I think that there's very many different scenarios that both parts of the argument (allowence, no allowence) would fit upon. My situation, for instance - Aprox. five years ago, dh was greatly financially irresponsible and thought as though our cash levels would never exhaust. Quite frankly, I wasn't about to let that happen. I had to put a halt to the situation for a greater good, and in accordance to our scenario, the "allowence" method was by far a lifesaver. Now my husband's developed a savings culture, he's 100% responsible for his expenditures and recognizes that "things" don't control us. I can now say that he's an accountable and financially astute individual, that carries his own weight and invests in accordance to our financial disposition - however, he's still extremely comfortable toting a $20 bill. Though I can't argue for the opposite side, best wishes to all the women that have a financially inept individual for a mate, and that hopefully he will someday be as compromising as mine

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You must be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

Personally, I don't think I could feel comfortable in that sense. But, I have never been in a position that required that kind of action (allowance). My husband was fairly understanding, and really got that it was beneficial for both of us. I don't know how I would react if he ignored my efforts to make our home/lifestyle more efficient (moneywise). I would feel completely disrespected, I know, but I don't what exactly I would do about it. Now, if he felt that it was "his" money, and was unmoving on the subject for a long time (years), I would probably say, "see ya!" and "why don't we let the state decide whose money it is!?" (If I could be that ballsy :0). That ("his" money thing) just sounds horribly selfish and uncaring. Not to mention juvenile. I feel really bad for those of you who have to deal with that, and I hope somehow you can get the issue resolved.

I do agree with the "greater good" concept that those of you who do the allowance thing use, but I just wouldn't feel good about it (the allowance part). But - I wouldn't feel comfortable being completely in control of the finances either - it is OUR money. We do it together. I do say good for you for stepping up and doing what you need to do and not letting it ruin your finances!

JMO - I don't want to offend anyone. Different things work for different people, and I am not one to judge!

may be what is offputting. In my household we both have an "allowance." I consider it money we are "allowed" to spend without worrying about the consequences of spending it. When we came up with our "allowances" it was based upon our sitting down and discussing both our long term goals for our finances. Having an allowance allows us to occasionally treat ourselves in the short term so we don't feel cheated while saving for the long term. The simple fact is without an allowance either one of us would get sidetracked and there would be no way for us to achieve the bigger things that we wish for. I do agree that any "allowances" ought to be mutually agreed upon rather than something just meted out by one spouse over another.

I Don't think Any Of Us are actually saying the words

" Heres Your Allowance Honey , take it or Leave it. "

My DH and I Are a team too.

A Team Player Needs to Point out Other Players Strength and Weaknesses.

So If I Am Here IN Charge of the checkbook and bill paying ( My Job ) and DH Is out there , Spending a Little Here and a Little there. I need To Say ," This has got to Stop." As do All women who are having this Problem.
The term allowance is a Joke for Us. Not a Serious Thing I Say.
In Reality , Instead of My Dh nickel and Diming Away on the Debit card all week.

I Stop every Wednesday Afternoon at the Bank , and I Withdrawl His " Money For the Week" Of 60.00 -

He knows He Gets His Cash every Wednesday Night in his Basket ( Where He throws His Cell phone) And I Know that I Only need to Budget in 240.00 Per Month For His Weekly 60.00 .

If that is Not the way every Ones team plays than that is fine. Every Marriage is Different and Not everything Works out For every Couple.
It Does Not Mean that We Play , My money , Your Money or that We Aren't on the same Page. For the Most Part . It means we Must Keep each other in line.
I Have my Weaknesses that Dh has Put his Foot down About too.