Hi Ladies! I haven’t been here in a very long time, but I really need your help and expertise. I think I’ve hit the terrible two’s with DD#2. Hannah is 2 ½. She has a 3 ½ year old sister so I sometimes think there are power struggles there. Nonethelesss, Here’s what’s going on and how we handle it:

1) Whines and fusses about anything and everything. (which excellerates into a full blown tantrum) How we handle: We tell her we don’t understand whining, when she can tell us what she wants we can help her.
2) Disagrees with anything going on (Example: this morning we put her lunch box into her back back and she say she doesn’t want to take her lunch. She knows she has to as it’s picnic lunch day, but it’s just something to disagree on. We ignore and it evolves to a full blown tantrum) How we handle: We mainly try to ignore this behavior. We figure she’s trying to get a rise out of us and figure no reaction is better that a big reaction.
3) Total defiance – loves telling mommy no. Does things she knows is wrong and automatically says sorry. How we handle: She gets put in time out for telling mommy no and I tell her that she can tell mommy what she wants in different ways. About the I’m sorry’s, we’ve told her, we’re glad that she’s sorry, but we want her to SHOW us she sorry by not doing that things again rather that telling us.
4) Tantrums – from morning until night. How we handle: She gets picked up and put in her room. Unfortunately, she won’t stay. She runs right out. Which resorts in additional interaction. So now I’ve resorted to holding her door shut so she can’t get out. When I take her to her room, I tell her I’m sorry she’s made the choice to throw a fit and now you have to go to a quiet place and calm down. When your calm, we can talk. The problem is her fits escalate so bad and last soooo long.

My question is,, IS THIS REALLY THE TERRIBLE TWO’S or is something psychologically wrong with my baby….. now you know what is going on in my house. I’m tired. I’m worn down. I’m open to any and ALL suggestions. I’m pretty consistent so consistency isn’t an issue. Please tell me my child is not the only one who acts like this because I am seriously at my ropes end!!! I have a 3 year old too and she told me she wanted to give her sister to another family! I have literally been in tears more days than not. I work full time and then go home and work harder there just trying to keep Hannah happy. What happened to my happy little girl???? I want her back!!!!! Ladies, please help me!!!!

you are not alone! my #2 DS is doing the same things...and we're doing pretty much the same things as parents. I have found that if I give him a choice between 2 things, we avoid some of the power struggles, but I have no idea how to avoid them all. I just keep telling myself that he's upset because he has very little control over things, and wants control over everything and that is very frustrating for him (and me). So I just try to make it seem like he is deciding what happens next whenever I can.

Good Luck!

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Dottie

Mom to Michael 6, Matthew 4, Katherine 2, Ellen 1, and new baby EDD 10/29/08

Oh your DD is a normal 2 1/2 yr. old!!! My 3 yr. old DD is the same way. I just pick my battles with her. And most of the time, when she is whining or saying things she shouldn't (her newest is "you're naughty mommy"), i just ignore her.

It is very frustrating and exhausting. Hang in there!!!

You are doing everything right. It's hard and seems to last forever, but fear not, this too shall pass. Big hugs.

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The mighty oak started out as a nut that held its ground.

I am there with ya, sister!! You are not alone sounds like you are doing good! Keep at it!

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Lisa

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ~Fran Lebowitz