** Discussion Starter **

How do you handle other parents when they disagree with your parenting style?

Especially in front of your kids?

Or if it's your spouse that disagrees?

What if it effects something you love? A playgroup with many members you enjoy...but one or two people who look at you like your King Kong for some way you choose to handle your child?

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I can't say that this has ever happened to me...

Yikes!
Unless you are beating your child or verbally degrading them, people need to mind their own business.

What situation is it that people are looking down on?

If I disagree with how my hubby has handled a situation with DD, I discuss it after she is out of ear shot.
Unless a child is being abused(and a spanking in my eyes does NOT constitute as abuse) physically or verbally...........it is not wise to say something in front of child. They will play you like a fiddle if they know father/mother disagree.

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Jenifer M

For the most part I can be friendly but not *friends* with someone whose parenting style vastly differs from mine and dh's. Dh and I talked about kids before we got married, and agreed out styles complemented each other. We were both brought up the same way and had very similar views on parenting.

And to the other parents, well it just depends on what they are looking at you like King Kong. Is it something like they allow their kids to jump on your furniture without saying anything? Or is it that you allow your kids to jump on their furniture without saying anything? It's hard to know how to answer unless you cite specific examples.

Ok - We are going to be discussing this in my mom's group coming up. I just thought I would inquire here also.

However, when I wrote the question, I had in my mind something more like your child has a runny nose, and you go to playgroup anyway, only to be shunned by the other mom's who are appalled you would bring your kid when they have the sniffles. This happened in our group, there were some of us that could've cared less (kids get sick ANYWHERE). I was surprised though at some of the mom's reactions ~ you would've thought this poor kid had the plague. The other mom now, doesn't ever want to return after how she was treated by some.

Hence the topic to be discussed

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Hmmmm.... I am a very laid back type of parent (not that I let my kids get away with everything, but I don't sweat the small stuff. I have no germ phobias and I allow my kids to do things for themselves if at all possible) I suppose I might be put off too if I was treated like an outcast for bringing a child with the sniffles, especially since we have lots of allergy related sniffles here. I guess it would really depend on the situation and how much I liked the group as to whether I would return or not. No one likes to be told they are parenting wrong and I am no exception.

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~Happiness is a large family~

I personally would not handle it very well at all. I would just tell the other person to mind their own freakin' business and not to concern theirselves over how I parent MY child. Things like this irritate me like you would not believe. Once you tell 'em like it is then I dare say they will look at you weird anymore on your parenting style. That's just me though....

I would never shun anyone!!! That is ruder than bringing a sick child to playgroup.
The parent who has the sick child by bringing them to playgroup has an affect on the others by possibly getting them sick, and no one wants to see there child sick or their whole family for that matter. So as another parent I would be disappointed that the parent chose to bring them, mainly if it was the green snot, (I wouldn't if it was just a little runny nose and a sneeze, like an allergy or something.) And to protect my child from getting sick would probably just say our goodbyes to all and just leave playgroup this day.

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

Love this explanatioin!!

I had a playgroup at my house last week, and one of the Mom's didnt' come because her child had a runny nose. I personally didnt' have a problem with a little runny nose. But reading your response I now understand why she wasn't here. She was more concerned about the others. I was so paranoid that she just didn't want to come to MY house.

Now we have playgroup this week somewhere else and I have been "sick" feeling much better today, but I am thinking now that I will just stay home. I would feel horrible if anyone else got sick because of me or worse felt they had to leave playgroup because of me. Even though I am pretty sure mine is mostly allergies.

Thanks for the insight!!

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I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are. ~ Frances Moore Lappe