Time Out Question...???

CRepetti · **Time Out Question...???**

My question is...how do/did you ladies discipline your almost 2 year old?

My youngest is 23 months old. She is really starting to throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way lately and she has even hit a time or two when she is in the middle of her fits. I am getting very frustrated!

Please share your secrets with me! Thanks!

ChickyHip · 05-18-2008, 10:47 PM

With Bob I just had to try to stay calm and redirect him. I would tell him that hitting was wrong. I tried time outs at that age, but he still didn't really understand what the deal was. At home when he throws a tantrum, I ignore it and walk away from him.

liamsmom · 05-18-2008, 10:56 PM

My ds (just turned 2 last week) understands time outs, but they are VERY simple. In the very beginning, I would hold him and count to ten slowly in his ear. This worked really well for his tantrums, he would relax as I counted. If he continued, I would count to ten again. If he still continued, I either walk away from him at home and ignore him, or leave the store/restaurant immediately and sit in the car in his car seat until he calms down. Most of the time we can go back in. If he truly can't get past it, it's time to move on...I don't give in, but just a change of scenery and focus. Now when he starts to freak out, I just have to count to 3, he knows that if I get all the way, he gets a time out and now he will sit in a chair at least 1 minute. He also has to say he is sorry if needed. It took us about 6 months to get to this point. Start small and build and always be consistent, at least that's what worked for us. We still have our moments, though!

ChickyHip · 05-18-2008, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by liamsmom

My ds (just turned 2 last week) understands time outs, but they are VERY simple. In the very beginning, I would hold him and count to ten slowly in his ear. This worked really well for his tantrums, he would relax as I counted. If he continued, I would count to ten again.

I LIKE this idea. Thanks!

JVincent · 05-19-2008, 05:32 AM

I would say redirect and give time outs when needed. A time out doesnt have to be one minute per age, you can just have him go to the corner for 30 seconds to calm down. IMO 2 minutes is to long for a 2 yr old, esp. if you want to talk to him about it after, he wont even know what he did.

pinkgirl79 · 05-19-2008, 02:53 PM

Ds will be two next month, and is going through the exact same stage! He doesn't understand the time out thing yet though, so all I can do is walk a way when he throws a tantrum. Works sometimes, doesn't sometimes. I also try the calm voice asking him to talk to me nicely, but that never works!

kmGA · 05-20-2008, 04:18 AM

DS has been getting time outs since he was a year old. I think he spends roughly 85% of his life there!

We have a special spot in the living room and he knows exactly what to do. He has to sit there until the time is up. I always say 2 minutes (b/c he is 2) but I don't actually time it. I figure he doesn't know the difference. I just make it long enough for him to chill out. Then I count down backwards from 5 to let him know his time is up and he has to come talk tome about why he had a time out and say he is sorry. Honestly, I watch Super Nanny and follow her advice!

averysmom712 · 05-20-2008, 01:42 PM

I can not be of any help to you except to let you know that you are not alone. Avery is going through the same thing. He stiffens out in this horrbile screaming fit and I sometime wonder if he is not possesed by something. I just try to calm him down and we will sit him down and count with him and tell him he is in time out. It is starting to work somewhat. I can tell he is calming down about midway through his minute of punishment. Please know you are not alone and I feel your pain.

I did want to add that I just purchased this Time Out Spot rug online to put in our house for a specific place for time out once he is a little older. The only chair we had his size is a wooden rocking chair that my grandfather gave him for Christmas and I did not want to use that for his time out chair. The good thing about this rug is that is is washable and portable so it can go wherever we go and he will know that the rules apply there, too.

check it out...Time Out Spots Discipline Headquarters. Time Out is a Very Effective Discipline Technique for Children as Young as 18-24 Months Old. These Disciplinary Rugs Mats, Available in Blue, Pink, and Brown, are a Great Way to Offer a Consistent Time Out Disc

:wave:

Cheesecake Lady · 05-20-2008, 05:10 PM

I haven't read the other replies, so I hope this isn't too much of a repeat. The main thing is to be consistant. At two years of age a time out can work but you will get frustrated because you are looking for a quick fix and this will take time.

They throw temper tantrums because they don't know how to use all their words. They want something and they want it now.

Remember to ALWAYS stay calm and collected, firm, and get down to her eye level. If you have a pack n play that might be better suited than a step or chair or corner (if she can't climb out of it). When she does something you need to discipline her for you without emotion take her (pick her up if you have to) to the time out spot. Look her in the eye and tell her "Two minutes time out for ____". Then walk away and set your timer. When the time out is over go get her. Ask her at eye level what it is she needs and if mommy can help.

I disagree with having the child repeat what they did wrong or why they are in the time out because it reinforces the negative. I also don't agree with the apology or forcing them to tell you they love you - let's face it they are only saying it to get done with the timeout. I wan them to be heart felt, especially as they get older.

The biggest thing here is being consistant. Not giving chances and then on the fifth time you blow up - she is learning your hot button on how long she can get away with something, kwim? Yes it interupts our day, our flow, our routines, etc. But the sooner you nip this in the bud the sooner she will get out of the phase. If you show too much emotion or raise you voice to a yell, then they have won by getting your attention even if it is negative attention.

If you are in a public place you still need to stop the tantrum. Some will say let her tantrum it out, but if you are like me you are considering everyone else around you. Don't get me wrong, even though I'm embarrassed, that is not my main concern. I don't want to ruin someone elses day at the store or restaurant - they did not go out to expect that, nor should they have to deal with it. That is just me. If you are able to leave the restaurant and go sit outside with her for two minutes or in the car with her strapped in her seat for two minutes then perfect. If you are not, then tell her when you leave the restaurant or store she will get a time out at home - just make sure you follow through with it. If you are buying her a toy or something special during the outing, put it back and tell her it will have to wait until next time when she behaves better. After a few times she will get the picture loud and clear.

Don't get upset or raise your voice - stay calm, take a deep breath and know you are NOT a mean mom. You are a GREAT mom and you are teaching a life lesson.

HTH

CRepetti · 05-21-2008, 08:36 AM

Wow! Thank you for all of the feedback ladies!! I have read all of your comments and I have tried a few of your suggestions. I appreciate all of the help from my "Mommysavers Friends".

Thank you!