My mother is a hoarder. She keeps everything and gets mad if anyone throws anything away without checking with her first. My father can't even recycle newspapers that a 6 days old without checking with her first. She also will go ot and by 20 rolls of Christmas paper at 10 cents a roll after Xmas even if she doesn't even need it. It's like she is afraid it will never go on sale again. Is this normal? She grew up in a blue collar family. They were on the poorer side, but never went without. It is really getting to my father. She still has party favors in her house from 10 years ago. Junky ones. I love the fact that I have been on my own for 9 years and can get ride of things without being questioned! TIA!!!

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I wish I had an answer to your question, because this sounds just like me. I have more wrapping paper than I will use till I die, especially since I put many gifts in gift bags now...which I ALSO have millions of. I also don't like people throwing things away, and have been known to dig through the bags they throw out and retrieve "valuable" items. I have massive quantities of stuff I'm sure I'll never use again. Probably my kids will one day be posting on a board about their crazy hoarding mom...that makes me sad

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The Psychology of Hoarding
http://www.discover.com/issues/oct-0...y-of-hoarding/

Hoarding: The Clean Sweep
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/...26-000007.html

My DM is one too and here are some support sites that I found. I realized that the children of hoarders often struggle with the same issues from guilt as a child believeing that you are the reason the house can't be clean or not wanting to go over to the house b/c I get clausterphobic.....I don't know why my Mom keeps all that junk. I think it ties into anxiety and a feeling that you may lose everything and depression about past losses in life. It's as if they can hold onto the stuff then it will make up for pain of the past......it's very complex and I may never know exactly what's behind it b/c therapy is not something she'd appreciate.....all I can do is make myself ok......

http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/bindex.php


I have become a minimalist, yes it pushed me to the opposite side of the spectrum and it drives my DM insane to see me donate things and clear things out if it even begins to look cluttered. I have an inability to keep things. I can store my keepsakes in one or two boxes! Kinda funny if you think about it!

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* Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.

~Ron Paul

"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison

Just wanted to add my Father (r.i.p.) was very disapproving of the mess and became very clausterphobic in the last few years of his life....I hope you can help your Mom.... just please remember that this isn't as much of a choice as it seems.

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* Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy.

~Ron Paul

"If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison

There is counseling for hoarding. We try to find Clean Sweep on tv when my MIL is at our house. My DH has tried to explain that she doesn't need to keep things she isn't using. I don't like taking my children to her house because it is so piled up. They are allergic to dust, etc. She will empty out a spare room for them to stay the night then it is piled up the next week. Her level of acceptably clean and mine are very different.

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I've been coming to grips with this, this week in fact. You can't see any of my clutter because it's all organized and stuffed in closets. These closets can't be used now and I never use the stuff in there. I anually take the stuff out, look at it, then put it back because it's too good to throw away or I might use or need it someday.

This weekend I had a light bulb moment about it all. I literally started to feel claustrophobic. The stuff seemed to be everywhere. I had cleared it out of my bedroom and made my room look so pretty and inviting. I had brought the bins down stairs to sort and barter with, so it sat next to my desk. Then in the same area, a shelf crashed and all the stuff came down with it. The next day I was having a birthday part for my mom and I didn't want her to see all the stuff, so back up to my pretty bedroom it went. I do this all the time. This stuff is racking up some miles with all the moving of it.

I finally want it all gone. It is bothering a part of me (the frugal part). If I throw these things away, I may want them again someday and then I'll have to spend money to buy them again....this kills me. Some of the things are truly pretty and nice things, but I don't have room for them so they sit in the closet. My selfish part doesn't want to give them to anyone, I like them and they are mine...I don't like my bratty self. I have piles and piles of cloths that I never wear. I could wear them, but I don't....it's hard to give away stuff that fits and is wearable....they are clutter, I know..... I have a bin filled with suits that I wore 10 years ago when I worked in an office, I have no where to wear a suit, but what if I get another job someday...bother, bother.. Karate gees and belts that I earned from high school, I was good, what if a take karate again...hmmm

I'm nuts! This stuff has to go and this is the week I'm going to do it! I'm going to fill bags and put them immediately in my truck and take them to the Salvation army (and not go in to refill with new stuff!) I think I can do it, I think I can. It's gonna be painful, I'm going to need lots of support, get ready....

My FIL is also a hoarder. He had a stroke a couple of years ago and my husband and I had to search through his house for his will and power of attorney. We were absolutely shocked at what we found. There were at least 6 vacuum cleaners - who knows if any of them worked, there were stacks of newspapers everywhere, there are all kinds of toys, probably 20 hubcaps, and numerous other items. Stuff was stashed in every nook and crannie and there were NO COUNTERTOPS VISABLE anywhere in the house. You couldn't even have sat down a cup of coffee! The two car garage is packed full of junk that almost reaches the ceiling. My DH and I believe it is a sickness. My FIL has several rental properties and we believe he accumulates a lot of the stuff that renters leave behind. He has told my DH several times that "I can fix (whatever the item is) it and it will still work or it will still be useful" He also used to hit estate sales like crazy. I think he has at least stopped this practice.

I think Primetime Medical Mysteries talked about hoarding last Wednesday and indicated there is something different about the brains of hoarders. Whatever it is, it is very sad. We will not go to his house and I will NEVER allow my DS to go over there. I haven't been in 2 years any my DH says it is even worse than before. DH has tried to talk to him about it but FIL just doesn't understand the problem.

Years ago someone on here posted a website link to a hoarder's website. It was kind of shocking to see some of the pics. It had a discussion board also for those seeking support and help.I too think it's a type of illness.

Thanks foir all of the great input. When I have some time to sit down later, I am going to check out the hoarder's website. This has been going on for awhile, but now that my dad is retired and home, he is really seeing it more first hand. He is feeling very frustrated because each time he confronts her, she gets very defensive. Thanks again!

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