My soom to be 3 year old son is very aggressive. He is also very loving. He will hit and push at home and we put him in time out and this deters it for a little while. AT school the teacher is having the same problem. She says he loves his friends and hugs them often but will also hit and push if he is not happy about something. He is put in time out at school for hitting and pushing but do I need to punish him at school for it too? What so I do to calm him down a little?

At this age i don't think you need to punish him at home if he has been punished at school.

I do think the teachers need to keep him close to them. Have him be a helper to them and keep a close eye when he is near his friends.

At home if time outs don't work try figuring out what a favorite toy is of his. When he hits or pushes put that special something in a time out. That way he can't have it back for a while.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

Parker went through something similar. We did time-outs and that didn't phase him. He can stand in a corner forever and not complain at all. That boy has stamina.

I do have consequences for my children if they get in trouble at school. I want them to know that I take their behavior very seriously no matter where they are. That said, the consequence might be that he doesn't get to play with whatever or do whatever is important to him for the evening. Then he starts the next day of school with a clean slate.

Also, start really working with him on empathy.....understanding other's feelings. This will help him move past the "me" stage and hopefully will help him understand how his actions affect others. You can start by focussing on how he feels when certain things happen. Good and bad, scary and fun, happy and sad. Then transfer that to others. It is a learning process that isn't hard-wired in when we are born. Some kids just take longer than others to finally get it. I'd also be sure to emphasize how good he must feel when he doesn't get in trouble at school. How proud he must be of himself. How the other children must feel about his good behavior, etc.

Big Hugs!!!!

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Parker, Wyndser, and Carson....................Wyndser (in blue) with her cousin