Hi. My name is Melissa and I am from Pennsylvania in York County. I have been learning better wasy to manage my money and am learning to live within my means. I was brought up in that way though it seems I was never really taught how to do it on my own. I have quite a lot of debt though I now realize it could be much worse and it is reasonable for me to get out of debt with making a few adjustments. My husband I wish he'd come on board with me. Sometimes I get swept up in his spending but I don't beat myself up over it anymore I just go back and reevaluate my situation and start anew. He just doesn't seem to get that we can want things but not always be able to get what we want right away. I have no idea how to talk with him about it. He has yet for us to become one with our money situation. And I really don't care except that I don't know what he really has. I have hoped that him seeing how I am spending money and using cash instead of plastic has helped me. Though he isn't catching on at all. Now we are planning to start a family and I am really getting scared I mean I know we can afford a little one though with cutbacks. But I am scared that he will just charge and charge and charge for anything we need. We really don't talk finances becasue it's a sore subject. I feel like I am being reprimanded for my debt though I have not added to it (except for student loans last year) since about last fall. I have used my tax return and rebate for practical debt reduction. Whereas for him it's used to buy things he wants. Sorry to vent in this introduction. I just am dreading having this uncomfortable conversation.

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Welcome! I understand how you feel. We haven't lived off credit cards for things we want or need but we have come very close. I have had to talk to my dh a few times lately about finances. I was working until last Jan and brining in decent income. And he kept spending like we still had my money coming in. I know it can be hard to talk to him when it's already a sore subject. But you guys do need to set down and talk. Tell him that your afraid that the spending will cause more money issues as your family is expanding. If he brings up your debt just kindly remind him that you have learned from your mistake and that you are taking steps to correct the situation. Approach him in a matter of fact way if you can.

I'm sorry I'm not much help. But do try and talk to him. I wish I had more advise.

Good luck with everything

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Well I did try to talk with him this evening, but it basically did no good. He actually told me I was being silly. Basically as far as he is concerned his money is his and mine is mine, my bills are mine and his are his. I don't really have a problem with this I mean it's working for us and it still will, though I tried to explain that I was worried about the issue of bringing a baby and us not knowing where each other's money was going and what we have available. He said don't you worry we will be just fine. I have to say I am done with this conversation for a while. I think I am going to take a different approach and see what happens. He has tried for the last year to start an accound that is ours for savings. WEll because I have focused on getting out of debt and going through dave ramseys steps I have not contributed I wanted to do steps 1 and 2 first. Well I am going to continue not to contribute (but save on my own) and when he asks again I am not going to blow it off rather I am going respond with I will contribute when he and I sit down about our finances. I think I'll get through at some point I just need to do this in a way that he doesn't feel threatened and that he'll be open to it. He's very stubborn and he's really a big teenager who unless he believes it was his idea he doesn't do anything. I have started doing a lot of love and logic with him surprisingly it works on spouses just like with kids.

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Welcome, Melissa!

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Michele
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