My DH is a spender too! He doesn't try to overdo it, but he does. He actually went to Gander Mountain the other day and came home all crabby - said he had a basket full of stuff and then he stopped and thought about it and realized he didn't NEED any of it so he put it back; was all mad that I was getting into his brain - ha ha.

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Sometimes love lasts a lifetime. Somtimes love lasts a moment. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.

I can't help you either, My dh is horrible with money. He will stop at mcdonalds for breakfast, they go out to lunch and where he works there are no cheap places it's a ritzy area with expensive cafe's. Then he'll stop for gas and buy junk food and soda which he could've taken from home. Anyway he won't follow a budget, he won't listen, he won't take cash-well he will and it will be gone in 2 days then he'll pull out the check card. This is probably the only problem in our marriage. I've really built up alot of resentment towards him b/c of his ways. I mean I'm here at home sacraficing and eating pb and jelly and he's getting orange chicken at Pf Changs. UGGUHHHH We fight about this alot, he says he understands how i feel, why don't I go to starbucks! he doesn't get it at all!

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I am only one, but I am one. I can not do everything, but I can do something. I must not fail to do the something that I can do. -Edward Hale

my dh doesn't spend money without asking me, because I do the budget, unless he's has no choice. If he DOES spend money without asking me first, it's something like grapes and he tells me soon as he gets home. I don't expect him to "ask permission" to spend his own money, but I do more or less insist that he talk to me about it first because I am the only one that knows where our budget stands. I pack dh's lunch, and usually have him something for breakfast or he eats a bowl of cereal before he leaves to go in. However, my Dad was like that. He HAD to have money in his pocket at all times, even if it meant robbing Peter to pay Paul. His was because he was born into hardship and poverty though. My step mom alloted him so much, and then put the rest of the money into a account he didn't have access to because he didn't have good control over spending....

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Boy, I guess I am really lucky. Both DH and I are really frugal. Of course with me not working we have stepped it up several notches. We only have $25 for eating out in a month. A couple of months ago, dh would go out for lunch w/coworkers after the staff meeting. A lot of times the boss will pay but not always. I would get so frustrated with him b/c to me that was taking away from our ability to go out on a "date". He hardly ever goes out to eat except when his expense account covers it. That is still hard for me It gets so old eating leftovers or sandwiches.

But he surprised me!!! We had been talking about going away overnight and leaving the kids w/grandparents. I finally was able to stop nursing dd a little over a month ago - she just wouldn't take a bottle!! Anyway...we are going away this afternoon - using our vacation budget that we save for every month.....:D

This is not an issue at our house...

thanks for all of you posting your thoughts and own dilemmas w/ this topic- I guess I have to take control and tell him, "Look, you can't spend what you don't have and that's the end of it". My biggest fear is having to work outside the home AGAIN... and him not helping...much w/ the house and kids and other responsibilities of adult life. Just wish he would be more supportive about me staying home, ya know, see the bright side ( its bigger than the dark). Thanks for all your help!

I have the same problem. I stay home and sacrifice. My husband likes his "little things" like cable and sodas and doesn't know how to wait. He is the breadwinner so he says he will spend the money how he likes. I tried doing the money, but it made him feel manipulated and made me upset trying to keep him happy. I found the best thing is to go hands off and let it catch up to him. Let HIM have the stress of making ends meet. Someday, he will see that "things" are not near as important to waste our time and finances on. I have noticed that when I worked, we had the same problem of coming up short. I also don't want to work outside the home again and give up the simplicity. Since finances are a huge issue and I want my husband to take the lead and make the right decisions in money matters himself, I have turned the matter over to our pastor who is counseling us with our marriage. I would suggest if you are a member of a church and trust your pastor that you go to him for counseling. It is very demeaning to a man to have a woman tell him how to spend the money if he has not specifically asked for the wife's help. You want a good marriage and a strong man. That will also make for a happier wife when you are not taking on a responsibility God never really intended for the wife to shoulder.

My dh does not spend money. I am the spender (which I am trying to work on) Dh buys gas and pays for golf (but he belongs to 2 courses and that is figured into our budget-so it is only whne he plays other courses, which is usually only to practice for a tournement )that is it. He once in a while gets something from the dollar menu at McD, but not very often. When he wants something, he tells me and last week that was pickles and stuff to make chicken ceasar wraps (because he wouldn't pay an outragous price for one at a resturant)

Oh constantly!! To the point I had to take away his debit card and hide the checkbook. He the the reason we have CC debt, he maxed out 2 cards on NOTHING. On day I checked online our bank acct and he had spendt $193 on NOTHING. I mean nothing! He went to Walmart, The supermarket, Napa, there were withdrawels, and some other things, McDs, ect. That was the day I had it, and took his cards away, cut up the rest. He is just aweful!

Since that day, he has had a wakeup call, and really hasn't been too bad. He still annoys me when I find a debit charge or wirtes a check without checking with me first, but for the most part, he is MUCH better. And he always complained *I* spent too much money, LOL! Well I *KNOW* how much we have to spend, I don't just take the card and go crazy with it. I buy groceries, stuff for the kids, and try to save money to take them out.

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~Missy~Mommy
Meghan7.Samantha6,Cameron4

Back together!! Sept 28th Boston TDCenter!! Woohooooo!

We must all have the same husband. Because I work nights and he works days there are times when we don't see each other for a few days at a time. He takes the check book and forgets to write it in. A few months ago we bounced a few checks With all the fees we got behind. ( we were behind already so now we are really behind) With Christmas and kids birthdays coming up I don't know how we are going to do it.
I have tried to do the budget thing in the past. I looks good on paper but it never seeems to work that way. ( Cars break down , ds fell broke front tooth, ect.) We don't have money for the unexpected. And dh seems to think if there are checks in the checkbook he can write a check
I am at my whits end trying to figure it out.

tiredmom