Ok this question may be too personal but my dh and I are really curious. I will be leaving my job as a school counselor to become a stay at home mom. We will go from living on $80,000 to $45,000 a year. We have other friends who seem to survive and thrive on alot less than this. I know money is a personal issue but I was wondering if any of you SAHM would be willing to share the salary you and your family manage to live on and how you survived the initial "shock" of going from two incomes to one. We know we will make it but are scared of the first few months trying!

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I don't mind sharing. (I don't use my real name anyways).

We are a family of 4 and our household income is $30,000 (before taxes and deductions). Dh makes $20,000 (He works full time). I make $10,000 (I work part time).

We have chosen this lifestyle because it's how we want to live. We love what we do (we work in non profit) and I love that I work part time so I can still be there for the kids before and after school. It does come with sacrifices though. We live in a small house. We have one car which we bought used. We rarely eat out. We plan our menus and stick to a budget. We've never been on a family vacation (except camping, visiting other family or weekends away). We live frugally. We save up for what we want before we buy it (including cars and home renovations.) We live in a very small house. But we're happy and content and that's what matters to us.

What I would suggest is that you start living today like you make $45,000. The rest can be put away to pay off any debt (including cars, credit cards, or student loans), and then build up a good emergency fund of 3-6 months salary for when murphy shows up. (He always does.) If you start living on $45,000 now, you'll know if it's do-able and be able to see the kinds of sacrifices it takes and if that's worth it to you. It's really a personal choice.

Mommysavers is a great place to hang around. It keeps us out of the stores and is great for getting advice on living well on less.

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When my son was born four years ago I quite teaching to stay home with him. one of the things I wish someone had told me was to have a trial run. I've heard this since then but unfortunately it was after I'd already figured things out on my own. At least six months before your last paycheck...do you get paid through the summer? Anyway, start putting your paycheck to the side as if you don't receive it anymore. Basically, pretend you've stopped getting paid. This way you'll get an idea of how much money you really have available to you. I didn't do this...I spent the first six months spending money like I still made it and then the next six months cutting corners so I could pay it off. I believe at the time my husband only made around $35,000...but we're in the military so that doesn't count health insurance. I made around $36,000 when I quite. It's completely doable if you're prepared...I wasn't prepared myself.

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Jenny, wife to Brad, mommy to two crazy little kids with one on the way!

KathrynHannah, you explained it way better than I did.

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Jenny, wife to Brad, mommy to two crazy little kids with one on the way!

i also don't mind sharing we are a family of 5 living on 55,000 a year thats before taxes and deductions so in reality we live on about $2200.00 a month. we also did a trial run before i quit work for about 6-8 months we were able to take my at the time very part time pay and pay off a credit card and some medical bills to make it easier on us monthly.. we also paid off our car the year prior to me quiting and have never had a car payment since(we have paid cash and bought decent used cars) we quit eating out got rid of the cell phone(we have one now thru dh's parents business so it only costs us 25 bucks a month for 2 phones) we went for a time with no cable/satalite tv..

so my biggest advice would be start living on the 45,000 now...use your check after a trial period to have an emergency fund(one thing we should have done) also start looking at where you may need to cut back.. its not easy sometimes but for us it was a choice and we would not change it for the world.. good luck..

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fALL SEVEN TIMES STAND UP EIGHT!

I became a SAHM last July when my daughter was born. I have a 3 year old son too. I was making more than my husband, but daycare costs would have been outrageous for 2 kids! Thankfully we planned ahead. My daughter was born with a birth defect and there is no way I would have felt comfortable leaving her.

About 5 months before my due date, we started trying to live off only my DH's income. This was to see if we could actually do it. We put my salary into a savings account during that time. It was rough at first, but things have worked out. I also made it my mission to reduce some of our bills, such as phone, cable, internet. I'm cooking from scratch now and shopping sales/using coupons. Our income went from $75,000 to $30,000 a year.

We are in the process of paying off some cc debt and some medical bills for my DD. Life is so much better for us now!

That's what our income went to when I had to leave my job when I was pregnant with DD ($80k to $45k). Our change was pretty sudden and unplanned for - I was planning on working my whole pregnancy, but I ended up having to quit when I was 16 weeks preg.

