What does everyone think?

Our 4 year old (she's a young 4 and will be repeating preschool next year due to her birthday) has been going to preschool since September. It started out a bit bumpy but we worked through the problems and she really enjoyed it. Though the past month and a half she has become a major struggle getting her there. There is a little boy who is a bit on the annoying side with her and she complains of him but honestly I'm not sure if that completely is the problem. He was taking things away from her and she finally did "attack" him one day (which she got in trouble for) so truthfully, at this point, he should be more afraid of her than she is him. I'm not sure if he is the problem or the excuse. And I'm tired of the fight every morning. And I'm tired of paying for something that she isn't using as well.

It is NOT a regular preschool as it is combined with a daycare. I'm not happy with that set up but in my rural area that isn't an option to find anything else and I believe we put her in the best available preschool. I'm also a little unhappy because I'm not getting the communication to know that there is a problem before it blows up in our faces. I also have to wonder if they would tell us if there really was a problem -- they are a business and they do require a set amount of students to keep going. Not that I'm saying that they would but there is a biased side for them keeping her there.

I'm of the opinion that the world will not end if we pull her from preschool. Like I said she is young for her class and there always is next year. And we've even discussed home schooling for the future. Part of the reason that I am staying at home with the kids is so they can develop at their own rate.

My husband is of the opinion that if we pull her now that it only is re-enforcing that she doesn't have to do something that she wants. I see his point as well but, again, she is only 4.

I don't know. My husband isn't working today and we're both going to go over and talk to her teacher and try to decide from there.

Any thoughts?

Did you see my thread about early education? YES! I think it is very important!

It sounds like you might need to look for another preschool. Do you have any other options? School registration started this month in our area. I recommend Montessori school if you have any in your area. Lilly did extremely well in the Montessori environment. There is lots of information online if you aren't familiar with it.

I have no problems getting her to school. She gets herself dressed in the morning so it is much easier for me than you. However, we have a friend who DRAGS her child every day. Once she is in the classroom she is fine but she resists until she gets there.

I think a bad experience in preschool could also reinforce a memory of bad experience for school. If you pull her out, maybe you could just say that the school has ended her class -- so she doesn't get any idea that she was pulled out . . . .

My son wanted to go to preschool, but he didn't participate in everything -- wouldn't sing, wouldn't dance, asked his teacher when I was coming back. I was afraid for real school! Then, like someone pulled a switch, he participated in almost everything (faked singing ) once he started Kindergarten. I'm glad DS went to preschool, but I think he would have been fine without too. I think a child's participation and socializing in a classroom setting all comes developmentally -- not because they practiced these skills in preschool. Just my humble opinion.

Marlene

As a preschool teacher myself I am a bit biased...but YES I think its very important! Is there a way you can sit in the classroom or if that woudl be too much of a distraction to her is there an observation room or somewhere where you can "spy" on her without her spotting you? I would create a bond with her teacher by asking questions every time she goes there, like what did they notice that she liked, if she participated in the art activities, circle time, etc... I think that being in a preschool environment helps them gain invaluable social skills that we as parents just can't teach them (no matter how much we think we can ) they learn how to give and take (for the most part), how to play in a group, how to tell others to knock it off if need be...ect. I remember very clearly sitting in on each of the girls first days of Kindergarten and being able to pick out the kids who had never seen the inside of a classroom..they just looked so overwhelmed and wanted to touch everything, which is understandable, but the kids who had been in preschool knew that there would be a time when they got to play with the toys, they were able to sit and listen to a story, follow directions better, etc. I'm not at all saying that all kids who go to preschool are sweet well behaved children, we all know that is just not the case, and that not all kids who don't go to preschool will be out of control either, but I do think that going to preschool does give them a head start on the whole social thing as well as a leg up on the education part too...IF you have them in a good quality preschool, which can be so hard to find I know! Sorry for rambling, but I feel pretty passionatly about this! Good luck!

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~~Shawn~~ Wife to John 7/6/95~~Mommy to Sydney, Jordan and Brooklyn~~

I might be on my own when I say this and I am not trying to start a world war either. I think preschool is important but I don't think Montesorri Preschool is worth it or anything. I have taught at both normal preschools and a montesori preschool at the montessori preschool of course they learned things like the contients and divison and stuff but I noticed the whole time the kids were there except for an hour or so (When they were running around outside with a little play house and a hill) They weren't playing they were WORKING constantly. I didn't really like that I was thinking let them be kids too. There were alot of shady things going on at the one I was working at too and when I would mention something they were like ok we'll fix it and never did lots of lies and broken promises! I am not saying that all montessori schools are shady.

