Gift giving, stopping the insanity - Page 2

skimommy · 11-09-2007, 08:12 AM

I guess, I understand your point about spending so much money on token gifts, but like your mother, I think people like to be recognized as being someone of importance in your life. For those people, a gift or a card says that -- I guess it is many people's "language of love".

Marlene

Don't feel bad for my mother. Long story short, she is lucky I let her be a part of my children's life. Otherwise I wouldn't speak to her.

georgia mom · 11-09-2007, 08:12 AM

Our families are very close, so I always send out cards on birthdays to my mom,sister,sil,etc... To some people it is important and makes them feel loved. We do set a limit on christmas gifts for the family though. I could never quit giving any presents, I would make homemade gifts if we were not able to purchase things.

marrobinson · 11-09-2007, 09:19 AM

"Don't feel bad for my mother. Long story short, she is lucky I let her be a part of my children's life. Otherwise I wouldn't speak to her.[/quote]

Oops -- wrong person to use as an example!!!!

Marlene

brensmom · 11-09-2007, 09:21 AM

we have cut back over the years and i'm hoping next year to stop exchanging with fils side of the family we only do kids and there are 6 and i got really good deals this year so it was not bad but i see these kids 2 times a year so i'm gonna broach the subject at christmas this year. then we will be down to my nieces and nephews and my kids and both our parents. i do like to send out cards to the people we don't see all year round with a family letter to let then know what we have been up to this year. its only 20 cards and i get a photo and last year on winkflash i got 50 photo christmas cards for 12 bucks so i don't think that is bad. i would rather send out the cards than do the gifts.

queenboxtop · 11-09-2007, 09:37 AM

For my mom, mil, fil, dad, bil's , etc. I make a cake (my hobby) and we have dinner or lunch together. They have to eat and it doens't cost me much to do. We spend time together and talk or play wth neices and nephews, etc. My children like to make cards and that is their present to give.

The kids do get a present though along with dinner and a cake. We just have downsized for the adults.

Jeweled · 11-09-2007, 02:29 PM

I love love love love cards. I love to send them and I love to recieve them. Back in the day when both dh and I were working and had no kids, one of my favorite places was the Hallmark store. Now, I get the .99 ones at the grocery store when they're BOGO. I send them to all the relatives for birthdays.
My family has never been big on gifts. I do get my mother a token birthday and Christmas gift -- usually a plant. There are four children on that side of the family who get gifts from us.
Dh's family, on the other hand, prefers lavish, expensive gifts. And lots of them. (I really don't know why. I know most of them can't afford that stuff.) THere are only two little ones on that side of the family.
We don't exchange gifts with adults.
I used to make a theme box of goodies for extended family. Usually I chose a children's book or a song and made two or three edible treats. For example, a pretty print of an Italian Christmas carol along with pizelles and a panetone and maybe something else. If we did exchange gifts with adults, I would request edible or at least homemade items. To me that seems so much more meaningful than the stuff from a dollar store or some generic appliance.

skimommy · 11-09-2007, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marrobinson

"Don't feel bad for my mother. Long story short, she is lucky I let her be a part of my children's life. Otherwise I wouldn't speak to her.

Oops -- wrong person to use as an example!!!!

Marlene[/quote]

No problem

Almost everyone has family drama.

The point of the thread was to talk about spending less on gifts. I chose not to spend so much money on all of these gifts and cards for environmental and monetary reasons. I do still acknowledge holidays and occasions with a phone call or family gathering.

Adda15 · 11-11-2007, 09:49 AM

I still buy for a ton of a people at Christmas but it's almost a hobbie for me. I shop all year around and try to get the most bang for my buck, BUT making sure it's something that the receiver would enjoy.
We don't do store bought cards anymore either or gifts for birthdays (between my Mom, Dad and siblings). We also don't send cards for any occasion really except for Christmas.
My feeling is that if you don't want to give a gift, or if circumstances prevent it then you shouldn't be obligated...but, if the other person wants to give you one, accept it with thanks and a smile.

Amber03 · 11-11-2007, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlscoutmom

gifting is not my love language and some people in my family have a VERY hard time understanding this. They feel like if they don't get something, I must be mad at them. No... I'm mad at myself for wasting money on cards and gifts that end up in your garage sale thankyouverymuch.

We do not exchange gifts with any adults. We stopped this a couple years ago, and I know the inlaws are still bent about it. THey didn't appreciate being told how to run thier holidays when I suggested we stop exchanging gifts. I tried suggesting budget limits, no onelistened. I tried other suggestions of drawing names. No one would do it. I tried suggesting only an ornament exchange, or a cookie exchange. no one wanted any part of that. I told them they are free to spend thier money any way they want to, but we will come after the gift exchange and enjoy conversation and dessert.

I mean really, everyone has everything they could possibly need or want, and if they don't- they go out and buy it forthemselves right then. I just want to be with people, have conversation, maybe play a card game or video game, eat yummy food. Why does there have to be gifts involved? there doesn't .. and I refuse to be part of that. I've unplugged the christmas machine. Only kids get gifts.

That is how I want it to be as well. Christmas should not be about gifts, getting in debt and trying to rush around to get everything everybody wants. I want to just give to the kids as well.

crazykelly · 11-12-2007, 12:49 AM

my sis in law and i have come to a wonderful truce - we do not buy for each others kids unless we will be with them for the event. she lives in the midwest and im here in the east coast and well, its silly. so she and i send cards to the kids but unless we are face to face with the kids , we dont exchange presents

I LOVE IT!!!!! finally some sanity in my world.