so, I pick up dd from school, and her teacher informs me that she is really outgoing, is smart..blah blah blah

then she tells me, she has had to have a talk with her, because she is bossy! LOL aren't all little girls?!!

In all seriousness, she is bossy to one little boy, who is our neighbor, who she plays with alot, and we take him home from school and vice versa.

this little boy is a puppet in dd's hands.... I have told her that he has his own brain and can do things for himself. He gets very agitated when she is not near him, and is constantly wanting her attention. the teacher even said that when dd is in the bathroom, he wants to be in there with her!

The teacher then tells me that he actually listens better to my dd than her and the teachers assistant!

what do you do with bossy little girls?

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married 9 years to a crazy Brit, mommy to a banana, she is 5 a pineapple who is 2 and a newborn sugarplum, mommy to 4 ~angel~ babies

LOL! You poor thing.

Just remember, these characteristics are things that will prove to be very valuable as adults but annoying as a child. She is a leader!

My diva NEVER stops talking. She is bossy, too. I try to remind her that everyone needs a turn speaking and she is not the mother. Sometimes it works.

I like how you said "sometimes it works" LOL

that is us too, sometimes

I cannot "force" ( for lack of better word ) this other boy to be an individual, maybe my dd is his security blanket right now. and I got to thinking, maybe she is a bit annoyed that he is always wanting her, and that is why she is being bossy....

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married 9 years to a crazy Brit, mommy to a banana, she is 5 a pineapple who is 2 and a newborn sugarplum, mommy to 4 ~angel~ babies

I could've written this post myself about dd#2. WHat to do? LOL!

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AKA Mommyof2girls

FWIW, I think being bossy is one of those things you can only speak to them about, and remind them each day.

My Ds now 12 was a talker - in first and second grades I would have that same talk (or note) from the teacher about twice a week. How I was supposed to fix this from home I still do not understand, but I would just remind him EVERY day about it. Sometimes it worked.

In third grade he had a male teacher who didn't have an issue with it, and luckily that's also the year Ds started to grow out of it, for lack of a better term.

i agree with rskmom all you can really do is remind her when she goes to school. i don't think there is anything wrong with having a confident daughter. if she was hurting someone feelings and it was causing problems that way thats one thing but obviously the neighbor boy does not mind.

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SILENCE IS GOLDEN BUT DUCK TAPE IS SILVER.

When I see my girls being bossy I point it out to them and they usually correct their behavior. Many times the thing that helps the most is when 2 bossy kids get together, and then they realize how it feels to be bossed around.
It's a fine line. Yes you want a dd who is confident and a leader, but it can lead to problems with friendships and learning the art of compromise. It's a battle every mom has faced.

Question: is the oldest of your bunch? I think being the oldest also makes kids a little "take chargish" over others.

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I'm a little bothered that teacher told you your child was "bossy". That's on the no no word list for teachers when describing students to parents (at least in my training) I had a list of words that had negative connotations like "bossy", "hyper", and "defiant" and it had suggestions for better words to use instead like "strong leader", "full of energy" and "pushes the boundaries and rules". I hope I am mistaken and she didn't use the word "bossy".

Just remind her in the morning that it is okay for other kids to be in charge, that she is a good leader, but she needs to give other kids a chance to practice their "leader skills". Talk about how she can help the other kids learn how to be a good leader by being a good example and showing them that everyone needs a chance. Kids this age are pretty easy to mold when you give them a responsibility and they feel important.

she did use the word bossy, more than once

dh and I were talking about it, and she is a very confident social leader, dh was pretty upset that she called he that. He wants to know how she as a teacher is going to channel her in that respect... she is our oldest child.

I have told her this morning, to let the little boy use his own voice and brain and not be his mommy, so to speak. I will remind her of this.

You are right, deemom, it is not nice to be bossed around, and certainly she would not like to be bossed around by another child.

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married 9 years to a crazy Brit, mommy to a banana, she is 5 a pineapple who is 2 and a newborn sugarplum, mommy to 4 ~angel~ babies