I'm in a gift giving pickle... - Page 2

Kim · 11-13-2007, 12:51 PM

I agree to search for the book used. eBay is another option. Or, post the title in our Online Bargains forum to see if our mods/members can help you in your search.

I don't think you should feel obligated to spend more than you can afford. I'd get the $10 book if it is in your budget and then get something else to go with it that you can afford (or a nice homemade gift).

allgirls · 11-13-2007, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momof2boys in il

This does sound like a sticky situation.....Have you tried talking to your parents and telling them that you and DH have decided that you are cutting back on X-mas this year due to the cost of gas and everythign going up in price. Explain to them that you wanted to give them a gift revolving around the kids, something that they will cherish? My parents would be thrilled to get something home-made. Unfortunately, my parents don't have a computer, so the mousepad idea isn't a good one. Good luck, and I hope you get a resolution that everyone can live with.

I would buy the one $10 book and tell him you just can't afford anything else right now. It doesn't matter and shouldn't matter what he sacrificed for you, that was his job. So are you willing to tell your children , "sorry but I couldn't afford to buy you gifts because I had to buy grandma his presents." that is what you are doing. I would hope your dad would feel the same.
allgirls

mommytosa · 11-13-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by as143ks

You're right Bren I know I need to just suck it up and tell him no. Then I feel guilty because he sacrificed so much for my sis and I and I feel bad. Oh the guilt! I know I shouldnt feel obligated but I do..

Did his parents do this to him? If they sacrificed for you, then they should understand that you are sacrificing for your child as well. Tell him you can get him one of the books if you want to stick to his list, otherwise tell him you have already bought his gift and it is nonreturnable because it is personalized.

Honestly, my Dad is well off & he doesn't expect a thing from us for Christmas or birthdays. He knows we are on a tight budget and he doesn't want us spending our money on him. He'd rather spend his money on us!

Adda15 · 11-13-2007, 03:50 PM

I'm not sure how much a mug and mousepad combo would be, but where I live, it would be at least $20.
Would it be possible for you to buy the more expensive book, possibly on sale, and leave it at that? At least it would be something he wanted, and not too far outside your budget.
Good luck. It's not a nice position to be in.

queenboxtop · 11-14-2007, 11:00 AM

Would he use a mouse pad or a mug? I know if I got one then they would just sit and gather dust (so it would be a waste of your money). I do think the list that you didn't ask for is tacky, but at least you will be getting him something he wants. Have you talked to your sister? Maybe she is feeling the same way.

I am suggesting one of the books with a note of all your Dad means to you. That should be one of the best gifts you could give him and tell him you just can't afford to spend alot this year. But you love him and want to give him something he would like.

Jeweled · 11-14-2007, 01:39 PM

If you can find a new-looking used version, he'll never know the difference. You can also give him some of the personailized things you had in mind.
If, as you said, he sacrificed a lot for you and your sister, he should be able to understand the sacrifice you are now making for your own family.
If he is a religious person (just guessing because he asked for a religious book) he should be reminded that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of the Savior, not about buying the right gift.

beautifulbabies · 11-14-2007, 01:59 PM

At this point I would buy him what he asked for but next year I would tell him way in advance that you were cutting back.

sahmommyuv3 · 11-14-2007, 02:20 PM

I think it is very rude for him to have any expectation for you to spend money on him. That's just silly to me. I would be up front and just tell him that you can only get what you can afford. I'd still look for a bargain on a used book for the one you can't afford, but if you tell him in advance, at least you were up front. Sometimes it's family that gives each other such a hard time!

SAHMto3boys · 11-14-2007, 03:03 PM

Try looking down the road - you love your baby, right? 20+ years from now, do you want him to have to break his budget to buy you a Christmas gift? No, I'm assuming not!

Buy him both books ONLY if you can afford it! If not buy him one and maybe add a little something like the mug or mousepad (but only if he'll use them)! If he mentions it, just tell him that you'd already bought the mug or mousepad OR just tell him the other book was over your budget!

LJGZsmom · 11-14-2007, 03:14 PM

I totally understand that he is your father and you want to get what he wants. But don't fell guilty because he did so much for you. THAT IS WHAT A PARENT IS SUPPOSSED TO DO!!! I can not believe he would give you a list anyway. I know it is hard, but simply tell him you are cutting back and this year only getting for the kids. Or go ahead and get the cheaper of the two books and be done. He should be happy and grateful for anything at all. Christmas is about GIVING not getting.

We have never bought for our parents. They don't want that. They want us to spend it on the kids. And we don't want anything from them. I would rather they spoil the grandkids.