In my family we long ago decided to not buy for my parents or them for us and we draw names or do a really cheap Chinese gift auction for my extended family (like 5-10 dollar gifts). Well, with DH's family we still buy for all the kids. There's six total that we buy for and DH just doesn't think this is a big deal. We usually spend around 15-20 dollars on them. I asked him to mention drawing names so we would only be buying 2 and could get nicer presents and still come out cheaper. He just doesn't see buying for 6 as a big deal. Am I just overreacting?? I would rather spend the money on my own kids or put it into savings.
(I want to note we only see these children at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes at birthday parties!!!)

ETA: We also buy for his grandparents and his parents as well which I think we shouldn't do either!!
Just call me Scrooge I suppose!

Do you do all the shopping? My guess is that he isn't considering the money spent on those 6 gifts at all, and doesn't see it as a big deal, because it doesn't really affect him. That's how my husband was, until he realized that not only were we buying for our own 2 children, but my 2 nephews and his 7 nieces and nephews...it really added on fast!! He never realized why I was always grumpy about it all the time....simply because I did all the shopping, spending, and wrapping!! Now we simply buy for our parents and that's it!! It's been so nice, and we're able to spend that extra $150-200 we would have spent on the nieces and nephews, on something special for the whole family, or we put it towards our twins' birthday party! My advice would be to either bring up drawing names yourself, or tell him to do the shopping, and wrapping himself! Good luck!

__________________
~*~ Angie~*~
Wife to Brian
SAHM to Sarah & Andy 2/11/2000

Me and my DH used to have big issues with something similar a few years ago (I did convince his family to do a grab bag for the family and cut back a lot on the $ amount for the kids- there is only 3 to buy for).

If your husband is not entirely on the boat with cutting back on what you do with the kids- save a receipt and show him what you spent on Christmas for just his family (I did this to DH- since the only one he would buy a present for is me- and that is only on occassion!). If he insists on buying something for every kid in his family- maybe try to scale back the amount even more- maybe buy a cheap dvd for each one- get the girls a little basket with perfumes and lip glosses (from the dollar store) and the boys maybe a thing with car or whatever they like. Or you can talk to your SIL's during Thanksgiving and see what they think- the perfect opportunity to pick the names if they agree with you!

I know about that. What I do is start shopping the day after Christmas for the next year. We buy for 4 kids that we only see once a year! I try to buy a gift valued between $15 & $20 but only spend around $5 each (thank you Target). So far I have been able to do this. I keep a list with me so I know who I have bought for.

Now, we do buy for his three neices & nephew and we spend more on them. I am going to talk to dh & sil this year about reducing what we spend there. I know she is really watching her budget this year and we are too. I think the spending at Mil's needs to be reduced dramatically, for all of us!!

I have TEN nieces & nephews! I completely understand! Something funny, I was so frustrated buying for all of these kids (with DH wanting to keep it up) until one day me and my sisters were talking (7 of them are on this side) and realized that they were sick of it too...and no one wanted to say anything to the other!! They said their children get SO many toys at Christmas time, they want to cry when the holiday is done looking at them thinking "where are we going to put these??" So we decided to stop----yeah!

Try talking to their parents at Thanksgiving and see if they are thinking the same thing!!

I had the same problem with my DH family. There is our 3 kids and 9 nieces and newphews to buy for. I finally just stopped buying for all the other kids. We just flat out couldn't afford it. Now my husbands side of the family buys for just their kids. Its hard enough buying for my own 3 kids. We now just have a skating party, or whatever the kids want to do, instead of gifts. It has worked out very well and the stress is totally gone! My husband and I have raised our 3 daughters that xmas isn't about gifts. On birthdays instead of people bringing them gifts they have them bring canned food and we all go down to our local food shelter together. Of course my girls get gifts from us and grand parents. My daughters really love helping other families in need. Some people have gave us some strange looks. Believe me though my kids have everything they need and want.

__________________
Kalen


Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

I wish we would either draw names or each parent would just buy something for their own child and bring it! But at the same gathering the kids get presents from their great aunts and uncles as well as the grandparents so even if we didn't do anything they'd have PLENTY!