Tiptoe Around my DD!

GoPytn07 · **Tiptoe Around my DD!**

Ok I'm overwhelmed. My youngest dd will turn 3 in about one week, and she's , well, uh...wow!!! She's quite a handful. I don't think she's a brat (of course I don't, i'm her Mom!), but she's quite a challenge. She hates to get dressed, she gets really ticked if I flush the toilet after she goes potty (she wants to do it herself but I'm just in the habit of flushing it). We usually can't take eldest DD to school in the morning without some kind of drama from youngest. She wants to do what she wants to do and that's all there is to it. I want to know where I went wrong. My oldest is quite easy actually! She didn't go through this awful stage! Though, I'm beginning to wonder if my youngest just has a difficult personality as opposed to simply going through a stage. She gets angry very fast, throws her toys when she's ticked off, or doesn't get her way. I'm so frustrated because I never thought I'd have "that" kid. I'm venting and asking for help at the same time. I dont' know what to do with her. My nerves are sizzling all day long because I'm just waiting for her next meltdown. I get uptight when we're around other people because i know she'll have a tantrum and I get embarassed and irritated rather quickly about it. I don't cave in to her, but at the same time, I don't want to argue with her either so I'm sure it's my fault. I have found myself lately saying.."whatever!!" and throwing my hands into the air. Anyone going thru this??

Kellyandgirls · 04-26-2007, 12:15 PM

Are you sure you are not talking about my 5 yr old!!! man every morning its a battle!! (today was good so I took her to BK for breakfat!!) she throws some sort of tantrum when Oldest dd is getting ready for school!! She even makes her miss the bus(we have to walk dd to the bus since its at the end of hte street!) soo That means I need to drive dd to school (not the end of hte world since I get to Check in at her school and I feel connected then) but It gets soo OLD!!! I am soo looking forward to her goin to Kindy next year just so I can have a couple of hours break from her!! I love her more than anything but Geez!!
anyhow I dont have any words of wisdom for you but I do undertand!!!

lovindj25 · 04-26-2007, 12:21 PM

dawson turned 4 in March and he has gained an argumentative stage....we could go on for hours but i just cant even stand that he talks back to me....i know what your talking about...love him to pieces but i would love to send him away to boot camp....do they have that for four year olds!!!

skimommy · 04-26-2007, 12:54 PM

My oldest just turned 4 yo and behaves in a similar manner. She has a younger sister that is 18 mo and fuels the fire. My 4yo doesn't want to share and fights with her sister constantly.

The only advice I have is to be consistent with discipline. I offer her another way of dealing with things when she acts out. I ask her to go to her room until she can be nice. I will set a timer for 5 minutes and if she protests she gets another 5. Sometimes she ends up with 15 minutes. She usually finds something to play with and will behave herself for awhile.

I feel like I walk on eggshells.

momof2boys · 04-26-2007, 01:09 PM

Hmmm, sounds like my 3 yr old right about now. He refuses to be told to go potty when he wakes in the morning. Instead he will come downstairs and not 3 minutes into breakfast has to go RIGHT NOW, but always with Mommy or Daddy. He loses his temper extremly fast. He actually called me stupid mommy today

when he wants something he just goes on and on its awful. This has been going on for about 2 wks now. He turned 3 in Feburary.

Wish I had an answer for you and me!

deemom · 04-26-2007, 02:40 PM

3 is definitely worse than 2. My 3 1/2 yr old has her moments as well, especially if she is tired. We use the naughty corner when she hits or misbehaves-1 minute for every year old she is. I've learned to pick my battles or some days would be constant discipline escalating to yelling which I don't like to do.

TommysMommy · 04-26-2007, 05:56 PM

Ugh! I see a trend. Brandon is the same way. He will be 4 in June. He is such a little tyrant. Everything must be his way or else. It doesn't help with a big brother pestering him and a baby brother hogging all of the attention. I have given up on potty training. All I can think to do is be consistent on discipline and give lots of positive attention when he is good.

GoPytn07 · 04-27-2007, 09:49 AM

Ok, so I'm trying something new! Tired of arguing with her to get her dressed, so I started a little reward chart for her. Every day she gets dressed promptly and without argument, she gets to put a sticker on the chart. Once the chart is full, she can pick out some new playdoh, or another inexpensive craft/toy. The chart has about 30 days on it, and so far it's really working. She's very excited about the sticker situation! Hopefully within a month I won't even have to use the reward chart anymore! Wish me luck!!

calmingweight · 04-27-2007, 09:54 AM

There's a GREAT book that sounds perfect for your situation, it's called Setting Limits for your Strong Willed Child (Robert J. MacKenzie). I really like it because it gives you several examples of situations and the ideal way to deal with each situation. Throwing a fit in the car is one example in the book.

Shannon/Bryce · 04-27-2007, 01:54 PM

I like your reward chart idea but as a teacher, can I make a suggestion? A month might be too long to wait for a reward. She may lose interest after a few days and not care about the stickers because it is very hard for a child of that age to delay gratification for that long. She may think that it is never coming... It is usually suggested to start with a shorter period at first so she gets a reward rather quickly and knows how good all the positive praise feels. Then, slowly make the requirement for earning a reward a little higher ... i think you might see more success this way in the long run...