I might be overreacting here but please let me know what you think.

I have a 3 year old daughter who will turn 4 later this month. She's bright. She's friendly and she LOVES ponies. I recently enrolled her into pre-school more for socialization then academic reasons. She also attends this pre-school with two other little kids, a boy and a girl, that she has done a weekly playgroup with since she was a year old. The boy and the girl spend a lot of time together and are a lot closer and my daughter, when it is the three of them, tends to be 3rd wheel. This wasn't a huge deal to me because I knew other kids would be there for her to befriend.

Today, when I showed up to the pre-school where all the kids were painting, my daughter was in back with the little kids (it also is a day-care) playing with ponies. Near as I can figure my daughter only plays with ponies all day long. There are some activities the pre-school requires of her but other stuff she has an option and usually her option is always ponies. She doesn't seem unhappy. But I can't help but think, "Kid we have ponies at home. Why am I paying $120.00 a month for you to play with ponies?" She can do that at home for free!

Is this normal? Is this just me overreacting? I've told her I wanted her to at least look over the "stations" before deciding to play with ponies. Today she told me she decided to do the pony station! Tomorrow I told her how about trying to at least paint a picture before playing the ponies - she can even paint a picture of a pony and I wouldn't mind that. Most days, when I've gone to pick her up, she usually is playing with another girl on the ponies but today it just broke my heart to see her back by herself -- but maybe it is more of my issue than hers.

The teacher doesn't seem to worried about it and perhaps I shouldn't be either.

I don't know. Please advice, someone!

The part that concerns me the most is that the children are allowed to intermingle between ages. All of the kids are in one giant room? That sounds odd, and not very safe. Every preschool I've visited (and I've been to most in my part of the city I live in) have seperate rooms for each age group and engage the children in their own age groups. Almost half of the schools I have toured also divided the ages, as in one class was "old" twos and one class was "young" twos, because the difference between a 2 and 3 year old is huge sometimes. Usually at least 2 teachers for 10-12 children. The children do play in centers of their own choice, but the teacher changes up the centers every few weeks. Is this the only preschool choice in your area? In my research here - the best preschools are only preschools - they may have extended care through 2 or so, but not daycares. While I have also put my children in preschool for social reasons, I also wanted a safe, secure place where my child could expand his/her horizons and prepare for big school. If this is the only option for your daughter, maybe you could talk to the teacher about removing the "pony station" for a few weeks now that she is comfortable there so she will venture out and try new things. Good luck - I have a pony obsessed 4 year old, so I understand where you are!!!!

I do agree with the previous poster... And I think that the "stations" should be different every day. Ponies should not be there every day. Just like play doh should not be out every day...

My dd is in pre school too and we are paying as well, and I get upset when they have a day off of school, because I am still paying for that day off... grr...

Don't beat yourself up, many "issues" that we moms have are completely sane!

I'm sorry but I don't agree with the previous posters. If she has only been in pre-school a short time, it is still new to her, maybe ponies give her the security of something she has at home, why would you want to take that away from her? I know where you are coming from my ds just started pre-school monday and he has been home with me since birth with no day care experience and I worry about him playing alone, that is what I observed him doing on playgrounds and when we were at the orientation with our kids. But time will pass she'll get used to the environment other things will interest her and it will all work out. Nothing bad is happening! I would talk to the teacher and just let them know your concerns.

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

Ya, I think I over reacted. I was exhausted yesterday (sick baby the night before) and my daughter going to pre-school has been a nerve racking experience for me! I also talked a bit more with her about everything and she had just had a disagreement with another little girl over what to do with the ponies. The last disagreement she had had she hit another girl and had gotten in trouble and she was worried that this would be the case this time around. Poor kid. I explained it's OK to disagree just not to hit when you disagree.

As for the pre-school / daycare together. We live in a rural area for the pre-school to exist they need the daycare. That's just the way it is here and I actually put my daughter in the best reputed center.

I just need to learn to relax. She's happy, she's making friends, and she's secure enough to go do her own thing! Actually she's doing better than I am! Maybe I should take some notes!

I think as long as the teachers are drawing her into the group activities she should be fine. I think i would mention to them that you do want her to be doing some of the other centers and creative things too.

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)

I know you have a little one at home so this won't be easy, but anytime you're concerned with how the preschool program is doing, I recommend you go and observe. DD's preschool was set up with a one-way mirror on the door so observers could look in but the kids didn't know they were being observed. And because we had a problem with her first preschool, I did go by frequently through-out the day to peek in to see how she was doing.

Keep in mind, that preschools often take breaks through the day, especially around pick-up times. It might look like she has been doing nothing but play ponies all day or spent her time alone, but that might be the first opportunity she has had. My DD would ask me to pick her up late because pick-up time was the only moment in the preschool day when she had any free time at all.

Once you observe the class, I'm sure you'll feel better about what she is doing and learning.

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I have done daycare for many years and it seems normal to me. All my kids go through stages of playing with the same toys for several days and then all the sudden they will switch to something else. This week my 3 year old is into barbies, last week it was cars, who knows this week. She plays by her self and sometimes joins in with someone else. Voice your concern to the teachers and give it some time. I am sure things will work out. Ponies might be her thing, it could be worse, she could be collecting boogers or something.

[ Ponies might be her thing, it could be worse, she could be collecting boogers or something. [/quote]

Speaking of boogers ..... does anyone else's child want to eat them or is my son acting like an alien?

I agree that it could be a security issue, and I wouldn't obsess about it or worry too much, especially if she's happy. It's also common for this age to still "parallel play" rather than interact play, so she may not even notice she's a 3rd wheel.

I would just ask the teacher a few questions - that shows you have a concern without making it seem like you want it to change. Lets her know you are aware. But I would just sit and ride it out a bit longer.

By the way, even if she's not interacting, she's still benefitting. Believe me, those little ears are still open and she's still watching how others interact. As long as the teacher also introduces other things, but lets her stay in her comfort zone a lot, she's fine.

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