and when babies sleep in bed with parents. My friend's cousin lost her 6 week old girl this last weekend. They haven't done the autopsy yet, but they are thinking SIDS. They had to go to the police station after the hospital, go into separate rooms, and police questioned her and her husband. One officer told her "You will regret it till the day you die sleeping with your baby in the same bed as you". What a horrible thing to say to a mother who just lost her child.
I know it has happened that parents roll on the baby and it suffocates. They are racked with guilt over this. She woke up and the baby was laying beside her, her airway was not obstructed (no blankets, pillows, or anything covering her). Does anyone know if sleeping in the same bed with baby is one of the factors that may contribute to SIDS?

I have heard of it by the women I babysit for her Dr told her all about the harm she was doing to her baby by sleeping with her. I have never seem any facts but what I have seen is what is the best sleeping conditions and why your bed may not be safe, Firm ness, excess blankets, the space between the mattress and the head board...etc. things like that. I am very sorry for your friends loss, and will keep them in my prayers.

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I have nothing to add but that police officer should be slapped silly. What a stupid thing to say. He should regret saying that for the rest of his life. Idiot!

I've actually heard it both ways. What a horrible thing for that policeman to say.

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Wendy~Self-proclaimed hippie momma to Bob and Jamie

Oh my gosh! I can't even imagine the horror of waking up to find my baby dead beside me. I would be an utter basketcase. My deepest condolences to your friend.

I do believe in the family bed and have practiced it for years with our children and grandchildren. There were many a night that I brought the baby to bed with us simply because I was so worried about her (we have mostly girls) that I wanted her nearby. We've never had a problem. As a matter of fact, if I walked up to the crib the next morning the devastation would be exactly the same. I'd be tortured for the rest of my life wondering why I didn't keep her near so I could have been there the moment she needed me.

Please remind your friend that she did all she could to keep her baby safe. There is NOTHING she did wrong that would have caused this. It happens. We don't know why it happens. Our only hope is one day we may find a cause so it can be prevented.

An autopsy - gosh. To add further pain to the agony, the idea of having to have my perfect, precious baby cut up is unfathomable. I'll hold your friends and their baby's soul in my heart and mind for a very long time.

As far as statistics ... the only time I've heard of parents actually smothering a baby is when the parents are on drugs or using alcohol that prevents them from waking up. There have been some studies that indicate that excessively overweight people are more likely to not feel the baby under them. Additionally, the only other concern is if the baby rolls and get caught between the bed and the mattress. For this reason, sleeping with a baby on a water bed is too dangerous. Otherwise, normal caring parents typically are NOT at a higher risk for SIDs if they practice the family bed.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

I do think that I have heard that there is a correlation between a baby sleeping with you and SIDS. I also know that my mom's friend lost a niece this way and they told her that all of her other babies if she ever had more, could be tested for SIDS to determine if they were at high risk. Supposedly, it can be very genetic.

We do not do the family bed thing, but I do think that the devastation would be the same whether they were in my bed or not. You have still lost a child.

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I don't know if they can report that police officer for his awful comment, but I sure hope they try. That guy needs a good thrashing and then some sensitivity training.

I'm so sorry for those parents. What a nightmare.

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Cheers!
-- Suzie, mommy to Katarina (02.22.2005) and Sebastian (10.18.2007)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fluttergirl

They are ripe for a lawsuit.

My sister's baby died of SIDS and he was in his crib! If he'd been sleeping with her, he'd probably be alive.

They did this crap to her, also. Separated her and her dh, questioned them in their numb state, got worse when the emotions showed, and the investigation took 3 months. They went through their things, including family photos. They were horrible, but to them, they were just doing their job. Of course, the autopsy showed nothing.

I used a snugglenest when my baby was young. You just have to take precautions, and it helps to be a light sleeper, which most moms are when baby is so little.

My condolences to her. She was still a great mom.

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Make someone's heart smile today.

So so sorry.... (((HUGS)))

We co sleep, and I have heard both ends of the straw on this topic. The only thing I can say is there is great danger when one drinks, smokes or is on meds ( like sleeping pills )... other wise, it is a great debate.

In any case, so sorry for your friend. I hope that police officer gets something nasty for his nasty comment.

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Mommy to a banana ( she's 4 ) and a pineapple ( 11 months ), married to a crazy Brit

Ugh, that officer! Hope karma bites him for being so heartless. By the way both kids shared the bed with us and still migrate over during the night today. I'm sure the risks can be higher but I was such a light sleeper when my kids were newborns. SIDS can happen anywhere.