My little guy will be 2 in November and he is extremely shy, always has been. When we are out and about if someone talks to him he will put his head down, close his eyes and cover his ears. If I am nearby he practically climbs up me to hide his face on my shoulder. He talks very well for his age (sometimes too well) but refuses to speak when anyone besides immediate family talks to him. My other children were not shy at all. I don't know what to do to help him. He goes in the nursery at church but plays by himself and if another child tries to play with him he will move aways from them. It is almost painful for me to watch him be so shy.

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DS-16
DD-12
DD-5
DS-2

Since he is only 2 I would try not to worry... I can imagine that it is different for you if the other of your children are not shy! If he is talking well that is great!

My dd was not shy at all, almost too outgoing, and that is scary too since she would probably talk to anyone...

Maybe you could have the older children help introduce themselves and show him how to say hello. I tell dd that it is rude ( she is 3 though ) to not say hello to someone she knows, and if she does not feel like it she should at least smile at the person and wave. But like I said she is 3 and she is just being naughty .

All kids are different and I think the more we as parents push them one way they go the other! lol

If he likes books maybe try to find one on different emotions.

HTH!

I know it is painful, but just let him be who he is. My first son was that way. To be honest, we teach our children NOT to talk to strangers, and then we force them to on a regular basis. If someone speaks to your child and he reacts that way, just smile and either shrug or say quietly "he's just shy", or something to that effect. He will grow out of it. He is still a baby. Best of luck to you

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Wife to Thomas and Mom to Claire, Carter, Caroline and Cale

my ds was shy when he was smaller. Not climb up me shy. More like just stay real close to me and stare. I signed us up for a mommy & me playgroup and I would let him sit on my lap and I would play with the other kids and him and not pressure him after awhile he would slowly move furthur away from me. He is in pre-k now and is still playing on his own, but the teacher assures me this is age appropriate. He isn't shy when going out at all now, but still stays close, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I probably wouldn't send him to a nursery on his own. I would stay with him so he feels secure. And let him take the lead on going off on his own.JMO

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"Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body." ~Anonymous

I would try not to worry about it at this point...I don't know that there is anything you can really do to 'make' him less shy. I also never encouraged my kids to talk to strangers, if someone says hi to him, then you can just respond to the person, smile and walk away. It sounds like he's really uncomfortable, so forcing it probably won't help. If you're concerned about his interaction with other children, maybe talk to your ped about it? I know for me, if it was 'painful' to watch him at the nursery, I wouldn't leave him there...but that's me.

I echo the message to not worry about it at this age. Instead of pushing him to interact more, I recommend cuddling him. Hold and cuddle him so much, he has to ask to be let down. Even if he asks, be reluctant to let him go. In other words, be overly protective of him so he doesn't feel like he has to protect himself. It won't take long before he is more independant.

Many children who are extremely shy simply don't know what to do in a social situation. I know this is hard to imagine when there are older siblings around. With this one, you might have to go out of your way to teach him to say his 'please' and 'thank you' or 'excuse me', especially when interacting with another adult or when you're talking to an adult. In other words, he can't just stand there and whine to be lifted up or push his way into your arms. Insist he use his words to get what he wants - he has to ask. In this situation and at this age, the way to overcome shyness is to focus on manners. My DD never knew how to handle a compliment so I had to teach her to say "thank you" first before responding any other way or just giving a dumb stare to the speaker. In your case, when the playdate at the church ends, make sure he helps to clean-up and says "thank you" to the room attendant before leaving.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

My oldest boy used to be a little shy - not climbing up me shy, but for sure wouldn't talk to someone in the grocery store, etc. I was worried that he wouldn't make any friends in his mom's day out program that he started a month or so ago. But about 4 months or so, he completely changed! Now he's almost too friendly! It really was a huge difference! He'll talk to anyone now and tell them the names & ages of his brothers, etc! Now I find myself worrying that he talks to strangers too much.

I'd say since your son is only 2 you probalby don't have to worry much yet! I wouldn't even encourage him to talk to strangers in the store yet - that's a pretty big leap from his behavior now. For now, just work on getting him talking to friends (in small groups)! I'm betting he'll outgrow it! He may never be completely outgoing, but I'm sure he'll get better!

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Stay at home mom to my 3 boys... ages 5, 3 & 1!

I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

my oldest dd who is now in 2nd grade!! She was soo shy we thougt maybe she had selective Mutism!! I would get criticied all the time about how shy she is from my inlaws etc!!! she is still shy (its just who she is!!!) but she is soo much more outgong now!! she is quiet but will answer in class etc!!! Im thinking he just needs time to adjust to people and check things out!!! let him be who he is!! I always said to people Id much rather have a shy child then a child who would take off too easy!!! and get lost!!!
She is the sweetest child and I swear being shy is just part of her!!!

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Kelly mom to 3 great girls A Peanut, a monkey and a little burrito.

Thanks for all the advice ladies! Its always nice to hear others experiences.

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DS-16
DD-12
DD-5
DS-2

My 20 month old gets upset when women come close to her. She is shy when men come around but gets panicky when women come around. Not in the grocery store or out and about when she just sees them. It is when I talk to them and they talk to her. She is even afraid of her older cousins (age 12) her Grandma and Aunts. She knows these family members very well but still will sometimes cry and cling to me as if they are going to harm her. She does not react this way with men. In fact, she likes men. What is that about????? As early as I can remember, like around 5 or 6 months, she has been this way. One lady in particular, she litterally freaks out everytime she sees her and has since she was an infant.

Eventually, she will warm up to the family members, but she is very timid and makes sure she can see me at all times. She very seldom lets them pick her up and cuddle her.

I feel so bad for these people, especially my family because they love her so much but I don't know how to get her past this.

Please....any suggestions would be helpful!!!