God puts the love of wanting more children in our hearts. Wanting to love and raise another child is not selfish.

Well, when I said that having that yearning is natural, it is. Just because you don't have it doesn't make it less so for other women. It is just a biological fact that women have babies and hormones and feelings that go along with those things.

As for my sil, I'm not going to sit here and outline everything she has said...let's just say that it is definitely her not agreeing with our choice to have more children and the comments from her and from others in the family. She had easy pregnancies and deliveries (my first one was 27 hours of labor and several complications, including pre-eclampsia and blood clots in my legs), and no pp depression.

And as for the more kids can mean more stress and more money worries and divorce, from my experience and those I have talked to with larger families than my own, this does not seem to be the case.


Again, I realize that not everyone is cut out for a large family, and that is fine. I just want those people to respect my choice and not make disgusting comments about my intimate life with my dh and asking me if I know what birth control is. It's bad enough when it comes from strangers...it's even worse when it comes from family.

But I am not going to derail the thread any further. I'm done.

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Christie

• Married to Mark since 1995
• SAHM to 4 (so far!): Kelly (6/98); Steven (9/02); Brooke (6/04); Michael (9/07)
• Jane Austen fanatic
• Down to 2 student loans (less than $8K total) and mortgage
• Cradle Catholic
• Politically incorrect
• Yankee with a Southern drawl

If your selfish, then I am too.

I have 3 beautiful children 18,15,and 4.
I had 3 miscarriages and elective sterilization b/c I could not take the heartbreak of miscarriage again.
I STILL want another baby.

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Jane Austin - I'm hoping that the tone I'm reading in your note is just that - a tone I'm reading that maybe you didn't intend. I sure didn't mean to tick you off - I was just thinking that you were looking for understanding/support for your large family while at the same time not respecting your SIL's choice for a small one, which didn't make much sense. Whatever.

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Calimari, I agree with you - not every woman has these feelings - I have 2 kids and I absolutely know I am done. This doesn't mean I am not crazy about my boys, it just means, as you say, that I know my limits. I never ever have those moments of thinking oh maybe just one more! In fact, it took me 4 years to get to the point where I wanted a second. I love children and have been surrounded by them my whole life. I was a kindergarten teacher, I have a BSED in Educational Psychology with a minor in early childhood development, almost every job I have ever had has involved children. But I don't want any more of my own! For those moms that want big families, more power to you. Hardly any of our friends are stopping at 2 these days. We know tons of people with 3 and 4 kids. As they all tell me, 3 is the new 2.

Bluesky, your youngest is still so little and you are young - you have plenty of years to have another if that is what y'all choose to do. Why don't you give it a little time and see what happens. You don't need to have this battle with your dh yet, IMO.