Hello, I was just wondering if any of you have gone through periods with very little money, even for food, and nothing for entertainment, and fell into a depression.

The reason I ask is because I have no money, and it's starting to take it's toll on me. I work 6 days a week, and although I have some friends from work, the only activities they do is going out to fancy restaurants for 30 dollar suppers with 10 dollar martini's. While I would like to do this every once in a while, I don't have the money, and if I did, I really don't think I could justify the expense.

I go to the library every weekend and check out movies, books and dvd's for free, but it's just not the same as going out with the girls for dinner and a movie night. I live in a tiny studio aparment, so I can't bring anyone over to entertain, so it seems like my social life is disappearing.

The food situation is not bad, but the lack of variety and small portions is making me irritable and sad. I went through this when I was a child, when we were very poor, and I can't beleive after putting myself through college, landing a good job and working part-time on top of it, I'm back to where I was trying to get out of.

I'm just wondering if any of you suffer from this, because of your financial situation? My mom said it's just the "blues' and everyone goes through it sometimes, but I feel like because of lack of money, the best years of my life are going to pass me by...

This did not happened to me but I can see how hard this is for you. Having a social life is very important. How about making new friends away from work. Maybe join a free activity in your area or doing some volunteer work.

When I became a SAHM last year our household income diminished and my life changed greatly. I had to motivate myself but made new friend that are SAHM like me. It helps to have friends that live the same experiences, that way you can share. I can see that when the kids will be in school I will need to find some new activities. I'm thinking about joining a reading club (free at the library) or a walking group (also free).

Good luck,

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Marie - SAHM of DS Benjamin (april 2004) and DD Rose (march 2006).

Ellelit,

To answer some of your questions - yes, I've been depressed (in the past) about lack of money. I hated it. Nobody likes to feel deprived.

I hope you will not take my post the wrong way, but I cannot help but ask you some questions.

Why are you willing to stay at a job that pays you peanuts? I really don't understand how someone with a college degree isn't making more money (and I know where you live - not your address, but town). You aren't far from me. I make far more money than you are making (and I don't have a degree - YET). Victoria is FAR from the land of opportunity, but I'm sure it is comparable to Nanaimo as far as pay goes (probably a little higher, but it is also more expensive to live here so it likely evens out)? I think you could land a job making far more in your own town, but if not I would seriously consider moving. Nice scenery and good climate doesn't pay the rent. If I didn't have family ties (I'm from here) and my daughter to think about, I would have been off to Alberta YEARS age. I didn't want to rip my daughter away from her stability and support system (extended family). That is the only thing keeping me here.

I consider myself UNDERPAID. I know I could walk out the door from my job and be making at least $20 per hour somewhere else right away (which would be about a $3 raise - pretty substantial). I've stayed for almost 8 years out of loyalty, etc (which doesn't put bread on your table). I like my boss, but I do plan to leave sometime this year. I'm back in college working on my accounting degree (whichh pays huge once you get your credentials).

I'm not sure what work you do, but I'm doing basic bookkeeping and other office type duties. I know that when I leave this job it will be to do more accounting type stuff (which I enjoy), and it pays well.

You have a degree. I'm not sure what your degree is in, but I do know that almost any degree should help your earning powers. Are you not very confident about seeking new work? Is something else holding you back? Sometimes I lack the confidence to seek a job that pays better (as if I don't deserve it), so I'm wondering if that may be true for you?

Not really but I do feel envious of those who are getting things when I never can. I make a great effort to go out and do things with the girls. Lots of mom's nights in (less expensive by far) Lots of in home play dates. Still money plays a big factor in what activities I go to. Having a lot of friends (i found them through Meetup.com) is a big help. When I do stay home all day with just DD yes I am depressed I can't justify going out alone, or buying things I don't need or starting projects that cost money. Part of it is also this time of year Spring and Summer I will go for lots of walks and get out even more. Winter alone makes me feel confined.
I have found lots of activities that are free I go to evening knitting groups twice a week. One is at a yarn shop and is free. The owner provides Tea and Coffee and cookies and whats more I am getting out and doing something that doesn't cost me anything.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I actually thought I made ok money lol...I have just finished school, with a degree in English and creative writing. In my one job, I make $11.00 an hour, and my second job I make $8.60...so I bring home about $1600 a month. It's the $700 student loan payment that kills me.

Yes, we have run out completely out of money twice (well three times but twice since we've been married and once before). Not enough money for food even. Each time I also went through a depression. It's hard to deprive yourself for so long.

One of the things that helped me was focusing on how much I was paying off debts (mine were student loans as well). I set up a chart in excel (now google documents is free and better than excel) and set up a chart to show my student loan payments and how much I was progressing towards paying it off. I tried to get excited and enthusiastic about frugality instead of focusing on feeling deprived. I tried to encourage myself by encouraging others by sharing some of the crazy ways I learned to save money.

If you find you are depressed enough that it is effecting your day to day life and your quality of work, please go to the Dr. to have it checked out. There is nothing to be ashamed about. I've been through a number of bouts with depression and your Dr. will have seen it before. It does not make you weak. It makes you human.

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Def. talk to the Dr. Also, call your student loan people and work out a smaller payment. You can even do a hardship deferment if you can't afford any payment at all. They are usually quite willing to work with you.

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Make someone's heart smile today.

Just a book suggestion here, " The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Dacyczyn (pronounced like decision). When things are super tight around here financially i get out my copy of this and start reading it.

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"Go on, get outside, get the stink blown off ya!!"

There are some great suggestions up there but I also wanted to add that getting outside (especially during winter months) does wonders when the weather allows for it. And going for a walk always is free!

I agree - stretching it from 7 years ($60k/$700 per month = 7 years) to 8 years would decrease your payment to $600/month, giving you an extra $100 every month. One may think $100 wouldn't go far, but it does! Explain to them that you're barely making your living expenses and that if you continue to go at this rate, you aren't sure if you'll be able to make the payments on time and in full. They want to be paid and you want to do the right thing and pay them; you're compromising and giving yourself, see if they can give a little too.

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