what would you do?
My BF is prgenant and just had some test done to determine her risk for Downs Syndrome. the ultrasound and bloodwork kind of tests. She is very nervous about them because she is 36 and the doctors have scared the crap out of her. We were talking about it last night and she commented that she has decided no matter what to have a amnio. I was talking to her about the risk and she said she just HAD to make sure her baby did not have Downs because ther is no way she could raise a child like that and that she would terminate the pregnancy.
I am in shock. I am her best friend and I never dreamed that it was even a possibility. She said she and her DH have decided that the it is worth the risk of miscarriage due to the amnio to know whether she is going to continue with the pregnancy. She said "my first baby came out perfect. He slept the whole night, grew up to be smart and indepedent and happy. that is the only way I can have it." Her only other child is almost 15.

Has anyone gone throught this and regretted the decision or been so glad you did what you did?

Unfortunately we did have a baby diagnosed with many many birth defects. So many it filled a 81/2 x11 piece of paper. We did chose to terminate the pregnancy because her survival chances were minimal. She would have only lived minutes upon her birth if she was not still born. It was a very hard choice to make. It was my first pregnancy and I was young.(early 20's) Do I regret our decision maybe sometimes but if we wouldn't have done it I wouldn't have my oldest dd. She was conceived by pure accident 2 months later. It is never an easy decision. would I make that same decision today? I don't know. If it was just a baby with downs I believe I would keep it and try to make the best of it.

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~Jill~

This is a personal decision. I completely understand Jillypoo's reasons for terminating and obviously things worked out well. I mean this is such a gray area! However, I will say straight up, I am pretty much against abortion (except for special circumstances). I have cared for many special needs children over the years and while I don't wish that for myself because it's a hard way to live...it's worth it! Those children are special children of God and you can feel it in their spirits!

I wouldn't have any down's tests done because I didn't want to know! When it came to optional testing, I always asked..."Well, will be need to be prepared to do anything special medically a the birth?" They would say no...so I would say no to the test. I wouldn't terminate the pregnancy anyways. That's just my personal choice. Those tests are probabilities anyways. I know of parents who had the crap scared out of them and then it was for no reason! I also think that sometimes we have to allow for prayer and miracles to happen. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don't..but I personally couldn't end a pregnancy unless it was a life and death thing for myself. I already have a child and I wouldn't ever want to leave her motherless. Otherwise, I would see that pregnancy through and leave it in God's hands. I am not saying it would be easy...especially to raise a special need's child...but I will do whatever God's will is.

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Bekah
Co-founder and CEO of the NOVITZKE FAMILY INC.

First of all. I would like to say that just because your triple or quad marker test comes up postive for downs syndrome it doesn't mean the baby has it It is a test to show if the baby could possibly. It makes no sense I know. But that is just how it is. Also an Amnio is VERY painful if she decides to do it tell her NOT to get the numbing shot It doesn't do anything! I had to have two of them plus the "numbing shot" because my son didn't wanna have his little home invaded so he pushed the needle out. I am choosing not to put my personal feelings and emotions in to this response. But I wish the best for your friend and I hope that the baby is healthy.

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Mom of one kangaroo!

I don't know what I would do in that situation so I'm not going to say what decisions others make is wrong or right. It's a very hard personal decision. Some people do not have the patience to raise such a child.

FYI if she is just going off the alphafetal protein (I think that's how it's worded) then she needs further testing. That test has given many women false positives.

The test DOESNT prove anything it doesnt mean they have it or not it the POSSIBLITY.

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Mom of one kangaroo!

I think the AFP is the spinal bifida one. Not sure.

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Mom of one kangaroo!

I guess its all of them and it depends on the level lol

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Mom of one kangaroo!

I always opt not to have the testing done. I do know of two people that had the amnio and were told there were problems. They both chose to continue the pregnancy and both had healthy babies.

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~Missy~

You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can only decide how you're going to live !!!

I had amnios done with both of mine due to my age. The actual miscarriage rate from amnio is very small, and you never know if you would have miscarried or not anyway. Neither of my kids had any problems. I don't know what I would have done, particularly if it was a child born with a terminal problem. I'm just glad I never had to make that decision and won't criticize anyone else who had to make a difficult decision.

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