Does anyone else ever feel like they are the only people not pregnant? My ds is 19 mos and we have been TTC #2 for about 5 months (I kinda have relaxed trying in the last month because I needed a mental break). It seems like everyone around me either has a new baby or is pregnant. Just yesterday I found out about two more aquaintances who have kids about ds's age that are pregnant again.

I know that it will happen at the right time for us and we really aren't in a hurry, but sometimes I feel like such a loser. With ds it happened right away, why isn't it working this time? Everyone else seems to be able to do it....

Plus I keep getting stupid advice from people like "just get liquored up and go for it!", don't you think we've tried that??? Or I get told "it will happen when you relax and stop thinking about it", which is pressure in a different way. I really try to not think about it and that makes me think about not thinking about it!!

I have received some great advice and references to books from friends who have felt these frustrations before. We're not at the point yet where I feel the need to go crazy with research and I've learned to do the temp, cervical fluid check, etc. We have a long time before I need to worry, so why do their babies make me feel so pressured? Am I losing it?

Has anyone else ever felt this way? How do you keep yourself from feeling like a loser? How do you respond to the constant "are you pregnant yet?" questions and the inappropriate advice? What have you done to relax and let it go?

TIA for the advice, I appreciate it!!

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Doing my best to raise a GEEK- Genuine Enthusiastic Empowered Kid!

No, you aren't the only one not pregnant. We've been trying for 3-4 months, but I feel like I've missed drinking the water that all my preg friends have had lately. I felt better after I talked to my doctor at my annual check up. If we aren't pregnant by June, then I go back to start figuring out why we aren't pregnant yet. Just knowing I had a plan made me feel better. He told me not to even start charting temps until May--otherwise just relax and see what happens. I felt like I could deal with that. We'll see. In the meantime, if I feel bummed I just remind myself that at least I can have a glass of wine at dinner while my preg friends can't. That usually perks me up.

Yep. Me too. We're closing out month #5 trying for #3 with no luck so far. I've been charting temps, fluids, etc. for the last three months...this last month was so wacky I can't even tell if I ovulated !! Oh well. Hopefully with the holidays past now, I'll be able to relax and not let the stress get to me. It will happen when God wants it to happen I figure.

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Stephanie
Mom to: Caleb (8-27-2003), Ian (9-28-2005), & Baby Boy #3 (EDD 11-9-2008)

Elizabeth I could have wrote your post my DD is 20 months and we too have been trying for number 2 I have so many pregant friends. Last month was the worse 51 Day cycle and two negative pregnacy tests. So its even harder if you are still irregular. So we will keep working at it. I am no longer even keeping track of what day I am on or how long my cycles it will happen when it happens and for me the more laid back I can be the better my chances.

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Kimberly Proud Mommy to Bethany Rose April 2006

I feel exactly the same way. I was at a meeting for work and in the meeting there were three girls there all pregnant and it seems like they all just had babies not too long ago.

We have been TTC baby #1 for almost a year now. I just went to see the doctor and it was decided that I am not ovulating so we will try clomid once all the other tests come back.

The whole "just relax and don't worry about it and it will happen" comment is really making me angry now because that isn't going to help me ovulate.

I am with you all too! We have been trying for 7 months now and I am getting really discouraged! My daughter is 3 and I feel like if we wait any longer she will be 12 by the time we have the next one. It took us one month of seroius trying last time and this time I feel like it is so scientific...between basal body temp. and last month I tried the ovulation predictor tests! I have tried to be laid back about it all and I know when its right it will happen, but it sure is frustrating month after month. I can relate with you all.....

I am experiencing the same thing, but for slightly different reasons. When DS#1 was 8 mos old, we conceived our second child, Bernadette. But she passed away, and I delivered her stillbirth on Oct 17. One of the things I really struggled with was that DS wouldn't have a sibling close to his age like we expected. It's been 11 weeks, and I still haven't ovulated yet. So, I have this irrational fear that it will be months before I'm fertile. The thought of going through another 9 months of pregnancy frightens me to tears, but at the same time, I'm dying to have another one - not to replace Bernadette, of course - but so that our family can continue to grow (we want to have a large family). The days seem very long when you're TTC, huh?!

What I'm learning from a Natural Family Planning board I'm on is that every post-partum period is different, so just b/c we conceived Jack and Bernadette very quickly, it may take longer this time around to become fertile.

Good luck to you!
Michele
My O Baby

Nope...I'm not preggo...I was a little concerned recently, as my period hasn't been regular since weaning dd. But I'm 45. With both mine born with minor, correctable and corrected birth issues, I'm afraid whether a third bullet would be dodged.

And I've never heard of alcohol consumption making you more fertile.

mbell, I just read your blog with a heavy heart. I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and strength in dealing with one of the unexplainable things.

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Make someone's heart smile today.

The Really Needy, Special, Networking and Talking Mod

I was just thinking about this thread yesterday when I took another test. Negative. Dh was bummed too. So, I ate some chocolate (comfort food) and tried to determine my next ovulation days. Gotta keep looking up. Eventually we'll get it.

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Wife to the best husband ever.
Mommy to the cutest dog in the world!
Human twin babies due Oct. 11, 2008

mbell..A friend of mine had 3 children pretty easily (I think she had one miscarriage somewhere in the middle). Then after her third...she had 1 more miscarriage and then about a 2 years ago..she lost her little girl Alyssa at 28 weeks because she developed some kind of virus. So needless to say, her last pregnancy scared the crap out of her!

I was a couple months ahead of her pregnancy with my own daughter at the time so even though I hadn't had her loss. I understood because once I started to feel my own baby kick at 16 weeks, then found out she was a girl at 20 weeks..I would have been DEVASTATED if anything had happened to her. So my friend and I talked alot..she vented to me...we both held our breath during her 28th week....and guess what....

She had a beautiful baby boy...right on time...he is happy and healthy...6 weeks younger than mine...I fell in love with him when I babysat him this past summer! He is 9 months old now and doing very very well! It's not how my friend would have planned...I mean her other children are 16, 12, and 8.....but her little boy has brought the whole family together and the other children love him and care for him and even though it took so long for her to finally complete her family (and her lost baby girl will always be with her)..she seems so happy! They all do!

I just wanted to share this story because I have watched someone who is very dear to me, go though something similar and it's awful...but I also think that she is more protective and appreciative of the children she has because she knows what it's like to lose a child. I know that probably doesn't take away your pain now, but maybe in the future, when you have all of your children and you look at your family and say.."Wow, this is what I wanted." You will think back and know that everything happens for a reason..even if we have no clue what that reason is.

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Bekah
Co-founder and CEO of the NOVITZKE FAMILY INC.