Thank you guys for your insite! I feel like I'm rounding a bend, you know, like I can see the finish line. I have been decluttering and plan on having a garage sale tomorrow. I was going through things saying to myself 'why did I buy this?' or 'why did I keep this?'. My Mom died 7 years ago. It's been hard to let go of anything that was hers but I've accepted that things are not her. I have memories and important mementos and that's all I really need.

I think that I do have a 'keeping up with the Jones' mentality. I really don't know why I have it. It's not like it all really matters. When I die I know there's not going to be a checks and balances sheet that says "she had a house with a pool." but it still bothers me a bit. I'm working on it.

Thanks for your responses! It really is reassuring to know that I'm not the only person who obsesses about what I can't have or shops for fun (although, I've made great strides in that department!).

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Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. ~Oscar Wilde

Since I became a SAHM, and lost my salary things have been tight. So where I could go out and do some shopping, or order from someone having a home party, I now need to plan ahead and save. There are days I get some extra money and I do go out and shop. I have stopped buying a lot of junk we do not need, but will treat myself when I can.

I have a large home, we have an acre of property, our cars are 2 and 4 years old. We take a few mini vacations a year. So I do have a good life. I try not to "want" more. I want to reduce the clutter in our home, and teach my kids just because we go into a store it does not mean they NEED to have something new.

My wanting to spend comes from the change in lifestyle we are going through. I don't necessicarily want to keep up with the Jonses, but I miss what I had before. I mean, if I wanted a $100 purse I would treat myself. Now I don't bother looking at them. I stay out of the mall when possible too.

I used to shop for the fun of it, to get out of the house when my oldest son was a baby. We had the money for it back then, but I also got tired of all the "stuff". I don't shop now unless there's something I need. I make a list and try to stick to it, but that's hard sometimes. It's ongoing for me, a work in progress.

My DH makes me hurt for him. My father always gives expensive gifts, for my mothers birthday he gave her a very rare pearl. I was telling DH how nice it is and what he said back hurt me.
He said that he wished he could give me the things my mother has.
The thing is he doesnt realize that has already given me so much more than they had when they were our age. When we were little my parents didnt have a dime, but now that they dont have kids at home they have "spair" money. IT takes time to get to a place in your life where you can have the extra things. Our generation doesnt care about that, they just want it all now. We resently cut back our life style and I have never been happier. The sooner tha everyone realizes that were are all just trying to keep up with eachother we can all get on with our lives.