There have been several posts about what to do about exchanging gifts over the holidays. I posted that we are only buying for the kids and doing a stocking for each other. We do not plan on buying anything for anyone else. This is the first year for this.

Taking it a step further, except for our children, I did not buy birthday, mother's day, father's day, grandparents day, Easter cards, Valentine's cards EITHER. My mom is insulted by my decision with her hand out for something even though I said we weren't doing it. They really don't NEED anything and I feel like I'm throwing money away. I did invite them over for dinner and made cupcakes for birthdays and Easter. I refuse to buy cards that either collect dust or get thrown away.

Has anyone else decided to stop the insanity with the gifts?

No, I have to do something, even if it is just having the kids make homemade cards. Everyone likes to be remembered and I love giving gifts!

__________________
~Happiness is a large family~

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. James 1:19

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24

I only give gifts at x-mas to my Mom and Step-dad. I call them on B'days. My DF moves around so much I rarely speak to him around holidays (unless he needs money, then he calls me ). DH's parents are not on speaking terms with us anymore so we do not buy for them. As far as my family, everyone feels they have enough unless it is something in particular we want, like last year for x-mas my Mom wanted an electric skillet, so that was her gift. DH and I still do gifts but lately, I give him things for his car he is currently rebuilding (he would buy them anyway) and he gets me things for the house that I would eventually buy. So only the kids still get a "real" x-mas and B'day. And that is coming to an end since they are almost grown. They are only getting 1 or 2 things that they REALLY want this year, since we are trying to save money since I am not sure where the economy is going.

I have stopped buying any greeting cards and just call people on their birthdays or whatever. Last year we didn't buy any presents for anyone else, and DH and I just spent $20 on each other. I think this year is going to be the same way. I love giving gifts when we can, but it is just not possible right now, and we refuse to go into debt for gifts.

__________________
Trust God. Whatever risk there is in doing so, the risk of not trusting in him is far greater. - Spurgeon

gifting is not my love language and some people in my family have a VERY hard time understanding this. They feel like if they don't get something, I must be mad at them. No... I'm mad at myself for wasting money on cards and gifts that end up in your garage sale thankyouverymuch.

We do not exchange gifts with any adults. We stopped this a couple years ago, and I know the inlaws are still bent about it. THey didn't appreciate being told how to run thier holidays when I suggested we stop exchanging gifts. I tried suggesting budget limits, no onelistened. I tried other suggestions of drawing names. No one would do it. I tried suggesting only an ornament exchange, or a cookie exchange. no one wanted any part of that. I told them they are free to spend thier money any way they want to, but we will come after the gift exchange and enjoy conversation and dessert.

I mean really, everyone has everything they could possibly need or want, and if they don't- they go out and buy it forthemselves right then. I just want to be with people, have conversation, maybe play a card game or video game, eat yummy food. Why does there have to be gifts involved? there doesn't .. and I refuse to be part of that. I've unplugged the christmas machine. Only kids get gifts.

I like how you put 'gifting is not my love language'.

hi- thanks actually the term "love language" comes from a book I'm sure I read at one time. I think by Gary Chapman?? anyway, there are 5 different types of love languages, and while I don't remember the rest, I do remember the gifting one- basically, people show thier love for other by giving them "things" rather than time.

I LOVE Xmas!! I give gifts but I also start shopping in January!! I am usually done by Sept. I could not even imagin not giving my Mom a gift for her B-day, Mother's day or Xmas... She raised Me and made sure I always had gifts on the Holidays, even when she had to work extra hours to do it! As far as cards go, the prices are outrageous, I make my own hand made cards, a lot nicer then store bought ones..

__________________
http://mommysavers.com/boards/journa...wjournal&j=110


If you tell your secrets to the wind... Don't be mad if it tell's the trees.

Cards -- I make them on the computer. I like to send them as an acknowlegement of a special day, but it would make me ill to spend the money for store-bought cards!

Gifts -- There are some people who have been very generous to me throughout the year. I like to give them something at Christmas to show my appreciation. For people who have everything, I try to give cookies or at the most, a restaurant gift card.

My personal gift-giving problem is that we have family in town who we only see at Christmas. We all pretend that we are one happy family for the day, and then we go our separate ways. I hate exchanging gifts with these people, because it seems so shallow!

I am trying to buy/make more consumable gifts. I think we ALL have more than we need, really. I appreciate receiving cookies from friends that I can serve to company around Christmas, so I think others might too. My neice and nephews all have MP3 players, so a gift card to download music works there. And, who doesn't like an occasional trip to a restaurant?

I guess, I understand your point about spending so much money on token gifts, but like your mother, I think people like to be recognized as being someone of importance in your life. For those people, a gift or a card says that -- I guess it is many people's "language of love".

Marlene

I think alot of it all boils down to the relationship you have with your family and their personalities.
To me cards are pointless, and quite meaningless. But to my MIL they are special. So I will hit the dollar store take the time to pick one out for her and hand deliver it. It's only $.50 and it makes her happy, which in turn make me happy.
she is a great Mil, mom, and grandmother so to not give her anything for Mother's day, birthday and etc. would be just plain rude. even if it's just cooking her dinner or baking her a cake. Something special is in order.
My family are not sentimental, are not close, and we only see each other once a year and it seemed to be just to collect gifts. So I announced the only kids exchange this year. But knowing me and not being able to go empty handed I will probably make a little fudge or something to take with.

__________________
"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous