OK guys...as I have posted before, my BF is due to have a baby in the first week of September. I was second person she told....her DH first. the SECOND she told me I imediately said " I'm throwing a huge shower!". Woo Hoo!

There will be approx 75 people invited (we are doing a family inclusive shower with DHs and kids). I already have the list and have arranged to go with BF to register and all that stuff. I am having the shower at my brother's house because he lives clos to her, is a good friend of theres and have the outdoor space to accomidate it...I live 2 hours away. I have arranged for BF's Mom to do the cake (her side job) and her grandparents are lending me the tables and roasters and such...so a ll good right? NO!

BF's Aunt called her a few days ago and said that SHE was going to have a shower for her for their family. One would not think that this is a big deal. Well, as it turns out, BF's family are also our friends, so we could not exclude them from the BIG shower so that the Aunt still has people to invite. So Aunty has nobody to invite. I suggested we work together on a shower, but Aunty wants it to be just women, no families, and also wants it to be a formal type thing. We were doing a cookout potluck....very casual.

BF is very stressed about it. I told her whatever she wants me to do is fine with me.

What would you do?

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Illini Bob's wife....mom to 3 little chiefs

Wow - that is tough. For my baby shower, both of my SIL's (different sides of the family) wanted to throw it. One SIL said lets combine and how about you do (fill-in-blank...invitations). Thats what we do really for all our showers now, so not just one if us really hosts it.

But this is a little different. Maybe Bf just needs to tell her she already has a shower planned with all of the family invited and it should be great and say she would really like her to do (fill-in-the-blank). But I don't know - Aunty needs to back down!

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Mom to Kaylee (10/2006)
Waiting on our second bundle of joy to arrive January 2009!

Maybe the aunt could have a more formal gathering once the baby has arrived to celebrate??? I don't know what else to suggest. You already offered the whole "do it together" thing, which would have been my first suggestion. From your post it sounds like your BF was happy with your plans for the more casual one (which personally I'd prefer as well)... I hope that it gets straightened out - a baby is something to celebrate!

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Could you possibly let the aunt have her shower for the women, and invite the families to your party and just let the people who would be invited to both know that they shouldn't bring a gift to yours? If you know them fairly well you could even tell them on the sly what happened - most of them probably have a relative like this aunt and will understand.