its been a while since i posted, but the last time i was here i told some of you that i started on clomid. that was 5 months ago. my doctor has officially diagnosed me with secondary infertility. i go in to have an HSG next week, then im off to the specialists in another, bigger hospital. my deal is.. i want more children, and we are going through the process to become a foster/adoptive family. but i dont want to spend all the money for ivf or something similar. i guess im just torn. if we adopt eventually, i want to get my tubes tied, but i dont want ot be in the middle of fostering/adopting and get pregnant. it wouldnt be fair to any of the children. i dont know. if anyone has already gone through this, please give me any advice you can. feel free to email me as well. thanks, susan

You're not alone. After years of infertility treatments, many women (or couples) choose to use some form of birth control just so they can have some certainty over their reproductive lives again.

As far as adoption, I've known more than one couple who worked on adopting, hoping to get one child soon, only to be suddenly chosen to adopt two different children at the same time. There are lots of adopted children out there who are growing up with siblings who are only a few weeks or months apart in age!

IF you get pregnant while in the process of adopting, you can make your decisions based on the information you have at the time. You could have your pregancy and still adopt. You can choose to not adopt, too. If you don't adopt, another couple WILL adopt that baby. You don't have to make a commitment to the adoption until the baby is actually born.

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."

I was on clomid for at least 6 mo. I had the HSG and dh had to have a sperm count. Altho I have PCOS, so I knew when we initially started to "want kids" that it would probably be difficult for me. I went to a fertility specialist and he added the vaginal ultrasound as well as a shot once a month (don't remember what it was). I did one month of that. THEN we went on vacation and b/c the shot has to be given a certain day of the cycle, I skipped EVERYTHING that month.....EXCEPT conceiving. DS was conceived while on vacation.

BTW, we were also looking at fostering/adopting. How far are you in the process with the fostering license? The process takes a while - some agencies/counties are REALLY long. I would wait till you've been on clomid a full year b/f taking in any potentially long term kids. JMHO

thanks for the advice. we are just starting the process of foster/adoption licensing. i realize that i am luckier than some, because i was able to have my son without any intervention (i was on the pill when i got pregnant), but i feel like people will see me as being selfish; because i was able to get pregnant, i should just be happy with that and adopt now since so many children are waiting for families. I havent been able to find anyone close to me that is or has gone through all of this. again, thanks for all of the advice. if nothing else, its really nice to just get this off of my chest.

The way clomid can screw with your horomones I would think you were crazy if you weren't a little upset! Man, the days I took those pills I was A MESS!

If God puts it in your heart for another little one then go for it. I, too, didn't want to do Invitro - personal values issue as well as financial. See the specialist and see what happens - you never know.

I still think about fostering... I gotta get my own kids older tho. I don't want to put them thru the issues that can come with kids that are put into the "system".

Already having one child DOES NOT take away the pain of realizing you're going to have trouble having more. Anytime we have our reproductive choices taken from us, it is painful. Of course, you're grateful for your child. That's all the more reason you want a larger family.

When we were going through infertility treatments, we joined an infertility support group through Resolve. It saved my sanity!

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association: homepage

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"Poor people work for their money. Rich people make their money work for them."