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Old 02-25-2008, 03:18 PM   #1
Weepy I need help, advice, wisdom, something
mindi
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My dh and I have been married for 10 years. We have 2 ds and are ttc a 3rd. Our 1st ds we had no problems getting pregnant with. Our 2nd ds was a different story. It took us 7 years and 2 miscarriages to get him, and we are truly grateful. We would like to expand our family again, we haven't used any protection since our ds was born, he is now 2 and havent gotten pregnant the "old fashioned" way. I am currently on clomid. This is where the advice and everything comes into play.... I was hoping with this last round to get pregnant, everything looked promising, well i"m getting cramps and am suppose to start tomorrow.This last round of clomid was really rough, I was very depressed.....VERY! I am trying to decided if I should go one more round or just stop...be thankful for the 2 blessings that i have and figure it isn't God's plan to have a 3rd. I need advice, I desperetly want another, I don't feel as if our family is complete......however, it was so bad this past month I don't want to go through that again. If it was just affecting me I could handle it but my dh even made a comment about how bad it was this time around. Words of wisdom from anyone.......I know that it is my choice, but sometimes it is nice to hear other peoples thoughts on the situation, especailly those removed from the situation. People who know you tell you what they think you want to hear, it isn't always valuable advice. Thanks so much in advance, sometimes it helps just to put your thoughts and feelings down in writing.....
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Old 02-25-2008, 03:24 PM   #2
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I'm sorry your having problems. Would you and your dh be willing to adopt? Maybe thats whats in gods plan for you. Good luck at whatever you decide.
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Old 02-25-2008, 04:05 PM   #3
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When we were ttc with our 2nd ds, we actually thought about it. We started going to Foster Parent classes and everything. Foster Parenting wasn't for us, maybe we need to reconsider the adoption angle again. Thanks!
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Old 02-25-2008, 07:24 PM   #4
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Oh... Mindi, I'm sorry to hear it's been so hard.

I have a 'truism' that I keep in my mental pocket, and I pull it out for decision-making. The idea is that confusion is not a positive emotion, and for the spiritual person, confusion is not from God. It's generally a result of warring within myself when I have received clear direction/directive/answer but don't really want to accept it. That's all the wisdom I can share, but it may be something to meditate on.

Perhaps it would help you if your husband could take the girls for a day (or even a couple of hours) and give you some time to go away and do some soul-searching. Perhaps asking yourself why you feel so strongly about a third child would help you sort through the major emotions that you are feeling.

Can you take a few months off from the medication? Give your body time to realign, then you and your husband can take some time to talk it out together without all the emotion - maybe give yourself a 'timeout' period where you can just live and be and take a deep breath.

Also, I wonder (and this probably isn't what you want to hear, so my apologies in advance) how this has been affecting your other children?... Is it possible they are getting the message that they are not 'enough'...? I don't mean that judgementally, I just wonder if you've thought about it from their angle...
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Old 02-26-2008, 07:38 AM   #5
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Would you consider moving on to injectables and possibly an IUI? I'm on clomid now and can completely understand the issues with the side effects. I've heard from lots of women that you don't get the same if any side effects with the injectable medications.

Did you ovulate on Clomid? Maybe if you are ovulating you may want to consider an IUI to just help things out a little. Head over to Ovusoft.com. They have a great TTC forum where you can ask all sorts of questions about all kinds of fertility issues and treatments.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:05 AM   #6
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I have to first say thank you, I knew that i came to the right place to vent and think, I also knew that I would get some great advice!!

amethyst72, there are no apologizes needed, my children have been affected, and that is another issue of do I continue on, my older ds, hasn't made me feel like he thinks he isn't enough, they have been affected though, i have been so focused on another, that I don't feel that I've been the best mommy that I could or should be. This was another concern of continuing...I don't want them to get the short end of the stick because Mommy wants more kids! My older ds says he wants a sister, my younger is to young so he doesn't care, as long as "Polar Express" toys and "Cars" toys are still around he is happy

Travelwrite, thank you for the website, I will defianetly take a look at that. My doctor wants to try invetro next, but my dh, doesn't want to, at all. I hope that you have better luck with the clomid then I am. I think maybe I do need a break from the baby making experience! I need to focus on something else...it is hard not to think about trying to get pregnant!!! I really try not to, but then it becomes a big messed up circle....trying not to think about, then makes you think about it....it's enough to drive you crazy!!!

I will defianetly do some soul searching....try to listen for the right answer, the one that is best for me and my family. I really do appreciate all the advice!
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