I have a DS4 going on 30. He is very mouthy and sassy. I have tried a few things but am at a loss where to go from here. I tell him to do something he may or maynot do it. I know it is totally a power struggle but how do I win!!!! But then he can se so sweet and lovey. almost a night and day thing! Any suggestions that worked for you?

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Lisa

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ~Fran Lebowitz

I have one of those too!!

I'd have to say that consistency in enforcing the rules and what you say works best. If you ask him to do something but he fights it and then wins, you will have to work double hard the next time.

I try to be very careful about what I say. I don't ask him to do something unless I really want it done. (i.e. I don't say come here, unless I really need to come for some reason). Took me a lot of thinking before I spoke though. But then - when I ask or say something I enfore it and I don't find myself saying "it's not that important" and letting it slide.

Just know that you are not the only one. Stick with it!

amy

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Amy B.

It's a normal phase, probably, but do run it by your pediatrician - a phone call should suffice. Pick your battles. When you tell him you will do something if he keeps up, do it. What we did at this age was, if we put him in time out, we told him he can come out when he is ready to obey/calm down, etc. That way, he learned he can be in control and can make his own decisions. We also tell him that if he can't calm down, stop making noises, etc., he's welcome to do them, but in his room with his door closed. His choice. In extreme circumstances, he loses the toy of the minute for a day. They love to test to see what their new limits are as they become older. Limits help their security. The other, BIG thing we realized is that we were always telling him not to do something - don't be loud, don't be mouthy, etc., but it wasn't until we realized the problem and started telling what to do instead - don't speak loudly, speak softly. Instead of don't hit, touch softly. Instead of don't be sassy, tell him what to say. That was a big one. He didn't know exactly what he was doing wrong and what would be right. Just some ideas. Hope something works, and that you also have ways to cope (mommy needs a time out right now because I'm angry). The other day my son said something hurtful, and rather than get mad, I told him he hurt my feelings. Later, he cried over it. Three days later, he's still asking me if I feel hurt. Wow, was that a lightbulb!

Wow, I love this...I am going to try it and see if it helps with my son.

You are not alone. I battle with my little boy also. It is really hard right now, since he had surgury last Thursday and is pushing every button possible. Good Luck and will be thinking of you..

I have that same battle with my almost 4 yr old DS.
I try to pick my battles, what is really important, what can wait.

A lot of people like the book 1-2-3 Magic. It covers a lot of these issues and stresses thinking about what you say before you say it. I've only read exertps but have requested it from the library

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I don't believe in miracles; I depend on them

I am going to the Library today will look for that book!!!! thanks for all the help!! It is always great to know i am not alone!!

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Lisa

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ~Fran Lebowitz