my mil is hoarder and I feel like im going to go nuts if I stay in her house too long. I think she does it becuae she is affraid she may need it one day and not have to money to buy it. Or maybe its becuase her life is so crazy she feels like her things is all she has control over. I dont know for sure but I do know that she does not want anybodys oppionon about it. What really bugs me is that she just doesnt understand that I dont want all that junk at my house. SHe is moving again the summer and is already talking about the furniture she is going to give me. I think she thinks I need more chairs becuase I dont have one in every corner. I like my house just the way it is.

Treehugger - this is SOOO me too! I don't have any answers because I've done exactly the same thing. I will say that I have limited my insanity now and it's not nearly as bad as it was before - only a couple of rooms in the house are really awful - the rest are pretty decent most of the time. The other thing that means is that I've done the EASY purging and the stuff that is left is just hard to part with but still does not need to be there.

Please keep us posted on how this works for you. I'd love to hear any tips on how you were able to let stuff like that go. I know I'm nuts in this area, I know it makes me unhappy, I just haven't committed to changing this part of my life yet. Good luck!!

__________________
Better to give your kids the values you have
than the valuables you can't afford.

This comment really scares me. I'm not a hoarder, my dh is what I would consider a mild hoarder (he does eventually get rid of stuff), but my MIL was a major hoarder of useless crap. (She was not intelligent or well-educated, so this comment does not apply to her.) After she died, we had to clean out all of her stuff. It was amazing the amount of useless stuff we would find. We started out trying to sort things so we could donate some stuff. Then, due to time constraints, we ended up opening drawers and dumping their entire contents into trash bags. There's no telling what we threw away. There was just too much stuff to go through.

The reason all of this scares me is because of my dd. The article said that there is usually a close relative with this issue, and that would be my horrible late MIL (I swear, every problem in my dh's family can be traced back to her ). Dd wants to save EVERYTHING, even little scraps of paper. She is very bright, thinks outside the box, and could probably construct a dollhouse out of candy wrappers. I've tried cutting her some slack, but I'm worried that she will have problems with her hoarding when she's an adult.

I know over the years as I was growing up, my mom was always very frugal. She was always saving $$ for a just in case incident, which was great and all, but sometimes it was a bit extreme. We grew up middle class and never had a need. We were comfortable, but I can remember specifically to this day that we never went to Disney world because we had to always save money just in case the car needed to be repaired. I look back and think alot of it was she was afraid to spend it, to take a risk. Just like a hoarder in away, afraid to get rid of it, just in case it is needed again someday. I still have never gone to Disney world, but plan to taker my own family in a few years. I am really looking forward to it.

__________________

I'm a semi-hoarder, but am working on de-cluttering my home and life! Everything I have thought is either highly sentimental or something that I can use (maybe just down the road). But, since much of it I have not used in years i ma getting rid of it now.

I grew up with hgrandparents who were extreme hoarders. They lived through the depression era though when things we take for granted were hard to come by. They would pick up a used nail off the sidewalk and hang on to it- just in case. I think some from our parents generation still remember and are more likely to hang onto it than maybe we are.

Good luck!

i have learned a big lesson from my m.i.l who is a hoarder. i go to her house and pity her really. then i came home and saw my piles of xmas bows, wrapping paper, clearanced and garage sale stuff that i'll "get to" one day.

then i met a new mom through my mom's club and she has NOTHING. her hub is on disability, she has 3 kids and the third has been in pediatric icu for 3 months now. i went over to help her move some stuff. she really didnt have anything, she had to quit her job to be with her baby in the icu and they have nothing. they're living off of donations at the moment. and here i am concerned with my overflow of toothpaste, gift bags, wrapping paper and "presents" for next year. what??!?

after coming home, i looked at my CRAP and was ashamed. im hanging onto this stuff because??? i need all this wrapping paper because??? it will be on clearance NEXT year!
i too, didnt want to give away my stuff because it was *mine* but i had this moment of clarity. i am so lucky to have healthy children. i am so lucky to be able to stay home with them. i am so lucky that my hub. has given me a beautiful house, a beautiful car, and we do not struggle anymore. so what, exactly am i doing hanging onto this crap?

i began to donate, throw away and donate some more! it feels great. i really does! especially clearning space so my kids could play in the garage, basement and the playroom! i totally recommend just asking yourself "are you serious?"

thats my .02

"For most, however, hoarding is the reflection of anxiety, sometimes raised to the Nth degree of obsession and compulsion. In such instances, it vastly, pathologically, overcapitalizes on the virtue of saving."

This quote from the article Kim suggested fits me to a T. There is a fine line somewhere between stockpiling smart and hoarding stupidly. Unfortunately, my brain has no idea where that line is!

__________________
Better to give your kids the values you have
than the valuables you can't afford.