My 6 yr old dd goes to a home daycare provider. The provider's dd's seem to "have it all". They have toys, clothing, shoes, etc from specialty shops in the city (4 hrs. away), all of the latest Disney Channel Character "paraphanalia". They take many weekend trips to the city and go to all of the high profile children's attractions. My worry is, I think my daughter is starting to notice all of this. She has always been a grateful child who does not ask for much. Before now she did not realize what all was out there in the world. Now it seems she is starting to notice all she is missing out on. She has been asking for items and asking lots of questions about all of the places they go to. She accepts my answers that "we cannot afford that right now", etc. with the grace, but, I can see the look on her face It is breaking my heart. I think it would be easier if she threw a raging fit when I told her no. Instead she is accepting and says ok mom and lowers her head and drops the subject. I have seen her looking at some of this other girl's things...like a puppy eyeing a pork chop but it too well trained to grab it. Help!!!! Anyone else go through this???

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Kristy

It's a simple fact of life that you can't always have everything you want, and someone else will always have something you want, or better than you have or more than you have.

I remember going to people's houses as a kid, and I just knew it was a fact that I couldn't have all these things, but, boy, I loved going and playing w/them. It kind of gets compartmentalized: this friend has a trampoline, this friend has Barbies, this one has a pool. Your house, too, will have good things. Perhaps you allow a treat that is not allowed there, or just extra hugs, nice voices, etc. There's something different everywhere. I never remember going to someone's house and thinking, "Wow, they don't have much." The only time I had a problem was if it was dirty - not cluttered - that was fun, but dirt I hated. Of course, most people had more than we did, anyway. But they liked coming to our house because we had huge wooded areas to play in and knew which trees to climb, which berries to eat, etc.

I wouldn't worry too much. I, too, want to take my kids to Disney, like their cousins (who always plead poverty, yet their grandparents pay for the trips), so it's a goal, but my kids are still very fortunate. It's OK to talk with her, but she may not have noticed they have "More", just that they have certain things she likes.

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Make someone's heart smile today.

The Really Needy, Special, Networking and Talking Mod

You are right. I too remember being young and friends wanting to come to my house. We lived in the country and had lots of fun outdoors. My parent's doors were always open to our friends and my mom let us take snacks up to my bedroom and stay up really late!! You are correct that every family has it's pluses. I don't know why it even upset me in the first place. Even if I had lots of money I would not buy all of the junk that is put out there for kids anyway. Just hate seeing dd looking at the Disney's "High School Musical" purse like she has found Santa's workshop, LOL. Of course we have toys at home and she doesn't even play with half of them. Go figure...

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Kristy

I have to wonder, is babysitting really that good business or does her husband bring in a hefty salary?

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:love:

Or... is she financing everything on credit cards?? My best friend's husband makes 2x what mine does, but she spends 3x as much.. 2 cars, furniture, clothes, etc.. it is all financed.

I think that dh makes a decent living and that dh comes from a little money also. Also, I'm sure watching 3 or 4 kids at babysitting rates these days is nothing to sneeze at. Don't get me wrong, they are nice people. I guess I still think of my 6 yr old as my baby. It's difficult for me to know I cannot always protect her from "harsh reality" . I can just see me when it comes to friends hurting her feelings, dating, and all that!!!!!!!!

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Kristy

I used to provide childcare in my home when I was not working outside the home. My husband's salary paid all of our household bills and I cared for children to earn money for our food expenses. It was not a lucrative business, but it helped us make ends meet.

My oldest DD is starting that phase right now too. Especially with her birthday coming up. At least for now she understands we're getting ready to take a week and a half vacation and we need to save our money for that... after that, I don't know what I'm going to do. But I know what you mean about the dropping the head and hanging the shoulders I see that all to often. more than I would like but just something we'll work through.