Milestones: Moms are People Too

Let’s face it. I’m a mom.

I have mastered the fine art of the two-minute diaper change. I sing and (perhaps even more incriminating) dance in public. I can rattle off the names of each of the Wiggles. And I’m, at most, two years from purchasing my first minivan. Yep, a Grade A Certified Mom.

For the record, however, being a mom and being a woman are not mutually exclusive. I still imbibe in an occasional beer with my girlfriends. I enjoy playing cards with my husband and listening to Aretha and Marvin Gaye. Be it known that although I presently call myself Mommy first, I am also Me.

I bring this up because it seems to me that moms today are too often pigeon-holed into one of two molds: the frumpy, dumpy stay-at-home mom with a snot-nosed tot hanging off each limb; or the sharp, aggressive workaholic B-word who dumps her kids at day care and rues the day she ever gave birth in the first place.

In reality, most of us are struggling to balance our children’s best interests with our own variety of individual needs. We want to be good moms, but we are people, too — human beings. However we chose to raise our children, parenting is a difficult row to hoe.

What’s even more interesting to me is how hard we mothers are on each other. Since becoming a mother, I’ve found myself influenced by several “camps” of thinking. Some of us choose to stay home with our children. Some of us choose to work. Some of us are forced into one situation or the other by financial restrictions. Some of us breastfeed our babies. Some of us bottle-feed. Some of us believe in all-natural births sans intervention. Some of us shout, “Give me the drugs!”

My point here is that I have met and enjoyed the company of moms with viewpoints as polar opposite as imaginable. I understand that every woman needs a certain level of support for her decisions, but instead of clinging desperately to friends with like-minded views and passing judgment on the others, maybe we could open our minds just a bit and try to see where those others are coming from. After all, we’re all rowing like bandits in the same laughable, hole-ridden boat.

Take me, for example. If Elmo’s garage-door-raising falsetto gives me two moments of peace to use the bathroom, can you blame me for clicking on the TV each afternoon? Some parents abhor the television; others promote it. Let’s remind ourselves that we all handle adversity in different ways. We can welcome these differences instead of judging those who choose alternate paths. Wouldn’t you want your kids to do the same?

I say take it easy on us moms. If you’re a mom, remember: moms are people, too. If you’re not one, remember: people are mommies, too.


About the Author: Connie Colwell Miller is a freelance writer, editor, and poet. She holds a degree in creative writing from Minnesota State University, Mankato, where she now teaches part-time. She and her husband, Jason, spend their free time chasing after their free-spirited son, Miles, and daughter Elise.