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Mom of one kangaroo!

I sent DD to preschool for one year then she had the opportunity to attend kindergarten early so she missed her second year. We ended up sending DD to preschool mostly because our area schools are highly competitive and strongly academic. Once DD entered kindergarten there was a HUGE gap among the kids who had attended preschool and the kids who had kindergarten as their first school experience. In one case, there was a little girl who ended up going to preschool for three years due to her birthdate and she was reading chapter books in kindergarten! On the other hand, some kids who were attending school for the first time could barely use scissors.

I'm not of the opinion that preschool is good, nor necessary. I think I did as much academically with DD at home as she did in preschool. Still, in DD's case it was important that she learn things I couldn't teach her at home. She's an only child and she was struggling with concepts like following rules in a group environment.

That said, we originally enrolled DD in what we thought was one of the best preschools for her. However, it wasn't long before it was obvious that things weren't working out. she even asked me to come to the class to observe what was going on - unusual for a 4-yr old. I did, and quickly saw why DD was miserable.

Just because it's a good school, that doesn't mean it is the best school FOR YOUR CHILD. We switched her to a school that I originally thought would be a horrible fit for DD and she thrived!

I agree - your child is only 4 years old. All this is a learning process - for you and your child. If something isn't working out, sometimes the best option IS to quit. Sometimes we DO want to re-enforce that if our child is having a problem they should speak up and we'll listen to them.

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"I've been rich and I've been poor but independently wealthy is where it is at."

"Unlike most traditional classrooms, in which teachers impose lessons upon a group of children organized by age, Montessori creates an environment in which the teacher plays the role of facilitator as each child satisfies his or her own inherent urge to learn and develop. Further, as Montessori does not segregate children by age, older children share their skills and knowledge with younger ones. This not only acts as an important motivator, as the younger ones emulate their more advanced peers. It also serves to develop crucial social skills as well.

In short, Montessori teaches children how to learn. What is more, it does so at a critical age -- two through six years -- when their receptivity to new concepts is most keen and core aspects of their personalities are being formed. Through Montessori they discover that the will, ability and skills to learn are inside each of them rather than provided externally. And in so doing, it helps provide a foundation of self confidence and esteem that can serve them for the rest of their lives."

We visited several other traditonal preschool classrooms last year. The children were either sitting at a desk or laying on a mat taking a nap. The teacher showed us examples of the worksheets the children did. I think preschool should be a non-worksheet environment.

The children at my daughter's school chose their own work until they have group time. They are working constantly but it isn't like they are being pushed.

Noahsmommy, it doesn't sound like you were working with a very good school. What a shame.

Yeah I agree I was working at a horrible school. I was doing everything and running around like a chicken with my head cut off all the time cause one of the ladies that worked there was a HORRIBLE teacher she was very mean to the kids she told one of them who had been in and out of foster care that he would never amount to anything and that he can't do anything right. She also drug the kids around too. I told the director every time it happened and they didnt do ANYTHING about it. I ended up having to call in one day because I was having MAJOR family problems with my ex and then the directors husband who was a total JERK and an a-hole called and was like I wish I could say you were help but you weren't. I was mortified and bawling that night. I was completely blind sided too cause his wife (the director) was telling me how I was doing a wonderful job and how I was going to become full time in August and everything. No one ever told me I was doing anything wrong and personally I know I wasn't! I worked very hard there. Made sure to ask questions when need be. I was amazed by the Montesorri method and impressed that the kids knew so much. I think the concept is great Just wished there was more play time because kids grow up so fast. At the school I worked at pushed the kids you HAD to be working or you got in trouble.

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Mom of one kangaroo!

The whole point of Montessori philosophy is that children have a natural desire to learn and if we surround them with the tools they need, they will learn until their inner desires are satisifed. That is truly learning on the most profound level. Yes, children learn through playing, but when Montessori kids are working, they don't look at it as work. I can't describe it any better but I've seen it in action. They want to do all that stuff, and if they don't want to do a particular work, it isn't pushed on them. Traditional schools are a little different. They cover a subject, you get it or you don't and if you don't you're behind. Montessori addresses each child's individual learning journey.

Off soapbox now. Can you tell I love Montessori?

I feel that IF you are disciplined enough to teach your child what she needs to move into Kindergarten that maybe she doesn't need to go to preschool. However she should have some sort of interaction with other children so she can get use to the classroom dynamics.

I'm not sure i would keep her in the place that she is. Doesn't sound like there is much communication between the teacher and you.

Isn't there any other preschools in your area that you could check out?

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Jodie....Wife to Andrew (1995)
Mommy to Riley (2000) and Wyatt (2003)