Ok, here's my problem, and I could use some suggestions.

My SO and I are expecting our first baby pretty soon and despite my efforts to have one baby shower centered around our combined families, I have had two and my supervisor @ work is planning one for me at a very expensive restaraunt and invited everyone I work with.

I would NEVER complain about all of the wonderful gifts that we've recieved, our friends and family have been especially gracious and we basically are going to start out needing nothing at all. However, return invitations have already started coming in for birthday parties, housewarmings, weddings, etc. I do feel obligated to at least do something for each, but I'm limited on how many I can afford to attend. My SO and I have some money set aside specifically for gifts, but more often than not, if we need an extra $20 for the light bill or gas...guess where it comes from?

So, for a while, we've been trying to spend less on gifts in general. The last two gifts we have given were for my best friend's 4-yr-olds bday and his grandparents b-day. We split the cost of his grandparents' present with the rest of the grandchildren and I made my friend's daughter a jewelry box out of craft things I already had (still today I called and she was carrying it around with her plastic bracelets in it ). I have an invitation to my second-cousin's 5th birthday on Sunday and I don't know what to get him. I'd like to make him something, but I don't have any ideas....

So that's what I need help with: a frugal gift for a 5 year old boy and advice on how to deal with all of the invitations that imply a gift is expected...with no $$ to spend on the lady who works in a different office alltogether from me but sent me a $50.00 gift card with her regrets that she couldn't be at my shower....

That is a tough feeling, the need for gifts you can't afford.

If it's any help, I can say that I have given many, many gifts at baby showers and hosted baby showers without ever receiving gifts in return, or expecting them, or ever even thinking about it again until now!

You can find children's gifts fairly cheaply, fortunately. You can decline wedding invitations based on the fact that you have a new baby and no childcare. I know you will feel bad not sending a gift in that case, but something you can think about: I don't think most people expect to be repaid in gifts, they give because they can. I would hate anyone feeling pressured to do what they can't in response to a gift I gave them--a gift is a gift! If you can't give gifts right now but want to show your appreciation, you might instead be alert to other ways YOU can give--volunteering to watch someone's dog while they're away, or baking a cake Friday for people at work to enjoy, things like that.

Do people still give gifts for housewarmings? I don't know if I've ever been to one. I would think bringing a dish, or something homemade like canned tomato sauce, would be fine.

Did you receive gift cards to places like Target or WalMart? You could use one of those to help with buying gifts.

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~Happiness is a large family~

having 3 boys, I know about the invitations coming in. It is hard, but I have learned to just do what I can.

Wedding presents - I look at their registry and look at their colors, things they like, etc. Then I go to a discount store and find something in their taste for under $5.00. (Even towels from the dollar store!!)

Birthday presents - A 5 yr old boy would be happy with ANYTHING (believe me, I have 3 boys!!!) I have often gone to a childs birthday party with a $1.00 gift. (A kite, paints, beach ball, etc. would be FINE as a present!!)

Remember, it really IS the thought that counts!! We with little extra money have to be creative with our gifts, and sometimes those are the best gifts!!!

