding. You really don't have to come up with four wedding gifts this month.

Wedding #1 / Sister: Do you have a Tuesday Morning store near-by? You could probably pick up something sweet and very wedding-ish even if it isn't something they have on their registry.

Wedding #2 / Cousin: I'm not sure about an 'enhanced drivers license'. Hubby and I travel internationally all the time and I've never worried about whether or not my USA drivers license is enough. Perhaps there are other family members in similar financial circumstances who wouldn't mind sharing a room. As for a gift, if your family celebrates Christmas, a nice Christmas ornament to get them on their way with their collection would be sweet. I often find very nice ornaments (Waterford, Lennox, etc) at second-tier stores like Ross, TJ Maxx or Marshalls.

Wedding #3 / Best Man: Send something fun like a bottle of wine from a local winery. Alternately, consider something guy-oriented like a new tool from Home Depot.

Wedding #4 / Second Marriage: Same as above: an ornament, something from Tuesday Morning or a bottle of wine.

You can get some nice wedding cards at the dollar store.

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To get into Canada now, you need a passport or an enhanced driver's license. You might want to call your border and see what they want.

I don't know if you're into cooking or known for it but could you take some of your favorite recipes, copy them and include notes about why your family likes them or any stories you have relating to them? You could also include some smaller items that correspond to one of the recipe or just leave it simple and heartfelt. I think those are some of the best gifts: ones that people obviously didn't just grab something off the registry but truly thought about it and put time into it. That shows way more love, in my opinion! Also, for any of the weddings you don't end up going to shipping them wouldn't be too expensive!

I'm sure your sister would understand it you didn't get her a gift, but a really nice, thoughtful card. Maybe for the others you could send an old photo in a nice, cheap frame, or make a nice card with a beautiful, meaningful poem in it. Good luck!!

Hi,

You just send her an card, i know she will definitely got an care, love and affection from you, she is your sister and understand you. Relation doesn't need an formalities.

Thanks!

For sister: I like the Tuesday Morning gift idea; you can always find something relatively inexpensive but tasteful there. Heck, even a really nice frame or photo album; I've bought some extraordinary coffee table books there! They usually have some gourmet food items in stock, too.

For cousin: We have a small family, so cousins are special to us, so I can understand if you feel like you should be there. However, I'd be reconsidering the hotel, if at all possible. As for a gift, again try Tuesday Morning. Or check to see what's on sale/clearance at your local Gold Crown Hallmark store; you never know. And the "Our First Christmas" ornament idea is a good one, in my book!

For best man and second marriage friends: Send your regrets, and a card, certainly. Tuesday Morning and the Hallmark stores could work here, too, as above. The wine idea is good, but be aware that there are some restrictions on transporting/shipping alcoholic beverages. Remember Smokey and the Bandit? Well, it's true; I can't ship wine east, but I can ship west--go figure! You could always look at the registries and see if you can find something there in a price range that's comfortable for you. I remember that my registry had some kitchen utinsils that were inexpensive. I also had one guest buy something that matched my everyday dishes but that I had overlooked. Is there something that you wish you'd had early in the marriage? I also know some folks who have given Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover book with a very sweet letter reminiscent of the giver's relationship with the bride and/or groom over the years and how much love and best wishes were sent with the book---it was well received and greatly appreciated by the recipient(s). I really wanted a family Bible when I got married, but didn't get one as a gift.

You could always make something yourself, too. Like lavender sachets for the bride's drawers or closets, or put together a spa basket! You can find those ingredients pretty cheap, and believe me, they will be enjoyed!

Hope that helps; good luck!

ETA: I also know that a coworker of mine collected all of the aunts' and grandmothers' recipes into a book for her sister as a wedding gift. What made it really special was not just the family recipes that were passed down, but she also scanned in the photos of the ladies of the family from years gone by. It became a family history album in addition to a recipe book, and was truly treasured, I'm sure!

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