I'm trying to figure out the difference. I have a friend that does have a good heart, but sometimes I feel like it's a mooching situation. She'll ask if I have any of kelsey's old clothes or toys. She'll take what ever you offer her. However, she's very crafty and makes all her gifts, doesn't shop to shop and only buys a very limited amount of clothes for her kids. She said 4-6 outfits for the year.

However, her husband has a very good job, he's an executive for a large banking company in the US. The only bill they have is their mortgage, and utilites, they have no CC, car loans or anything. She doesn't do parties for her kids b-days, doesn't buy furniture for her house. It's almost like she will take whatever people will give her, bedroom furniture, clothes, toys, decorations. I just feel like she's a bit of a moocher!!! But she's very good at heart. Just wondering what the difference is.

Maybe she has a fear of not having enough, so she hoards all her money and is extremely frugal? Dunno???

I don't know. I would consider that frugal.

However, I might take you to lunch for the hand me downs.

I vote for frugal, however the attitude in which she presents the questions would factor into it for me. I don't see a thing wrong in asking without expectation. If she's like a lot of us she'd rather see things get put to use than go to a landfill.

Additionally, for the most part the rich don't get that way by wasting money! You'd be surprised at the penny pinching that people with a large income do.

If she asks with an attitude, or gets mad if you say no, or seemed to expect you to just automatically save things for her and her alone, then I'd start to have a problem with it.

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To me, the definition of a moocher is someone who invites you out to lunch then 'forgets' their wallet. A moocher is a person who always seems to show up at your house right at lunch or dinner time. A moocher is a person who tells you they are coming to town to visit you then makes it known in no uncertain terms that they are planning on staying with you, too. Heck, a moocher is a person who shows up at your doorstep, suitcase in hand, without even calling first (emergency situations aside.) A moocher is someone who asks if they can 'house sit' for you while on vacation and you come home to find your refrigerator empty and long distance phone calls on your bill.

Sounds like your friend has crossed over the line from 'frugal' to 'cheap'. Of course, none of us ever really knows someone else's financial situation so perhaps she has very good reasons for living that way.

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I think taking hand me downs is fine if they are offered, but to ask if you have any is pretty rude in my opinion and does kind of make her a moocher, especially since you know she is not really needy.

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I would never ask for anything from anyone. I think that is where the line is between mooching and being frugal.

I, like your friend, will accept things if I need them when they are offered. I don't do big parties for my kids and don't really shop very much at all. But I consider myself to be frugal.

My dh and I were laughing the other day. We were looking around this house and realised that almost every single thing in it was given to us or purchased used. The only thing we could come up with that we bought ourselves were the kitchen appliances and our couch.

I rethought my answer. I still consider her frugal, but I would NEVER ask for hand me downs in that way. I consider that sort of rude unless she offers a trade in return.

I still vote for frugal.

I feel it's very impolite to ask unless she was extremely needy. Of course taking what people freely offer is fine though. I am surprised that seeing as her husband provides so well wouldn't she have the desire to buy something nice for the kids. I love hand me downs for myself but I buy my kid's mostly new nice things but they are always on sale.It is a Joy for me!

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Crystal Ann

I am surprised that nobody asked how close of a friend she is.

If she is a close friend of yours then I really don't see anything strange about asking for hand-me-downs. If she is just an acquaintance then that might be a little over the line.

I really don't know how her husbands job or salary is relevant to whether or not she "takes whatever people will give her".