DS is turning 4 next month and in the past month or two he's gotten such a HORRIBLE attitude. He's raising his fists at me (sometimes swinging at me) and pointing at me when he gets angry. (And I don't do either, so he's not copying me on that one.) He's mouthing off and acting bratty. He's going through this stage where if he doesn't get what he wants right away, he starts to whimper (he sounds like an injured dog) and then if he still doesn't get his way, he growls at us. He's so stubborn - has been all his life so far - and will refuse to give in just b'c he's so hard-headed. We put him in time out, we take his privileges/toys away. We've even spanked him. Nothing. Is this an age-related thing?? I'm going nuts and I feel like I'm losing control of him! Family members look at me like I just let him freely act like that and I am a bad parent for not raising him to be better behaved. They've even mentioned other people's kids that were "perfect angels, saying 'yes sir' and 'yes ma'am', and politely following directions -- at half his age". I'm going crazy and I feel like the world's crappiest mom -- I can't deal with only one child, is this why I haven't been given any more???

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It sounds to me like if he is doing the dog whimper/growling...that is the best way he knows how to express his feelings. So my best advice would be to get him to talk about his feelings and maybe give him some suggestions on how to appropriately express his anger....count to 10, deep breathing, maybe draw a picture about what he is mad about, etc.... If he is just too out of control to listen to you "talk" to him I would say "I don't understand dog language, mommy can talk to you when you are ready to use your big boy words"

I'm reading this book right now and it's pretty good. My 6 1/2 yo dd has been very mouthy and disrespectful lately. I'm implemented a few tips from the book over the past 2 nights and so far the result has been good.

Good luck!

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Jennifer
dd Sarah 1/4/02
ds Brady 1/15/07

I think it must be an age thing. I have a 4 1/2 year old DS and we are facing the same issues, attitude, raising fists, pointing fingers, etc. I have noticed that it seems to be directly related to how much sleep he has had or how much TV he has been watching.

The one thing that I have found that helps is to put him in time out for the original misbehaving, then release him from time out, talk to him about what he did and then turn around and send him to time out for raising his fists, or pointing or making a face, whatever it was. For some reason going back to time out really seems to get his attention instead of just extending the time that he is there.

Hope this helps. Just know that you are not a bad mom. There are many of us facing the same issues.

I feel for you. Our 4 year old son is acting much the same way. Dh seems to be able to handle it better than I do. He puts him on our bed, tells him to stay there until he's ready to be nice, then closes the door and leaves him. Eventually ds will tire of fussing to an empty room decide to come out and be nice.

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“The state cannot get a cent for any man without taking it from some other man, and this latter must be a man who has produced and saved it. This latter is the Forgotten Man.”
-- William Graham Sumner

I use this system and have had nothing but success from it, with all 6 of our kids it has worked wonders!
Hope this helps
Mommy
C.J.'s Site - Children and discipline

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If life is a bowl full of cherrie's,
then why am I in the pits?!!
~Erma Bombeck

I put two & two together the other day and realized this! (direct relation to sleep/tv) Since then, the tv has been drastically cut down to a couple shows a day, which HAS helped. And the past couple days he hasn't been able to nap, but he could have today and desperately needed it. He zonked hardcore on the couch tonight 2 hours before bedtime and it took nearly an act of God to get him awake and moving around to keep him up a while so he'd sleep normally through the night. The worst attitude is in the morning, before Daddy wakes up for work, when it is just DS and I and we're having to be quiet so Daddy can sleep. I'm constantly battling keeping him quiet & doing whatever it takes to do so versus sticking to my guns and disciplining him as needed (which always ends up louder for longer). Our house is only 700 square feet, with no insulation in the inner walls, so it immediately wakes up his father. anyway, i digress. like i said, the worst is in the morning; i've been wondering if he's just not sleeping well so he's waking up tired.

DH is better at handling it too. I've caved too many times, usually at times where things needed to be quiet and calm so I've let him get away with it. now he believes I'm the softie and he can still get away with it, so it's more of a struggle with me. I'm relieved it's a good portion of "that age", but at the same time, that means I have to deal with the same thing with any other kids we have too!

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