I use vinegar in my wash for softness.
I use tin foil balls for static -- this is still a work in progress.
And I use scented oil (cinnamon) for a scent.

I gave up dryer sheets about two months ago and there is no going back! Actually it is really cool because my daughter kept 'itching herself' -- like all the time. Since giving up the dryer sheets this has stopped! Thank goodness!!