My daughter will be 5 in July and our cutoff date is Sept. 15, so I am having a difficult time deciding whether to go ahead and send her this fall or wait another year. My husband thinks we should wait a year. I don't want her to struggle being one of the youngest but I don't know how it will affect her being the oldest . Her preschool teacher says she is ready, she has tested as a 5-6 yrold on all of the tests. The only thing my husband has a concern about is her speech, she speaks so softly that it is hard to understand her sometimes but we just set her up to work with the speech pathologist. I have read alot of posts here but it is mostly for boys. I would like to hear from someone with girls in this same dilemma and maybe someone that has gone thru this and now they are teenagers and how being the youngest or oldest has affected them.
Thanks!

Every child is different...only you (and your Dh) can make this decision. Is your DD in preschool? That might be a good place to start asking questions and voicing your concerns. You can also call up the school where your child will be attending and find out when they do their testing, talk to one of the kindergarten teachers etc

What is it like where you live? Do people generally hold back their summer birthday kids? They do here. I have boys - one with a Sept. birthday and one with an Aug. birthday - and we have a Sept. 1 cutoff. We will hold the younger one back for sure. Older ds had 3 kids with summer birthdays in his kindergarten class last year (2 boys and 1 girl) and they ALL repeated kindergarten this year. I thought he would be the oldest in his class but nearly all the kids had turned 6 by Christmas. It really is the trend where I live. We are in a great elementary district but our public schools start going downhill in middle school and nearly everyone goes private. Competition is tough for spots and the parents want their kids to have every advantage. I'm not saying it is right, it is just the way it is....

Does your elementary school have a speech teacher? My dd turned 5 this past Sept 10th and our cut off was Sept 29th, so she is one of the youngest in the class (but definitely tall for her age). She was tested and was ready for Kindergarten. She goes out of her class 30 min 3x a week to work with the speech teacher and has greatly improved in her speech this year. You said your dd speaks softly so that you don't understand her is it her pronunciation your not understanding or because she isn't speaking loud enough for you to understand?

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The speech pathologist says she doesn't say her "s" example she says tar instead of star. She knows how to say but the speech pathologist said we just need to slow her down, and she sent home some flash cards to work with her. I can understand very well but I think it is because I am around her all the time and the teachers have never complained about not being able to understand her at school. My husband just doesn't want her to be labeled in school and he doesn't want her self confidence to be destroyed.

My son who is 7 is in the 1st grade and still does like your dd does by omitting the "s" and saying poon instead of spoon. He has been in speech a total of four years now. I definitely know what you mean about not wanting her self confidence destroyed. My son is just now in first grade having a few kids giving him a hard time about not understanding him. We had our annual IEP meeting today for him and the teachers said find out which kids are giving him a hard time and they will talk to them about it.

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I have a weird opinion about this. I have a girl in a similar situation and am sending her. She is also in speech, but I am confident that she will be fine as she is very bright and has done well in preschool since she was 2.

I know that maybe I was more sensitive than most, but I HATED being the tallest girl, and I actually prayed each day that I would not "blossom" or would not start my period before anyone else. I was one of the youngest in my class and if I had been held back, I think I would have been a mental case. Not only that, but I stayed consistantly at the top of my class. If my dd were going to be a tiny, petite little thing, then maybe I would wonder if I were doing the right thing, but all signs point to her being verrrrry tall. (DH is really tall)

We have a 4 year old teacher that has taught in kindergarten for years and she is confident that everything is on track, the speech therapist thinks that she can have her all cleaned up before school starts and even though I am not ready to turn loose of her 5 days a week - she is going.

One of the biggest confidence boosters I have had is spending so much time in my ds's kindergarten class this year. dd could easily be in the middle of this class right now. Girls really do mature faster socially on average. There is a kindergartner in one of the other classes that I thought was a 2nd grader - she was held back to be (by far) the oldest and she is a trouble-making ringleader. Of course, not all girls are capable of that, but older is not always better.

The weirdest part of all this? I held my son back, which might appear to be a double standard, but I assure you - there are a whole other set of issues with him. I would like to tell you that the decision you make will be the right one, but I can't. Sometimes neither choice is right or wrong, but I am still certain at least 90% of the time that we made the right choice - that's the best I can hope for in parenting!!!

While I truely believe it is an individual decision, I would send her. My dd has a Sept 4th birthday. They would not let me send her to kindergarden since the cut off is Sept 1st. I just could not see holding her back a year. She was already bored with preschool. So I sent her to a year of Montessori (I worked at the school) and then just enrolled her in the public school for 1st grade. She has always been the youngest one in her grade and she has always been tiny. She is in 9th grade now and has never had a single problem. She is getting almost all A's in school and is very well adjusted and has lots of friends. Heck, she is taking extra credits to try to graduate early!!! (totally her idea!)

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~Happiness is a large family~

My dd#2 has a July birthday and our cutoff for School age is Sept.1. She was ready to go to kindergarten when she turned 5. She is now 9 and has always done well in school. She has never received anything below an 85% on any of her report cards. My dd did not have any speech issues, but I know children who have had them and get help from a speech pathologist at school. If her preschool teacher things she is ready then I would send her ( I am an assistant preschool teacher and see this kind of thing all the time and have people ask about their kids). Talk to her teacher and voice your concerns to her. They will not tell you to send your child if she is not ready. Most Preschool teachers know the requirements of their area Kindergartens and know if a child will be able to handle it.
Does she recognize her Letters? Numbers? Can she write her name? Write her letters and numbers?
Good luck with your decision.

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~Jill~

My DD will be 5 on June 25th, our cutoff date is Sept 1. We plan to send DD, I know she is ready and she is excited about going to school. I have no doubt that she will do well.

Good luck making this tough decision.

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DD-13
DD-5
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