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Old 01-27-2008, 10:42 AM   #1
Default Whiney 2 year old
Amber03
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My DD just turned 2 on December 27th. She has since became extra whiney. I don't know if it is the terrible 2's or because of the new addition ( he is now 3 months). My oldest is now 7 so I can't really remember enough to compare. Anybody else went through this? It also might be worse when my oldest goes to his dad's everyother weekend and 1-2 days during the week. She may miss him. What do you think?
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Old 01-27-2008, 02:49 PM   #2
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I also have a 2 year old and a 7 year old, and I know that when the 7 year old is away from home (not school, since the 2 year old is used to that routine, but at a friend's house or a basketball game or a sleepover at my parents, etc.) my 2 year old is very out of sorts. He misses his brother terribly. The few times that older ds has gone out of town for the weekend with dh, the 2 year old has been miserable. The disruption in the family routine might be a big part of it. Plus I am sure the new baby is part of it. That is a big adjustment for a little girl! She is probably whining to get your attention. My son doesn't whine, but he definitely stirs it up (throws toys down the stairs, pulls his brother's hair, etc.) to get attention when I am helping older ds with homework or just paying older ds attention. It makes younger ds jealous! At 2, they just want your attention, and they don't care if it is negative or positive. They like to get a rise out of you!

Hang in there. You have a full plate!
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Old 01-27-2008, 06:54 PM   #3
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My daughter's friend has become whiney since her sibblings (twins) were born. I don't know if there is a connection but her mother seemed to think so.
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Old 01-28-2008, 06:55 AM   #4
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Yes, I have heard this from several of my friends who went through the same thing. It has verything to do with the new addition and because the 2 year old is old enough to see she/he is no longer the "baby". There is now a sharing of attention. A shift in her position in the family. She needs EXTRA attention and encouragement.

It just takes time and things will get better. Right now your little one is not sure where she fits in. Her place in the family has changed. Just love her lots, talk to her about how special she is. As your baby does new things, crawls, sits up, talks you will be so excited!! But when you verbalize it make sure that you also include your 2 year old. Like IF at the moment you see your baby crawl for the first time anyone mother is going to clap and praise and act very happy and tell the baby what a good job it did..If your 2/3 year old is there at that wonderful moment and is watching you include her...and say something like... Look..Sissy..baby Johnny is learning to crawl just like you did!! You were such a good crawler..We have to help him learn and clap from now on when he does it so that he will learn to walk just like you...would you want to help Mama with that??

Also ask her what she thinks about this or that when it comes to the baby's care...Like do you think that is a good idea???

But most importantly just reassure her that though you have another addition to love that doesn't take away any love that you have for her.

Toddlers are just little people with the same emotions as big people.

Anyway..that's my 2 cents...hope it helps.

Joyce ( Mom of 2 )
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:12 AM   #5
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#1 the child is 2
#2 there is a new baby in the house

That can make for a 'whiney' child.
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:45 AM   #6
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me and my three sons
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsJoyce
Yes, I have heard this from several of my friends who went through the same thing. It has verything to do with the new addition and because the 2 year old is old enough to see she/he is no longer the "baby". There is now a sharing of attention. A shift in her position in the family. She needs EXTRA attention and encouragement.

It just takes time and things will get better. Right now your little one is not sure where she fits in. Her place in the family has changed. Just love her lots, talk to her about how special she is. As your baby does new things, crawls, sits up, talks you will be so excited!! But when you verbalize it make sure that you also include your 2 year old. Like IF at the moment you see your baby crawl for the first time anyone mother is going to clap and praise and act very happy and tell the baby what a good job it did..If your 2/3 year old is there at that wonderful moment and is watching you include her...and say something like... Look..Sissy..baby Johnny is learning to crawl just like you did!! You were such a good crawler..We have to help him learn and clap from now on when he does it so that he will learn to walk just like you...would you want to help Mama with that??

Also ask her what she thinks about this or that when it comes to the baby's care...Like do you think that is a good idea???

But most importantly just reassure her that though you have another addition to love that doesn't take away any love that you have for her.

Toddlers are just little people with the same emotions as big people.

Anyway..that's my 2 cents...hope it helps.

Joyce ( Mom of 2 )
This is what worked when a new baby came when my son was two, I made sure he felt even more important now that the baby was here, anytime the baby was sleeping, it was "our" time, and let him know how much the baby loved him, I think always telling him that the baby loved him (ex. look at how the baby is looking at you, boy he just loves you so much) took away any threat the older one felt, and they are so close and bonded, they are 5 and 2 now and get along very well, my 5 yr old adores his little brother
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:46 AM   #7
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You are probably already doing this but I would make sure I spent special time with my oldest when the baby took a nap.

I do not give in to any whining. It annoys more than crying! I tell my daughter to use her words. If she does not use her words than I do not know what she wants. This seems to be effective. Although you will probably not prevent whining, it seems to cut it short for my daughter.
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Old 01-28-2008, 08:42 PM   #8
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All children are whiney at times. I hate it more then crying and I make her use her words like a big girl as well.

At a young age, when they do not understand as well, ignore it, as much as you hate to listen to it... but make sure that they know it is unacceptable to "talk" that way.

But all in all, every child gets whiney, and the circumstances are ripe for her to be that way right now
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Old 09-09-2008, 09:17 PM   #9
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Hi ladies,
I am looking for advice for my 24 year old daughter in dealing with her 13 month-old boy. He whines incessantly - cried incessantly as an infant and of course we diagnosed collic. He started teething early, too. We can tell his teething whine from his normal, constant whine. My daughter just about goes bananas after so many hours of his whining and pulling at her. She keeps her wits about her for most of the day, but gets exasperated, eventually, as anyone would. She spends a lot of time with him, playing, reading, etc - several hours a day. He can become interested and keep focus for quite awhile. But he always switches back to whining when not being stimulated - and frequently, nothing sooths him. What's your best advice? My daughter has tried the standard, typical advice, to no avail.

Thank you so much,
Wanda
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:41 AM   #10
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after having 3 kids i have found that when my younger ones were bored and not feeling heard or payed attention to they whine. i try to make sure i spent some alone time with each child even if its 10 min here or there. when the baby is 3mos you can be holding them ect and play with the older sibling with your other hand it makes them feel apart of things.

once my kids hit 2 whinning is not rewarded with attention i first try to ask them do they need my help alot of time they want help finding a toy ect so i have them say mom can you help i say each word and they repeat it i then say sure lets go look ect it turns the whinning right around.

whinning can grate on someones every last nerve mine included but you just have to be patient and not reward the behavior or it will continue as they get older.
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