Hi! I am new to both this website and to this thread and had a couple of questions for you ladies. My DH and I already have two wonderful DS's and are both totally on board as far as having one more (last) child. Our problem is this:
1. Our boys are only 16 months apart, which was hard at first, but we LOVE it now. How do we know what age spread we should try for? (Our youngest is 11 months.) We don't want them too close together, yet we don't want such a large age gap that our kids have nothing in common......
2. Were any of you scared that you might be spreading yourself too thin by having a third?
3. What kind of financial changes did you notice after having a third child?
Thank you for taking time to read this! If any of you ladies have any advice for me, I'd love to hear from you!

My two oldest are 364 days apart (yes, they are the same age for 1 day!). I loved it! It was a little difficult in the beginning, but it worked out great! They are now almost 20 & 21 My youngest will be 11 in Aug. Too much of an age gap! An age gap of 2 yrs is good, in my opinion. I also think that it's "cheaper" to have them closer together...except, of course, when they get to high school and need all kinds of $$ for sports, trips, graduation, etc. But, on the other hand, you know what to expect, and can start saving..KWIM?

I have a DSS who is 6, a DD who is 4 and a DS who is 3 and we have one on the way. At first it was difficult with them being close, now we love it. We weren't really planning this baby, but all the kids are sooooo excited about it and want to help with everything. 3.5 years is a bit more time between then we had wanted, but we aren't anticipating any problems!

I think whenever you have them will be fine. I have all kinds of spreads in my family. My oldest was almost 4 when my next was born and those two were very close. Then next kid came 3.5 yrs later and that was great too!!! Unfortunately, my second child died at age 6.5 leaving a 7 yr gap between my girls. But they are still very close at ages 21 and almost 14. My fourth child is 4 yrs younger than my dd, next is 359 days younger, and next 15 months after that. So, I have three boys that are 27 months total apart, and it has always worked really well for us! My little one came 3 yrs later. There is not that much added expense to another child unless you have daycare. Whatever you decide will work for your family.

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~Happiness is a large family~

we had wanted about 3 years between - that just seemed right. But things did not work and now our oldest is 8 and we are 35 weeks pregnant. CJ is thrilled and I know he will be a great helper so I am not worried about the age thing. yes closer would have been better but you know I was not getting pg and it took 5 years of trying to get the 2nd one we wanted.

Now I am also going to say there is a pretty good chance we will go for # 3 pretty quickly after baby Ben is born and take away the 3 year age gap. I am 36 already and dh is 12 years older then me, so we don't want to wait to long this time.

it really depends on what you feel is best for your family. you are the only ones who can make that decision.

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Live life to the fullest you don't know when it will all end!!!

Thank you all so much for giving me your advice!! I work very part-time right now (1 1/2 days per week) and the only thing holding us back from starting the TTC process is making sure we have a significant amount saved up just in case my DH gets laid off, which is not all that uncommon in his line of work. I will then stay at home full-time, but I am sure you all know the importance of having an "emergency savings account". How much (realistically) would be enough? Two months income, three, six????
Again, thank you all so much for your advice... I appreciate talking to ladies who have been there, done that....
You have all been so nice to me!

My four boys are 2 years or slightly less than 2 yrs apart and we love it. They play together well.
As far as how much $ to have in savings it all really depends- obviously the more the better.
It depends on how fast you would run thru the $, how soon your dh could get another job if he lost it. If you had like 6 months saved up- that would give a 6 month window to look for another job and not fell so pressured into finding a job just to pay the bills and not getting the best job. Good luck

My girls are 21 months apart. That was hard in the beginning, but is great now. I am pregnant with #3 and my little one will be 2yrs9months when this one is born. I am looking forward to the bigger gap, but it's not too big.
As far as an emergenct savings, what field is your dh in? Are those jobs easy to come by? I would say any where from 3-6 months saved up.
I haven't thought about "speading myself thin" as you asked. Older dd starts preschool in the fall. So 3 days a week I will just have 2 kids for a couple hours. Then next year she will start kindergarten. It may be hard at first, but just getting into a routine will help.

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Austin
Mom to 3 beautiful girls

Maybe it is just me but I would like to have my kids closer together then further apart. My SILs kids are 12 years apart and they are so different right now that there roles as sibblings are more of a care giver and Im going to rebel type of thing. I am currently want to get PG with my 2nd dd is 13 months.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

We have had our kids close together too, and I agree that it's hard work, but it will definately pay off in the long run. Mine are 15mos apart, then 2 years. I think that the 2 years apart is better. This one will be 18 mos from my youngest. Whatever you decide for your family will work. It always works out in the long run. Good luck!