Wanting to be home from Co.

wanaBhome22 · **Wanting to be home from Co.**

I posted this on a different thread before i found this new bee forum.

I would have to say this entire subject is my BIGGEST fear. I am still working...just found out # 2 is on the way... (Last week) and my Hubby (what is DH) is insisting that I stay home. He already has "respect" issues with women in general & is extremely money driven. I fear that because I can’t contribute an actual income I won’t have any pull.
YET he still insists to tell me each and every day that when this little one comes I am done working and how wonderful that is going to be for me. I am concerned that he doesn't realize what a change financially this will be for us. (Not that a 2nd child in daycare wouldn't be) I want to stay home...but I can't have a husband de-value me if I stay home. Any situations like this??

Any help would be amazing.

ash52402 · 02-13-2007, 03:07 PM

i'm sure there are others on here with similar situations.
Welcome to the boards!! I'm sure you'll get a lot of great advice here!!

Sun11598 · 02-13-2007, 03:44 PM

Welcome!

If you're interested in becoming a SAHM I would suggest starting NOW that you live like you have one income. You'll build a nice emergency stash - and I'd tuck some of your salary away for you to have access to cash. I would also get a written agreement w/dh that states (in a way that you're comfortable) what your 'jobs' would be and what your compensation would be - even if it's just $10 of fun money per paycheck. GL!

Kim · 02-13-2007, 05:47 PM

It sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart with your dh about your concerns; both the financial aspect and the respect issue. You can try living on his salary as it is right now to see if you can make it work. Be sure to include money for you; for clothing, getting your hair done, or those miscellaneous expenses for "you" things. Many times women feel guilty spending money on themselves after they've become a SAHM because they haven't earned the money. Not true. When you become a SAHM you're in it as a family team. Just because your husband may be the breadwinner don't devalue your role as a team player. Both of you need to be clear about that before you even start. Best of luck to you!!!

wanaBhome22 · **Thankyou**

Thank you all for your kind words and amazing advice. I look forward to beginning living like we have 1 income now so it isn't a shock later. Look forward to contributing my experience to those who need it and can't wait to see how this all turns out.

JeannetteDavis · 02-16-2007, 10:31 AM

Glad you are here. These women really are very supportive and have great advice. Jump right in and post often.

treehugger · 02-16-2007, 10:46 AM

I agree w/ Kim, you really need to sit down and talk to him about all of this now. Being a stay at home mom (sahm) is a full time job in deed. He needs to know this and respect you for it. Good luck and congratulations on your little one on the way and..Welcome!

dh = dear husband or ***husband, depends on your mood that day...lol