This is the kind of thing that a gift closet would come in handy for. When you find something neat and inexpensive that can be given as a gift, stock up. After holiday sales are great, freebies, etc. If you are handy, crafts are good (I paint ceramic ornaments for Christmas. I buy at Michaels for about 50 cents and paint/glaze. I'll give 4-5 in a gift bag.) I buy toys for all ages after Christmas and Easter. When I find beauty stuff at discounted prices, I stock up. These can be put in a basket with cellophane and a bow for a nice gift. Photo albums or photo boxes are a perfect wedding gift. When you find them on sale or discounted at Target, Walmart or even the dollar store, stock up. For graduations, inexpensive but pretty jewelry for girl graduations, and I can't really think of anything right now for boys. If you have the time, energy and inclination: gift coupons are nice. For a wedding couple, a gourmet dinner (i.e. you can cook at your house and bring over, or cook at their house and include serving and clean up). for a baby shower, a free evening of baby sitting, or an hour of housework. If you are crafty, a pretty wreath for the front door, or a kitchen witch (towels tied to resemble a witch, supposed to be good luck). Instead of looking at it as an individual kind of thing, try and think bulk purchase. Say you've got four friends getting married in the next year. Say Michaels has nice photo albums, buy four get one free. You've got all four wedding gifts covered, plus an extra. If you've got four friends having babies in the next year, buy a case of diapers, a couple packs of onesies, some inexpensive receiving blankets, a four pack of bottles, and some inexpensive teethers or toys. You can roll each diaper and hold with a rubber band, place in a ring around the bottle (imagine a bundt pan, with the bottle at the center), take some ribbon (about 1") and tie around the diapers to hold them in place. Take some more ribbon (about 1/4") and tie the teethers and toys to the bottle, place the whole shebang on top of a folded blanket, wrap with cellophane, tie with a boy. You have four creative, and fairly inexpensive baby gifts. Total cost, if you get everything on sale or at the dollar store, about $10 each. If you plan ahead, instead of trying to buy for each occasion as it comes up, you'll find it can be really inexpensive to give nice gifts. No one has to know you bought it on sale or got it free! (Oh, and if you know babies are coming up, hit the Target clearance racks. You can always buy larger sizes for them to grow into, just make sure you get the right season.)

I LOVE this idea. One of my close friends who also just had a baby made me a diaper cake for my shower and I LOVED it. We are both cloth diapering and she made it out of prefolds and added all kinds of cute little extras, including a good source of info on how to care for the CDs. It was definately one of my favorite gifts!

Ok my idea for all toddler / preschool gifts
Home made playdoh make up a batch, shape it to the shape of a giant hershey kiss, wrap it in alumunm,foil and make a tag that says happy birthday, you can even throw in some dollar tree cookie cutters.

I know the feeling of not being able to afford what you want, Still I think time spent on a gift can be more important then Money spent.
Make up a freezer meal or two for a shower gift, Every new mom loves not having to cook.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

Could you do some simple handmade gifts..Maybe a disposable camera and a scrapbook? If you are crafty and make jewelry, candles, decorations etc..those could be good gifts..I know that it is so tough in these positions and don't know of the exact advide that is best..I always think that it ti the thought that counts and not the $$ spent on the gift..I think most people see it this way

Sounds like it is time to start a gift closet.

The principal behind the gift closet is you start stocking up on good gift items when you find them so you have a supply of low-cost, but high quality items, to select from when a special occassion comes around.

Think outside the 'box', specifically the big box stores (like Target, WalMart and department stores). That is, unless those stores are having deep clearance sales. Instead, look for gifts in odd locations like:

~ grocery stores (wine, picnic supplies, food oriented gift baskets, etc)

~ discount stores like TJ Maxx and Ross. We find incredible toys for sale at TJ Maxx. They are great for wedding gifts, too.

~ specialty line stores like computer stores, sporting good stores, book stores, antique stores, boutiques, etc. Because many of these stores are smaller, they have to put their merchandise on deep clearance more frequently in order to free up cash and shelf space for new stuff.

And of course, don't forget places like farmer's markets, thrift stores, and garage sales (it is surprising how many items are still in the original package!) Additionally, you can re-gift any items you received that don't fit your style. Just make sure you write notes to yourself about who gave you the item so you don't re-gift to the wrong place.

And for kids, try to stay out of the toy aisle, which is where everyone else goes. I tend toward the camping supplies. What 5-yr old doesn't love a flashlight? I also go to the sporting goods. A wonderful frugal gift for a younger one is a new kick ball. Little girls love items from the office supply area (journals, stationary and colored pens) and the craft department (my 6-yr old DD just started scrapbooking.) Plus, keep in mind, when you're not exceptionally close to the child (ie: you don't have children the same age), a nice book is alway appreciated.

My girlfriend hits the specialty line stores in Jan / Feb - after Christmas - to snap up the great deals for gifts. Earlier this year she got tons of boxed games for 90% off at Barnes & Noble. I like to hit the men's department in larger department stores because they put a ton of odd gifty items on clearance after Christmas (like powered necktie hangers, shoeshine kits and desktop organizers).

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."