We never have had parties until they were 4 really and those were simple cake and ice cream parties. All the kids want, I have discovered, is to come to their friends houses and play at parties. Nothing more is needed and the kids have a great time.

I don't understand parties under four, but that is me.

To begin with, as a military family, we've never really been near enough to our good friends and families for anything very big, but to be honest, I just can't justify the expenditure of a big party for a child who won't even remember it!
I bake a cake, and we sing and open gifts and that's pretty much it!
Of course, now that my daughter is in preschool, I hear that it's customary to bring cupcakes on the big day. (I heard it specifically from my daughter, who now tells me that her birthday is "tomorrow", on a daily basis. Hmmmm.)

We don't even have the grandparents over for a birthday party. So far they have been just dh, myself and the boys. I figure there will be time in the future for birthday parties with friends--and a bigger house to accomodate everyone.

Ds 1 and 2nd birthdays were pretty small (7 including us). 3/4/5 were maybe maybe 12-15 people - still family and close friends. 6 was a big one, his whole class + parents - 90 people at Pump It Up. This year 7, he can choose 7 kids and he's having a bowling party - 2 lanes of 4 each - perfect!

Personally I like smaller ones when they are little - less overwhelming IMO. But I don't have a problem with big ones either...but you are definitely not alone!!