I know a close friend he's in the late 40's now. He used to tell me that since he was born he has this feeling deep inside that he was not meant to be a man. He likes to hang out in the kitchen, play girly stuff, and he likes to look like a woman basically he wanted to become a woman and he still has this feeling til this day. During his teens,20's and 30's he acted like a macho man just to fit in. Married and had a child but now he's learning how to accept his true identity. He's happy. Dh is just a macho man because he was raise in the family that believe in the bible wholeheartedly that there's only two gender a man and a woman. I on the other hand I grew in the society where there were plenty of gay people and I was raise by two elder aunts so to me its not a big deal if the person is happy why not? right? These two different views are rarely being discuss in the house because DH and I would literally argue about this all night.Going to bed angry yes we have done it once or twice in the past. I allow my son's behavior therefore he feels like I'm working against him and he's feeling guilty because he is in the military and he is not there to be the role model for him but somebody has to make a living in the family so he shoulder the "hard core" stuff or the manly duties in the family without complaints except for our son's behavior. Now I'm feeling more overwhelm due to stress of him deploying, raising a son, teaching him "manly stuff" etc...I thought I was doing a good job raising our son when he went to the field but since DH has this fear of me turning our son into a "girl" and pointing out unusual behavior that we notice that fear is rubbing off of me. Now I'm in a panic (I'm a worry wart) of what the heck am I doing wrong with our son and how am I going to raise him to be a healthy normal boy? Now I feel like I need to see a therapist

__________________
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments"
- Anonymous

Seriously, go talk to someone or take some courses. It'll be good for you AND your son

__________________

All parents need knowledge and support. With being so far from your family and with some of the friend experiences you've had over the years... best bet is to get some professional support. That way you can trust the info and begin to feel better and happier

__________________

They offer some parenting class here I'm going to sign up on Monday for one I'm going to need it. I got a book about about how to raise a boy it's not helping me much.THank you ladies for the encouragement this is a bad timing for me because I have a lot on my hands right now but I'm going sign up for a class . I know deep down my son is okay but some people like my husband likes to add more worries in life and I'm very vulnerable at this time because of him leaving so anything he says stays in my head and I start to panic. Thank you guys for listening and giving me advice I do feel little better now.

__________________
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments"
- Anonymous

I really don't think there is a manual to raising a boy, each one is SO different from one another. My husband is rarely around due to his job and I like to think that my son is turning out just fine. I really think you are creating your own issues in your head and your husband is helping you validate them. Your son DOES have a positive male role model, his own father, wheather is he is home or not. There is nothing wrong with your son, and SO WHAT if he grows up and discovers he IS gay?? Will you disown him?? Will you love him any less???

__________________
~Missy~Mommy
Meghan9.Samantha8,Cameron6

New England Mommysavers Social Group, Join us!http://mommysavers.com/boards/group.php?groupid=10