Looking Back on My Daughter's First Year

My daughter Sydney’s first birthday is next Wednesday, October 18th. In many ways, the past year has flown by. In other ways, it seems like she has been part of our life forever.

Having children in daycare while both spouses work is a personal decision. There are many benefits to having both spouses employed. For us, however, we felt that Kim should be home with Sydney. Many people talk about the sacrifices that need to be made to have one spouse at home. We never looked at them as sacrifices but rather saw them as choices. Choices that allowed Kim to be home with Sydney the first year of her life. I want to share with you some of the things we have done that made this possible.

Kim enjoyed her work before Sydney was born. One thing she felt would be difficult about staying home would be leaving her job and her friends. We also knew that we would need some additional income other than mine to make ends meet. Before going on maternity leave, Kim and a co-worker presented a proposal to her employer offering to combine their two positions into one job-share position. Her employer agreed to their proposal, and Kim now works a couple of evenings a week while I’m home with Sydney. She also works from home during the day while Sydney naps relying on e-mail and conference calls. This arrangement gives us the additional income we need, and it gives Kim a chance to get away from the house and have some adult contact. Plus, it also gives Sydney and I some quality father-daughter time.

We never had a budget before Sydney was born, but now we live by it. We had to sit down and really analyze what was a realistic amount to spend each month on groceries, household supplies, clothing, and entertainment. Neither of us likes it, but we do our best to follow it. Some months we spend less than our budget, some months we spend a little more, but having that budget as a guide has allowed us to live within our means. It also makes us question whether the purchase is something we really need.

Two of my favorite things to do with our disposable income before Sydney was born were going out to eat and traveling. I thought I would really miss not having the extra money to do that whenever we felt the urge. I can honestly say I haven’t missed it. Having a baby shifts your priorities. We still love to eat out and we’re looking forward to traveling with Sydney but this past year, we’ve just enjoyed being home with her. Then when she goes to bed, there’s nothing better for Kim and I than sharing a pizza and watching a video. It might not be what we used to do, but we definitely enjoy it more.

Garage sales are a great place to find inexpensive clothes and toys for your baby. I don’t like to go to them. Luckily for us, Kim does. By staying home with Sydney and not being at work during the day, she has the time to find some really great deals. Also, when Sydney outgrows the clothes and toys, we can have our own garage sale and sell them again.

These are just a few of the things we have done this past year to allow Kim to be home with Sydney. A lot of people tell us how lucky we are to be able to have Kim at home. We do feel fortunate, but luck played no part in it. We made some difficult choices to make it work and as I look back over the past year, I wouldn’t change any of the choices. As I said at the start of this article, staying at home with your child is a personal decision. This past year has been great and if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that staying at home with your child is possible for anybody. It just involves making choices.

About the Author: Scott W. Danger is a CPA with 15 years accounting experience. He lives with his family in Southern Minnesota.