DH and I are debating over this. He has a friend that he used to work for. This guy saved a lot of money for his son's college well the son turned out to be a drug addict so basically he didn't use the money its sitting in his retirement account right now. Then I'm thinking if I push my kids further enough of getting scholarships (full), military, working part-time to save up for it. I mean why save? Yes it would probably help them in the long run but since we already started off "late" we didn't started off like other parents I know in our area they started from birth. DH is thinking of "saving money" for "other things" like if they want their first car or let say a wedding. He basically told me that if single parents out there can manage to work,take care of a child,and go to school at the same time why not the same thing with the kids? He thinks that if we "save" for their education the kids are going to rely too much on us for providing them money. So they are going to waste them and party if they want too because mommy and daddy is always billing them out. It doesn't teach them responsibilities. I told him that every kids are different but he keep insisting that when they go to college (farther away) they will get influence by their new found friends and stray away from the academic life to a party life. I don't know what to say really. DH has a point though but at the same time being the mommy I want my kids to have something when they go to college. What do you think guys? I am so confuse

I think so...just depends person to person/family to family. We already have our sons college savings saved for them. Both Dh and I went to college and our parents paid for it. We felt it was important to offer that to our children as well.

I've heard/read people say that they think that then their children won't know the value of work or whatever, but that wasn't the case for us at all. I think that's a huge generalization. I think it's a lot more than just paying for college. You have to make sure your kids know the value of things before college, make sure they respect you as parents/adults and education before they get to college. It's an ongoing process imo, from when children are small. You need to give them the right tools and expectations form the start. My parents always told me that my 'job' when I was in college was to do well. They didn't want me to worry about paying for it. They even gave me spending money. They had high expectations for me and my sisters, academically as well as socially and we knew it. But we also knew that they loved us unconditionally. I am so grateful for all the opportunities that they provided for me, and I plan on giving the same to my own children.

Dh and I are both hardworking, both good with money, know the value of what our parents provided for us etc So whatever our parents did for us...worked. We hope to do the same!

I feel it is great if you can but what is MORE important is saving for your Retirement. Think of it this way you can get loans and financing for education at decent enough interest rates. But who will give you a loan so you can retire.
I am trying to set aside something for my children but really it is pretty low on the importance scale. My priorities are in this order paying bills and monthly expences, saving for retirement, paying off CC, Saving an emergency fund, paying off car loan, paying off house, Saving for childs education, paying off my student loan.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I applaud all the college students who have succeeded at paying their own way. I'm not one of those people who could do it. My parents not only didn't save for my college education, they refused to help at all. One year my dad did offer to buy some of my books, after I begged him to help me out. He told me to buy what I needed and he would write me a check for the amount he thought was necessary. He obviously didn't get it. I had no way to buy the books even if I would get re-imbursed later.

After 5 years of struggling - working fulltime, going to college parttime, living in horrible roommate situations because that was all I could find, and battling medical problems because I couldn't afford to take care of them - I gave up. At that point college seemed like a huge waste of time. I walked away with thousands of dollars in student loans that I had to start repaying immediately even though I didn't have the degree that was supposed to get me a higher wage job.

Later on my dad would tell me that, of all his kids, I was the one who would have benefitted most from a college degree. Really? I couldn't tell by the way he was acting when I asked for help.

From my perspective, if you really want to set-up your child to be more likely to get into drugs, partying, and putting college as a low priority, then don't do a thing to indicate how important a college education is to you - and them. Trust me, if you start working at 16 that income seems like BIG MONEY and a college education always seems like a 'some day'.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

DH said that they should "earn" their degree not "give" The kids should feel proud that they accomplish their academic life from scratch.

Hi all!

This is my first post, so I will hopefully do this correctly; if not please bear with me! I have really strong feelings about this one. Let me say that I fully expect my kids to go to college, and encourage that daily (they are now almost 6 & 9). They know that my DH and I put a premium on education and will supoort their efforts to the best of our ability. However, I will not live in poverty in my retirement so that I can sit in my rocker in my still-unpaid-for-home and say, "At least my kids went to college,"!! I graduated from a private womens college where I was about the poorest one at the school, but let me tell you I was among the most motivated! I worked two jobs all summer and every break, and EVERYTHING I made went to tuition and books. I had the worst work-study jobs ever (washing dishes in the cafe & telemarketing prospective students), but ya know what? I NEVER skipped class or started my weekend on a Wednesday, and therefore graduated cum laude, unlike the kids who were there on mom & dad's dime! I realized that because I was paying for this, it was MY investment in MY future, so I better make the most of it! I truly believe that you can (and should) help your kids, but handing over 100 grand (or whatever) so they can "buy" a degree will not help them in the long run! Kids need to see the value of an education by making a significant contribution to it! And they will learn the value of budgeting (a lost art for many college students I know!!) when they graduate and enter the real world of living expenses and paying off student loans!

Sorry for the rant, but in the end, I think it is good to help your kids, but they need to view college as a privilege for the hardworking, not a perk for the loafers!!

I think if you can, great, but if you can't I wouldn't worry about it. We are saving for dd's college, but we are also saving for retirement. That being said, I paid my way through school and everything turned out fine. Honestly, working full time, going to my classes, studying and getting good grades, and also having a full social life were never "too much for me to handle". I thoroughly enjoyed my college years and wouldn't trade them for anything.

I think it really depends on the individual...

i think it would be a sin to let your kids - if they want college or some type of education - to let them rack up tens in thousands of dollars in dept when they are 22,23 then have that debt haunt them for years and years.


there are so many ways to negotiate a way to help your kids out but have them not waste your money. i think its an individual thing - you know your kids best and know their personalities - and work ethic.

I totally agree with this post, especially the statement about people who get their college paid for. Many of my high school and college friends/roommates came from wealthy families and I only knew one who didn't realize the value of having their education paid for. The one exception wasn't the sharpest tack in the box anyway, so her outlook didn't really surprise me much.

I think it is a pretty big generalization to say that just because a person can afford to send their child to school that their children are "loafers" and assume that they are not hard workers...

Comments like that really get under my skin. Our daughters education will most likely be completely paid for, but we certainly aren't raising her to be a loafer, and we also won't be "buying" her an expensive degree...she will earn that herself.