So I'm on a mission to save as much as possible at the grocery store now, mainly because our monthly expenses are about $600 more than what DH is earning at the moment (We have no CCs, but 3 student loan payments, 2 car payments, and a $1600 mortgage payment). My next task is to go to BJ's with my friend and see if it would be worth getting a membership myself. I have already gotten some coupons in the mail after asking the food companies nicely for them. I always buy generics except for just a few items (like Hershey's chocolate syrup ). If we ever dig ourselves out of this hole and have MORE money coming in than going out...will I ever shop the way I used to? Will I ever buy name-brand things again, or be able to buy a bottle of wine without feeling guilty?? Will I ever be able to enjoy going out to eat and not order only water to drink to save a couple bucks on the tab??? I think I'm doomed to be a penny-pincher for the rest of my life, no matter what our financial situation is!

I don't know if we can answer that for you. We don't know what your future will be, or what you will be able to purchase later on.

The only suggestion I have is to consider looking at it as a challenge or other positive way. I think we all have those days when saving money stinks and we just want to blow it. That's normal, right? But I worry about the word, "doomed". Perhaps if you tried setting goals (whatever goals would work with you and your family), that would help you see that saving money and being frugal allows you to do more? It's worth a shot!

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If you need to get in touch with me, my email is teach1107910@yahoo.com.

I'm raising my hand to say, "No, if you're anything like me, you are most certainly NOT doomed." It is far to easy to fall back into the old spendthrift ways. And, like a chronic dieter, it is even harder to get started back on the wagon when you've already been there.

I have to admit, there is a certain pleasure in living day to day without keeping track of how I'm spending my money. Of course, it was that pleasure that got me into my current situation. I know the self-discipline it will take to change. I have the skills. I have the ability. I just need to get off my duff and do it.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

Okay, so this probably won't take care of the whole $600 defecit, but have you considered consolodating your student loans? I consolodated all of my individual student loans into one, and the payment is now $150 less than what it use to be. Just a thought.

Maybe you could suggest to your friend that you split the cost of the annual membership fee at BJ's and make a shopping trip together once a month or something. You could even split food (buying a case of something and each taking half) or go further and take an afternoon to cook up some meals (enough for both your families) and split them accordingly, like a once-a-month cooking thing. I'd avoid the "doomed" terminology. To do it well, living wisely and frugally is a lifestyle. A dear friend and I were talking about her journey to lose weight just last year. She said that losing the weight wasn't a diet - it was a change of lifestyle. She had to reconfigure how she thought about things, find new things she loved about food and her new way of living. She's happier now, eating healthier, exercising and being wise with her health, than she ever was before when she was just indugling herself in whatever was before her. I think it's kind of the same thing when it comes to living (while managing your finances). In order for it to last and be really successful and happy with it, you have to change your lifestyle. Does that mean you can't go out to eat ever again? No. DH and I are on a tight budget but we squeak in a nice meal out at a restaurant by ordering an appetizer and entree and splitting it between us. Go to restaurants that have bottomless sides and beverages and share (here, Red Robin is an excellent burger joint that has both). Or make it romantic or fun for the family by getting it as carry-out and have a picnic. Bring along your own sodas in a cooler ($2.00 for a cup of soda at the restaurant vs $2.00 for a 12 pk of soda from Aldi's). You can cut your bill in half as compared to an all-out appetizer/entree/beverage/dessert extravaganza. Also, we use restaurant.com for gift certificates to local restaurants. It's not about refusing yourself everything and not experiencing life. It's just learning how to experience it in a different way - with wisdom, joy, and a twist of imagination -- and you won't have to feel the THUD in your stomach a month later when you open up the MASTERCARD bill you used for it all.

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~~Amanda~~ Mommy to one Little Man (3 1/2 yrs old), TTC #2

WE'RE ADOPTING!!!

Wow thats a lot to cut, I can't see it happening unless you do something drastic. 1 student loan consolidation, 2 can you be a 1 car family sell one and use whatever is less to pay off the other. 3 1600 is a decent amount for a morgage can you down size your home to make things meet. $600 is a lot to try and get the budget down by. Yes I think groceries are a great way to save but at the same time they can only be brought down so far. Cut out the wants in your budget. You want to buy soda but it isn't a need. That thing of ice cream sure looks good and its a great sale but you still don't need it. No matter how good the deal not buying it is always less. Another idea that crossed my mind is if you have extra equity you can pull out of your home. Maybe it could help get rid of the car payment even though it means paying more in interest in the long run
Good luck.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I know how bad it looks! We're working on consolidating the student loans, but it's tough to do because they are all private, not federal. Can't really be a 1-car family because DH is working like 65hr/week, Mon-Sat, and his commute is 45 minutes. Nothing is really within walking distance. And believe it or not, our house is about as cheap as they come in NH!! It's a money-pit fixer-upper! Believe me when I say I'm cutting out the "wants" in groceries left and right (and DH is always complaining we have no junk food to much on). We don't have equity because we re-financed last year to pull some money out for DH's work-related necessities. DH is trying to make some money on eBay, and I'm working on getting my own home-based business up and running. I'm hoping to earn $75-$100/week pretty soon here, but it's tough!! I don't think I've ever felt this strangled by financial concerns, especially since we pretty much just wiped out what little savings we had to make this month's mortgage.

Well, what can you eliminate out of your "latte " factor?
Downgrade the cable/satellite to a lower plan
Eat out less and go when it is the early bird specials time-I have the entertainment book and I have saved a ton.
Is your phone plan larger than it needs to be?
Your cellphone plan can go down to a lower plan?

I would also look into the loan consolidation too.

I have a BJ's membership that my family pays for and my whole family gives me a list so they do not need their own. It really is only worth it for the baby stuff and personal products. The rest you can buy on sale with or without a coupon cheaper.

I would purchase cookbooks and get ideas for cheap recipes. I have not just beans and misery meals. Reader's digest gave away the penny pinchers almanac a few years ago and I look at it occasionally.

The year my youngest dd was born money was really tight for us. For that year we went without cable, internet, we only had basic phone service (no long distance) and went without a lot of things- I also went to the food bank for extra groceries for a few months so I knew we would have some food. We changed a lot of our spending habits during that time- I would only buy things on sale, clearance or at the thrift stores- we were able to get a lot of good quality name brand things this way (shoes- they always last longer and so on).

A few years later down the road- we are doing a lot better financially but not as much as we would like however. We now have most of those things we went without but I still refrain from going hog wild in the stores. Like someone else posted that thinking your are doomed will only make it seem that much harder. When we were in our financial dilema (we still have some problems but not as many as 4 years ago- Thank You God!) we did not look at it as doom ( I should actually say I because I was the one who took charge of everything and so on!)- I thought of it as just one of those bumps in the road that life offers you.

All in all I think when things are better financially- if you are smart you will continue to practice some frugal practices- you will know you don't need that purse or outfit to show that you are wealthy or to bring wealth to you! You will know what are good deals and so on. I have always heard that most of the millionaires in this country do not live the extravagant lifestyle. I hope this helps you some and know that this is not the end of you having a decent life- it is a time to learn a new way to approach money, which can be very beneficial to your lifestyle- which I believe is the smarter way to go!

Is this a good cookbook? I have contemplated buying it many times when they have sales on their books. Thanks in advance!