We've cut a LOT out of our life - I don't go shopping much at all - since I had DD at the end of Jan, I've purchased two pair of jeans at $15 each, and a few shirts from Volunteers of America for a couple bucks each. I don't do whim purchases anymore. I make shopping lists. I coupon, and grocery shop every other week, and plan our meals by what is on sale.

I don't leave the house unless I must - usually only once a week. I'm trying to sell my truck, that I still owe on, so that keeps the mileage and the gas down on it.

Because money is a lot tighter, and DH is the only income now, we HAVE to have good communication for money. About every other week now, he gives me about $100 - thats for groceries and then whatever I want to spend (right now, I don't spend it, I save it). We have to discuss what bills are going on, especially since the bills from having DD are coming in now.

I also use my time at home to list things on Craigslist for extra money. DH lets me sell his things he doesn't need anymore too, and lets me keep the money.

Figure your bills and cut what you can now. I found out I could change my cell plan (I added a line for DH back when we were dating), and change it form two separate lines to a family plan for $30 less a month. We switched the satellite company and got the new customer discount. I called and got my DSL dropped down.

And I read lots and lots here and get ideas to either save money or make money! The biggest thing for us was cutting our food/grocery bill. We are ahead of the game a bit because we both hunt, and I garden, but we've gone from about $150 a week in groceries at least, to $200 or less a month.

Good luck!

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It sounds like you and I were separated at birth! Five years ago, I was also a school counselor, left to become at SAHM, and our salaries were almost exactly the same.

We made sure to put away my entire paycheck. First, we bought a fixer-upper and used this money to pay for any work getting done on the house. Then, when it got closer to my leaving, we stopped the work and focused on saving for when we knew I wouldn't be working anymore. The money lasted alittle while, but went alot faster than I had hoped. Unexpected bills and more home work needed to be done. Plus, as a new mom, I didn't know how much I needed to buy! I wound up buying so many things I didn't need - don't fall into that trap!

So, my suggestion- save your ENTIRE paycheck now; this way, you'll be used to it by the time you stay home. Wait.....unless you have credit card debt. Pay that off first, and THEN save like crazy. You don't want to be on one income, in debt, with a new baby if you can help it.

You're lucky you found this message board ahead of time. Wish I had known about it years ago. It would have really helped me during those years.

I was (I guess still am) a Mental Health Counselor. I quit almost 4 years ago when ds was born. I was amazed and still am how God has provided for us. We lived pretty frugally before kids and now live even more frugally. I think our tax forms said that dh makes $48? My biggest problem became feeling fulfilled being a SAHM so I found ways to make money that I found fulfilling - but that is another story.

I know that it is doable. I guess the question for you would be are the sacrifices worth it? I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't go back to working with the population that I worked with, sometimes being asked to stay late if there was an emergency. I also knew that I wanted my kids to know that they are my priority - I've seen too many parents who place their priorities in the wrong spots.

There would be many ways for you to bring in income. The longer I am home the more convinced I am how much my kids need my now and will long into the school years, too. I am not sure when/if I will go back to full time. My kids are more valuable to me than $$$$.

Thank you all so much for the quick replies!

Jiller-it does sound like we were separated at birth-how funny!

Most of you have suggested living on my dh's income now and saving mine. We do have some savings and we just added our tax return to our savings as well. We are currently using my income to pay off some credit card debt we racked up while I was finishing my Master's degree and not working-dh's salary was lower then as well. So I do believe we will be ok as long as we get the majority of our debt paid off by Aug-when my last check comes!

We have looked at our budget and there are lots of things we can cut back on. I shop ALOT-I love new clothes and shoes. That is something I am going to have to learn to sacrifice-I have never shopped at a Goodwill or any other thrift store but from what I read on here I will have to try it! Also we eat out ALOT! Sometimes we spend $500-$1000 a month just at restaurants-crazy I know! One thing I do hope we can still manage is our yearly vacation maybe not the cruises and Caribbean trips we are used to but I hope to save for a trip every year-it is really important to me!

I know being at SAHM is God's will for our family. I just pray He gives me the strength to make the sacrifices I need to and the will to stay away from the mall!

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