I have to first say thank you, I knew that i came to the right place to vent and think, I also knew that I would get some great advice!!
amethyst72, there are no apologizes needed, my children have been affected, and that is another issue of do I continue on, my older ds, hasn't made me feel like he thinks he isn't enough, they have been affected though, i have been so focused on another, that I don't feel that I've been the best mommy that I could or should be. This was another concern of continuing...I don't want them to get the short end of the stick because Mommy wants more kids! My older ds says he wants a sister, my younger is to young so he doesn't care, as long as "Polar Express" toys and "Cars" toys are still around he is happy
Travelwrite, thank you for the website, I will defianetly take a look at that. My doctor wants to try invetro next, but my dh, doesn't want to, at all. I hope that you have better luck with the clomid then I am. I think maybe I do need a break from the baby making experience! I need to focus on something else...it is hard not to think about trying to get pregnant!!! I really try not to, but then it becomes a big messed up circle....trying not to think about, then makes you think about it....it's enough to drive you crazy!!!
I will defianetly do some soul searching....try to listen for the right answer, the one that is best for me and my family. I really do appreciate all the advice!