Ok my almost 3 year old toddler has been going through a stage that she is scared of certain people. I do not know what to do. Today we went to a birthday party and she did not like a guy there so she literally cried on and off for an hour. I reasured her that he would not hurt her and he was nice. And to make it worst he is an uncle of hers that she never sees. He is scary looking, especially for a toddler but he is very nice. However, my family doesn't understand and they get pissed off when she does things like this. She is very sensitive and forgets nothing. Does anyone have any advise for me of what I can try and do. She only sees him like once or twice a year, but when she does it we have to end up leaving cause I just can't take it. Thanks for any advise.

Does your dd do this with him only or with with various groups of people? Are the people she's scared of mostly men or women? Has anyone from that sex hurt her or you or anything else? I forgot what its like to have such a small kid around me my kids were never like this, so im no huge help or anything. Maybe you should explain this to your fam so that they can be more understanding. It baffles me that they get pi$$ed off at you instead of helping you.

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You must be the change you want to see in the world ~ Gandhi

I wish I could offer you some advice, however I'm afraid the best I can do is offer you up lots of sympathy.

I too have one of those children. My youngest DD, now 5 is the same way and has been since birth. When she was just a few hours old both my FIL and my BIL came to visit at the hospital and she screamed her head off as they held her. She still doesn't want to be any where within touching distance of them but will play with them now at a distance. What we came to discover was that it was anyone with facial hair that set her off. Except daddy, he has a mustache and that is ok with her, but for anyone else this does not apply. Even Santa is a no no with her. She is curious, but she has to maintain a distance from these people. And if we find ourselves at a store or something where distance is not possible she clings harder than ever to mom or dad. SHe use to cry and whatnot, but has since gotten past that part as long as we don't force her to be any closer than she has to, to hairy men.

I don't understand the reason for her fear, especially since it has been there from birth, but we just muttle and reassure. And explain a lot to those wonderful family members who think it is all silly that while it may be silly to them, it is very real to her.

Now as for advice on how to handle the POed family members, just do what I do. Tell them it is ok for them to be pissed off at you, just don't piss you off. Hell hath no fury like a POed mom, and God won't save you either!!!

Hang in there mommy, and remember that her fears are very real. Forcing the issue with her is only going to add to the trauma.

She's only 3, she can't help it if someone scares her. My ds is 21 months and he cries whenever he sees my SIL. We don't see her very often so he is not used to her. I feel bad but he is just a child and I think adults should understand. No one should be pi$$ed at a child for that.

The only thing, besides time, that I found that helped is to let my child see my interaction w/the person. Some big guys, especially w/facial hair, scare my kids (think Santa!). I've also seen them shy away from loud, boisterous people, including women. They watch me interact, and I let them know, quietly, that so and so is a good guy. I wouldn't force it, and if others are ignorant to the sensitivities of a child, educate who is worth it and ignore the others. Good thing I'm not a politician, huh?

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